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I made a mistake last week and normally, I find it hard to get over such things. You’d mostly find me all angry at myself for what I did wrong. I sometimes even go weeks being so hard on myself. The case even becomes worse when that particular mistake could have been avoided.

But last week, everything was different. I wasn’t angry at myself. I didn’t beat myself up about it. I was very calm and kept promising myself I was going to do better. It felt a little new for me but I didn’t think about it until today. 

Someone said something really offensive to me today and it took my silence for him to realize it wasn’t a great thing to say. He was expecting me to go off on him because that’s the part of me he’s used to. And it’s true, if I’m being honest, I’ve always been one to go so hard on people who step on my toes. But this time, I was quiet because I had drawn a mental map illustrating that he was only human and not perfect. 

This evening, I was talking to my mom and was letting her how proud I was that I didn’t go off on my friend when he offended me. In fact, I attributed to growth. She said I was still a baby girl and I said no, I’ll forever be her baby girl but I’m now experiencing different form of growth. 

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That was when she made me realize that I didn’t just wake up one day to be like that. It’s something I have been gradually building in me. I don’t know if you are confused but I was. But after her statement, I got to know she meant that I was able to forgive my friend easily because I’ve learned how to forgive myself. 

Shocked? Astonished? I don’t know what word to use for that little period of realization that I experienced. Truly, however we treat people is a projection of how we feel about ourselves. It reminded me of this person who was so mean to everyone around her and we later found out she wasn’t happy with herself.

There are bad days and dark days where you just aren’t yourself around people. But aside that, I believe that we should pay attention to how we treat people (especially those you don’t get any benefit from). Aside from the fact it is a good thing, it is also a reflection of how you feel about yourself. 

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>Images are mine