How to make stupid shit up and still sound credible on the internet by aldentan

View this thread on: hive.blog | peakd.com | ecency.com

funny · @aldentan · Oct 27 '16

$0.11

How to make stupid shit up and still sound credible on the internet

<html>
<h1>1) Lie</h1>
<p>Yes. You need to get this basic foundation down. You need to lie. Fuck your moral code man. It's time to lie!</p>
<p><strong>2) Say that it worked for you and therefore will work for others</strong></p>
<p>Whatever it is you're talking about or trying to sell, you absolutely must say that it worked for you.</p>
<p>You gain some specific results from it. And because it worked for you, you therefore must shove it down everyone else's throats that it will work for them.</p>
<p>Does it matter that others are different from you and require a different solution altogether? Of course not! YOUR way is THEIR way! Make sure they know that!</p>
<h1>3) Steal and use famous logo templates, like this Sundance one</h1>
<p>http://alden-tan.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/10/award-leaves1.jpg</p>
<p>No one would be the wiser!&nbsp;</p>
<h1><strong>4) Answer questions like Donald Trump</strong></h1>
<p><strong>http://alden-tan.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/10/ArmX82G.jpg</strong></p>
<p>In other words, you don't even have to answer shit!</p>
<p><strong>5) Get testimonials from your friends or readers, but manipulate them into writing it in a way only you want&nbsp;</strong></p>
<p>Some asshole marketer asked for a testimonial from me once. I gave it to me.</p>
<p>His reply was, "Hey Alden, why don't you write it this way instead?" and then pretty much wrote it himself.</p>
<p>That is why you need to stop believing in testimonials. It's mostly pre-fabricated bullshit.</p>
<p>If you want an honest opinion, check reviews, not testimonials.</p>
<p><strong>6) Back your shit up with statistics, numbers and shit</strong></p>
<p>Like, 74% of people in Singapore have claimed that, in a recent research by the government they believe everything they read online.</p>
<p>See what I did there?</p>
<p><strong>7) Back it up with "research" through inbound links</strong></p>
<p>And your research can be merely answers from Yahoo! Answers or from Quora.</p>
<p>Then you do this: "According to <a href="https://sg.answers.search.yahoo.com/search?fr=uh3_answers_vert_gs&amp;type=2button&amp;p=stupid%20shit">this</a>, <a href="https://sg.answers.search.yahoo.com/search?fr=uh3_answers_vert_gs&amp;type=2button&amp;p=stupid%20shit">this</a>, <a href="https://sg.answers.search.yahoo.com/search?fr=uh3_answers_vert_gs&amp;type=2button&amp;p=stupid%20shit">this</a> and <a href="https://sg.answers.search.yahoo.com/search?fr=uh3_answers_vert_gs&amp;type=2button&amp;p=stupid%20shit">this</a> it is real and true."</p>
<p>Put in a shit ton of links. People will think that you're so cool because you did your research.</p>
<h1><strong>8) Just bullshit to people that you make a ton of money from it</strong></h1>
<p>Whatever bullshit lies you come up with, just say that you make a living from it. Say you're rich from it even.</p>
<p>People won't dare to question you because most are unfulfilled and unhappy.</p>
<h1>9) Don't use facts. Use your one real experience</h1>
<p>http://alden-tan.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/10/Logical-Fallacy-22-Anecdotal.png</p>
<p>Bam! The anecdotal fallacy bitch!</p>
<p>That's about it for now!</p>
<p>Peace,</p>
<p>Alden</p>
<p><a href="www.Alden-Tan.com">www.Alden-Tan.com</a></p>
</html>

👍 wang, joseph, bue, cryptoctopus, sweetsssj, asmolokalo, thecurator, aldentan, doitvoluntarily, orientaledu, onetree, masteryoda, juvyjabian, vi1son, nonameslefttouse, bue-witness, ace108, boy, thegoodguy, kyusho, laonie4, mini, murh, dianargenti, grandpere, daniel.pan, kooshikoo, bunny, healthcare, sergey44, ahead, ellamaeamor, helen.tan, spaninv, moon, jesusislord, lennstar, steem3585, keleathyggwyn, dacageagajurus, rodevez, firoheroni, ridanorogo, marlow, sewimodemi, miloloki, pinc, globeskeptic, cassandracomplex, stevebj, shiri, adelja

