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Her eyes moved toward the steering wheel as she uttered the words "You're going to die" in a perfectly haunting tone.

This was how my life almost ended in 2009 just after I got out of the Navy.  My girl friend's name was (and probably still is) Patti, and I had just hours before made the altogether proper suggestion that she and I go our separate ways.  We had been dating for over a year.  In all the history of man I'm sure that at some point the following words were produced:  "Bad relationships build character".  This is of course not true.

She went silent as I went on about how I would help rent a U-Haul to remove her objects from my apartment.  We lived an hour and a half drive east of San Diego.  The car was silent.  It's awkward times like these that something inside me wants to break out in laughter.  I'm glad that did not happen as I would have traded too much alertness for delirium.

We were the only ones within sight driving 80 mph away from the setting sun.  If the x-axis represented awkwardness and the y- axis represented the likelihood of a heart pounding event, I felt I existed somewhere near the bottom right of the page (not an ideal position, but livable).  She begged to differ.  When I least expected it (doesn't that phrase get used too often.. kind of like "it was the last place I looked") she looked over at me ready to speak.  She spoke those words in the sort of tone that guaranteed a chill up my spine.  "You're going to die".  She moved to grab the steering wheel and I slammed on the brakes (she had such pleasant plans of us together forever in Heaven too..)

In our modern day lives there are far too few instances where the quickness of our feet will keep us from death.  It is not every day that we are chased by tigers (if this is your typical day please take no offense).  My feet saved my life that day.  Rarely does an opportunity to profitably drive under half the speed limit by choice present itself.  The car moved at 30 mph the rest of the way home.

Tips for survival:
* Never attempt a breakup until after the car has come to a complete stop
* Use a ham radio to talk to your future self to ensure there are no crazy Pattis in your future
* Dont' be afraid to keep your feet alive by allowing them the occasional brake