Aristotle said that humans are a *zoon politikon* (social/civic animal). 

We are hypersocial animals, and some genes in dogs (as opposed to wolves, who don't have those alleles) and humans seem to be working in the same way in us and in them, which might explain why we find each other's company so nice :)

> [On chromosome six in particular, investigators have found three genes that code for hyper-sociability—and they are in the same spot as similar genes linked to similar sweetness in humans.](http://time.com/5342964/human-bond-dog-thoughts/)

Goffman would agree that [how we appear to others dictates a lot of our behavior](http://a.co/h18QIB8).

Just yesterday I was walking down the promenade and I was struck by the image of a very young girl taking pics, under parental instruction, of her young looks-conscious mom who was posing in a sexy manner on decorative rocks. That struck me as vain and very stereotypical of our current culture. Instead of enjoying her walk with her daughter, she's thinking of the uploading she's going to be doing once she gets home, and imparting these same values to her kid.

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Hi Ms. Abi.. 😊😘

Since I was a kid, I've been surrounded by people who have been trying to prove themselves and to be belong, especially during my high school and college days, peer pressure is all over most of them are trying to change who are they just to be able to be accepted in a certain group, even my co-workers before, to be able to prove their worth to our managers they are willing to forget who are they and change themselves to somebody else, 

when I join steemit and until now my self-esteem is not that good, maybe because english is not my native tongue and I am worried that my grammar is not good and no one will like my blog, that why I am so blessed to have some kind people who supported me and my works every single day,,, thank you Ms. Abi for giving me enough confidence to go on.... 😘😘😘

Love Lots, 
Avegail....

In my opinion, everything starts from the environment of living, means many times people who mostly engage in virtual world, feel cut offed from the family or possibly they have extreme environment in their house, so in this situation they need **Attention** and for attention they are taking help of **Social Networking Platforms**.

And next point of understanding is, most of us wait for the constant feedbacks and this essence of feedbacks keep us constantly engage with the **Notification Bar**, so in current phase of time for most of the people notification is becoming like **1/4** excitement levels.

So much attraction towards **Materialistic Aspect** is one more issue which we cannot neglect for sure because, **Social Networking World** filled with the so called colourful lifestyles and full of commercial advertisements and all these visual effects really attracts us and we fall into the **Virtual Illusions**.

Literally "we are controllers of our lives" became an **Lost Aspect** in my opinion because if we observe people's behaviour in current phase towards their virtual gadgets then it can push us towards the deep thinking because, these gadgets are controlling us and if we stay away from these gadgets then many face the **Panic Attacks**.

And in my opinion, if this cycle will continued in this way only then, when we face the future world of **Artificial Intelligence**, at that time our flow of living will be changed because no one is bringing **Artificial Intelligence**, only we are encouraging for the more super technologies, but we have to remember that, we should use that much which we can digest, same way this phase of **Virtual Reality** and **Super Technological Developments** can drain our organic life.

Wishing you an great day and stay blessed. 🙂

@abigail-dantes, **External Validation** and **Need For Approval** are limited to some extent when it's come to life, but some people are addicted to these concepts and that is because they need **Importance**.

And this aspect of **Importance** is really an illusionary state means, they fantasise it like, if today i will do this haircut and put this **Gel** then i will look more attractive and i can get more likes and comments.

So we are moving into the **Scoring System** where we are trying to fit ourselves in an world which is not our need but we are moving their because we are finding pleasure in **Materialistic World**.

And one common **Phenomenon** which stays in minds of many is, **how i am appearing**, means people need recognition and appreciations all the time from others and it became an motivating aspect for them, but the most negative point of this phase is, if people will not get any appreciation or feedback then they hold the tendency to depress themselves. So we have understand the concepts of **Need For Approval** and **External Validation**.

Wishing you an great day and stay blessed. 🙂

![cuddle_bodypillow.png](https://steemitimages.com/DQmcbmS1H6pZTgaZ3YeRNrXCE8v9QMpz91QwhRGdVo1nwy8/cuddle_bodypillow.png)

Well, as your number one, go-to-egomaniac it's only natural I will share some of my thoughts about this topic with you.

>Narcissists choose dominance. People who have healthy self-esteem, on the other hand, favour equality. In the same way that while narcissists adopt arrogance, criticism and denigration. Confident individuals go for humility, constructive feedback and respect individuals for who they are.