`author`	aldentan
`permlink`	how-to-make-stupid-shit-up-and-still-sound-credible-on-the-internet
`category`	funny
`json_metadata`	{"tags":["funny","life","story","humor","bullshit"],"image":["http://alden-tan.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/10/award-leaves1.jpg","http://alden-tan.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/10/ArmX82G.jpg","http://alden-tan.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/10/Logical-Fallacy-22-Anecdotal.png"],"links":["https://sg.answers.search.yahoo.com/search?fr=uh3_answers_vert_gs&type=2button&p=stupid%20shit","www.Alden-Tan.com"]}
`created`	2016-10-27 17:34:15
`last_update`	2016-10-27 17:34:15
`depth`	0
`children`	6
`last_payout`	2016-11-27 18:12:39
`cashout_time`	1969-12-31 23:59:59
`total_payout_value`	0.092 HBD
`curator_payout_value`	0.020 HBD
`pending_payout_value`	0.000 HBD
`promoted`	0.000 HBD
`body_length`	3,236
`author_reputation`	59,240,439,864,467
`root_title`	"How to make stupid shit up and still sound credible on the internet"
`beneficiaries`	`[]`
`max_accepted_payout`	1,000,000.000 HBD
`percent_hbd`	10,000
`post_id`	1,633,668
`net_rshares`	1,768,214,541,391
`author_curate_reward`	""

properties (23)vote details (52)

voter	rshares	pct
wang	726,363,376,189	64%
boy	5,649,062,170	100%
bue-witness	6,868,726,038	100%
bunny	1,153,777,357	100%
bue	105,007,812,633	100%
mini	3,025,339,110	100%
moon	387,292,471	100%
joseph	582,058,625,314	20%
masteryoda	16,605,728,134	1%
healthcare	1,134,799,096	100%
daniel.pan	1,778,982,874	100%
helen.tan	522,665,857	100%
spaninv	478,411,693	10%
cryptoctopus	68,377,604,407	10%
jesusislord	214,325,772	50%
murh	2,143,106,387	15.09%
grandpere	1,850,164,469	10%
asmolokalo	30,650,213,851	100%
vi1son	9,953,225,368	100%
globeskeptic	112,294,718	50%
thegoodguy	4,591,606,349	100%
juvyjabian	16,167,963,515	100%
ellamaeamor	550,897,069	100%
sergey44	925,974,209	100%
kooshikoo	1,645,853,981	100%
ace108	6,732,577,701	64%
laonie4	3,359,224,802	20%
orientaledu	18,793,702,932	90%
shiri	77,691,152	100%
thecurator	24,869,257,213	64%
sweetsssj	45,600,664,754	42%
onetree	18,251,518,424	100%
doitvoluntarily	21,593,557,370	100%
kyusho	3,699,408,070	50%
keleathyggwyn	157,786,638	100%
dacageagajurus	157,451,689	100%
rodevez	153,753,360	100%
ahead	578,937,339	20%
dianargenti	2,089,366,994	100%
pinc	124,922,471	100%
firoheroni	149,203,253	100%
aldentan	23,905,728,784	100%
ridanorogo	146,730,709	100%
miloloki	142,762,812	100%
nonameslefttouse	8,494,234,850	100%
sewimodemi	143,381,628	100%
marlow	145,743,714	100%
adelja	61,863,998	100%
cassandracomplex	110,121,339	100%
stevebj	102,986,792	100%
lennstar	195,839,262	100%
steem3585	158,294,310	100%

@cassandracomplex · Oct 29 '16

Funny and I've come across many posts and articles like that over the 15 years being online. Mostly on tumblr and feminists blogs xD

👍 aldentan

`author`	cassandracomplex
`permlink`	re-aldentan-how-to-make-stupid-shit-up-and-still-sound-credible-on-the-internet-20161029t153104848z
`category`	funny
`json_metadata`	{"tags":["funny"]}
`created`	2016-10-29 15:33:15
`last_update`	2016-10-29 15:33:15
`depth`	1
`children`	1
`last_payout`	2016-11-27 18:12:39
`cashout_time`	1969-12-31 23:59:59
`total_payout_value`	0.000 HBD
`curator_payout_value`	0.000 HBD
`pending_payout_value`	0.000 HBD
`promoted`	0.000 HBD
`body_length`	132
`author_reputation`	36,660,823,680
`root_title`	"How to make stupid shit up and still sound credible on the internet"
`beneficiaries`	`[]`
`max_accepted_payout`	1,000,000.000 HBD
`percent_hbd`	10,000
`post_id`	1,646,780
`net_rshares`	21,697,382,273
`author_curate_reward`	""

properties (23)vote details (1)

voter	weight	wgt%	rshares	pct	time
aldentan	0 B		21,697,382,273	100%

@aldentan · Oct 29 '16

There you go lol. Says it all.

properties (22)

`author`	aldentan
`permlink`	re-cassandracomplex-re-aldentan-how-to-make-stupid-shit-up-and-still-sound-credible-on-the-internet-20161029t204040689z
`category`	funny
`json_metadata`	{"tags":["funny"]}
`created`	2016-10-29 20:40:39
`last_update`	2016-10-29 20:40:39
`depth`	2
`children`	0
`last_payout`	2016-11-27 18:12:39
`cashout_time`	1969-12-31 23:59:59
`total_payout_value`	0.000 HBD
`curator_payout_value`	0.000 HBD
`pending_payout_value`	0.000 HBD
`promoted`	0.000 HBD
`body_length`	30
`author_reputation`	59,240,439,864,467
`root_title`	"How to make stupid shit up and still sound credible on the internet"
`beneficiaries`	`[]`
`max_accepted_payout`	1,000,000.000 HBD
`percent_hbd`	10,000
`post_id`	1,648,458
`net_rshares`	0

@kooshikoo · Oct 27 '16

That Donald Trump quote as an example was hillarious! It's just mindblowing that you can spew bulllshit like that and be taken seriously!
Very entertaining article, it made me wake up and read it all, like I often unfortunately don't.