I very much disagree with this statement.
In my opinion, you can have a high self-esteem as well display a good amount of arrogance - without being a narcissist. 
You don't need to treat everybody with respect and equality, if they don't deserve it. I don't have to respect brain-dead monkeys like religious people who are imposing their beliefs upon others, sometimes even threatening, hurting or killing them. Nope. Not a bit of respect and equality for these examples of human degeneration. And I can disrespect them without being a narcissist at all.
I treat people equally who deserve this kind of treatment. Well-used arrogance and denigration can be very helpful tools in dealing with certain kinds of people.
<br>

>All this can be explained by the very fact that people presenting healthy self-esteem have built their confidence upon real achievements, deep moral values as well as care and respect for others. This is not the same when it comes to narcissists, as their actions are generally fuelled by insecurity, inadequacy and fear of failure. 

Again, I disagree. You can still have a high self-esteem, but this doesn't need to be connected to real achievements. You can be very well aware of your skills, which are enabling you to actually do stuff - but even if you achieve much, your self-esteem might not be positively affected by it. For example, if you are a perfectionist, you will never be really satisfied with the things you have achieved, because there will always be something, which you could have done better. In this way, "real achievements" might even have a negative impact on your self-esteem. This is, why it's important, in my opinion, to disconnect your self-esteem from your achievements and focus on your actual skill set. You need to be satisfied with your own abilities and therefore your own personality and not with the things you did (not).

Besides that: I also don't think deep moral values are a key factor for high self-esteem. Morality is usually a quite flexible, fragile thing which mainly depends on your current social status and the groups you are belonging to. These things can change pretty fast. Attaching your self-confidence to your morality would make your self-esteem as fragile as moral values usually are. 
Doesn't seem like a good idea to me ¯\ _ (ツ)_/¯

Thank you. I liked this topic a lot and want to share a longer comment this time. 

The fascination with human pathology is a phenomenon, isn't it? It can be discussed particularly well in virtual space. Actually, only the other narcissists or even pronounced narcissists are always predisposed, but not oneself :-))

Particularly good examples can be found in the widespread media, which are concerned with politics and business. I also believe, however, that this is systemically conditioned and that people make other people narcissists once they have focused on this subject. A little I follow Eckhard Tolle, who says that we humans like feeding our painful bodies very much and eagerly. The keywording does its part. 

My approach is that there is no such thing as a pure narcissist and a person unites many qualities, which always come to light when they are confirmed, strengthened and also put under suspicion by others (exceptions confirm the rule). The mutually feeding actors in a system do a lot to make someone into this or that character. It is a creation of several or many. For example, if you see the leader of a country as a narcissist. I think that the projection of many reinforce this special quality and also help it to size. If I perceive mostly the evil predominantly in a person, then I am quasi an accomplice of his negative views and actions. 

I once read a very interesting fictional story about an apocalyptic existence in which a girl escaped from a dome city and got to know a companion on the way. She felt protected and accompanied by this companion. But finally she found out that her friend was the most feared creature on earth. She just didn't know it and treated the beast nicely. If she had known beforehand what a terrible creature it was, she would probably have run away in fear. It would never have been proven that the beast was also friendly. It is a strong symbolism here that has to do with fear. ... Who senses that other people fear him may acquire the strange conviction that people are to be distrusted. 

... I think it is not only someone who tends to have narcissistic features if this increases, because I think that this tendency could be weakened if the environment is free of fear and prejudice. 

My suggestion would therefore be to see if and to what extent one finds a narcissistic tendency in oneself. 

For myself, I've found that when I'm under a lot of tension or quarrelling with someone close to me, I tend to make them the object of my mental analysis. This is quite common nowadays, as we live in a psychologized society. 

My self-esteem decreases with the increasing devaluation of someone else, I see a direct connection there. 

I then find that the more I attribute positive qualities to other people and encourage what they bring with them in terms of resources and solution intelligence, that then my own self-esteem also increases, because I was able to contribute to connote something positively and to frame it. 

The thing is that you can't fake something like that and you need real kindness towards someone to not take what you dislike so important and to see in which hidden corner you can find self-worth. Most, if not all, people have these corners. 

> It is the flexibility of the self that allows us to explore new territories, rediscover, and recreate who we are from time to time. 

Yes, very much so. I would even say that counts for each and every encounter during the day.