👍 aldentan

`author`	kooshikoo
`permlink`	re-aldentan-how-to-make-stupid-shit-up-and-still-sound-credible-on-the-internet-20161027t193740260z
`category`	funny
`json_metadata`	{"tags":["funny"]}
`created`	2016-10-27 19:36:30
`last_update`	2016-10-27 19:36:30
`depth`	1
`children`	0
`last_payout`	2016-11-27 18:12:39
`cashout_time`	1969-12-31 23:59:59
`total_payout_value`	0.000 HBD
`curator_payout_value`	0.000 HBD
`pending_payout_value`	0.000 HBD
`promoted`	0.000 HBD
`body_length`	234
`author_reputation`	2,159,492,091,156
`root_title`	"How to make stupid shit up and still sound credible on the internet"
`beneficiaries`	`[]`
`max_accepted_payout`	1,000,000.000 HBD
`percent_hbd`	10,000
`post_id`	1,634,507
`net_rshares`	24,425,822,394
`author_curate_reward`	""

properties (23)vote details (1)

voter	weight	wgt%	rshares	pct	time
aldentan	0 B		24,425,822,394	100%

@nonameslefttouse · Oct 27 '16

Thanks for writing this.  One thing holding Steemit back right now would be the bullshit artist.  People come along, they believe this bullshit, they start to bullshit, we're all stuck with bullshit, they steal their bullshit, start competing over who's the bigger and best bullshitter, more people come along and believe this bullshit, the bullshit rises, the bullshit is then bullshitting people into how to act... and all we're left with is bullshit.

👍 aldentan, cassandracomplex

`author`	nonameslefttouse
`permlink`	re-aldentan-how-to-make-stupid-shit-up-and-still-sound-credible-on-the-internet-20161027t185826646z
`category`	funny
`json_metadata`	{"tags":["funny"]}
`created`	2016-10-27 18:58:36
`last_update`	2016-10-27 18:58:36
`depth`	1
`children`	2
`last_payout`	2016-11-27 18:12:39
`cashout_time`	1969-12-31 23:59:59
`total_payout_value`	0.000 HBD
`curator_payout_value`	0.000 HBD
`pending_payout_value`	0.000 HBD
`promoted`	0.000 HBD
`body_length`	453
`author_reputation`	593,361,688,458,528
`root_title`	"How to make stupid shit up and still sound credible on the internet"
`beneficiaries`	`[]`
`max_accepted_payout`	1,000,000.000 HBD
`percent_hbd`	10,000
`post_id`	1,634,207
`net_rshares`	24,535,943,733
`author_curate_reward`	""

properties (23)vote details (2)

voter	weight	wgt%	rshares	pct	time
aldentan	0 B		24,425,822,394	100%
cassandracomplex	0 B		110,121,339	100%

@cassandracomplex · Oct 29 '16

Yeah I think those bullshit people are from tumblr ,they are worshiped on that echo chamber website, watch out if they all start pouring in on here....you'll never hear the end of their deluded fantasies. And they will get your fired if you call them out on their B.S

properties (22)

`author`	cassandracomplex
`permlink`	re-nonameslefttouse-re-aldentan-how-to-make-stupid-shit-up-and-still-sound-credible-on-the-internet-20161029t153019270z
`category`	funny
`json_metadata`	{"tags":["funny"]}
`created`	2016-10-29 15:32:30
`last_update`	2016-10-29 15:32:30
`depth`	2
`children`	1
`last_payout`	2016-11-27 18:12:39
`cashout_time`	1969-12-31 23:59:59
`total_payout_value`	0.000 HBD
`curator_payout_value`	0.000 HBD
`pending_payout_value`	0.000 HBD
`promoted`	0.000 HBD
`body_length`	267
`author_reputation`	36,660,823,680
`root_title`	"How to make stupid shit up and still sound credible on the internet"
`beneficiaries`	`[]`
`max_accepted_payout`	1,000,000.000 HBD
`percent_hbd`	10,000
`post_id`	1,646,773
`net_rshares`	0

@nonameslefttouse · Oct 30 '16

I had to fire someone (mute) over some bullshit the other day.  Doesn't feel good, but that's the effect of this bullshit.

properties (22)