Isis Guides (Pop Song of The Summer Part 5) - COM #31 Entry 2 by amirtheawesome1

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comedyopenmic · @amirtheawesome1 · Sep 21 '18 (edited)

$7.58

Isis Guides (Pop Song of The Summer Part 5) - COM #31 Entry 2

Hey everyone, this the fifth installment to my pop album. See other songs here ([fat](https://steemit.com/comedyopenmic/@amirtheawesome1/fat-fat-fat-pop-song-of-the-summer-comedy-open-mic-round-13-entry-1), [boobs and boners](https://steemit.com/comedyopenmic/@amirtheawesome1/boobs-and-boners-another-pop-song-of-the-summer), [lazy](https://steemit.com/comedyopenmic/@amirtheawesome1/lazy-pop-song-of-the-summer-part-3), [hotdamn electricity](https://steemit.com/comedyopenmic/@amirtheawesome1/hotdamn-electricity-pop-song-of-the-summer-part-4-com-28-entry-1)).

Not that I'm suggesting anyone to do so. Here's an Isis guide for those looking to join. This might a more enjoyable experience if you listen to the original songs I'm lyrically parodying. The links for the songs will be attached to the names of the original songs.


(Verse 1) [Passenger - Let her go](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RBumgq5yVrA)

![2.jpg](https://cdn.steemitimages.com/DQmdBdEscfeJyvGGd6ngHdUcrAWA8SCkSsJkPdSK7hcJa96/2.jpg)

Well, you're truly joining Isis 
When you're shooting roads
Only hold a grenade 
If you intend to throw 
Only hold their necks up
For the blood to flow 

Only kill in tens 
Any less is low 
Only wear black 
So we know you're pro
Only think of your beard
If you let it grow 

And you let it grow

Waiting at the field of grass
Hold to the bomb that'll blow up that class
Then your bomb blows and they're running fast

I see you have those eager martyr eyes
One that blows cars, and holds heads to slice
Everything you touch surely dies (Wow, didn't need to change that one) 

But, you only kill women
When their ankles show
Only get your payment 
When the car explodes
Only take the bomb
When attending concert show

Only get to the roof 
When you shoot below
You only rank up 
When you're blowing homes
Only get to heaven 
When your body blows

And you let it blow 

(Verse 2) [Luis Fonsi - Despacito](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kJQP7kiw5Fk)

![11Cosby.jpg](https://cdn.steemitimages.com/DQmcVphxGL5grkuYnqXoJ1KgBWpCc7764agf7zWTU4ak4cx/11Cosby.jpg)

See, all the people you could blow today 
All the buildings you could destroy 
Without some fire this mall is just lame 
Here take the rifle and go enjoy 

"Dude, I know that you're feeling like the man
But first we must come up with a smart plan 
We don't want to end up in Guantanamo 

There, they'll make us walk on broken glass
Feeding dozen of sausages through the ass
So focus, which one we wanna blow"

Uhmm.... 

Kill all people
Only solution is for us to kill all the people
We'll blow as hard as the star wars prequels
And shoot them hard with that desert eagle 
Kill all people 
Look around and find the nearest cathedral 
Make sure all your strikers are fucking lethal 
Stick your knife deep inside their pee holes

Blow them as hard as hurricane Maria did to Puerto Rico
As crazy as Jim Carrey went loca 
When he did that fashion week show 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-JmNKGfFj7w

Rip them apart like we do mosquitoes
Break their bones like orange Doritos 
Then peacefully pray, to the mosque we go

(Obligatory rap) Daddy Yankee 

![71pRUUUVcUL._RI_.jpg](https://cdn.steemitimages.com/DQmeVP913vagUj8hx38UsZBXvPFJGyVqMm5zBLpViBim53s/71pRUUUVcUL._RI_.jpg)

It's time for bombs and guns brawl
Twitter will have a hashtag bawl
Unless it happens in an Arab mall
In that case then  fuck them all
We'll trend worldwide unless Kim K shows some bum
Or we find out a new porn star has made Trump cum
Unless we kill some rich non-binary named Jackie
We don't want to make twitter unhappy 
So wait till Nicki Minaj is feuding with Cardin 
Actually let's focus only on killing Iraqis 

All is equal. So kill all kind people
Blow a steeple, to show that we're peaceful
Like the kind mother Theresa 
This is our heaven visa 

Get the laypeople, shoot the desert eagle
Have them squirm around seagulls
You could never have peace, ya.
Unless it's from a pizza (get it?)


 
I nominate @carlgnash to sing this mess. As well @llfarms because at this point it's just a habit.

👍 hendrikdegrote, comedyopenmic, lochitour, tombstone, kevinwong, curie, buttcoins, wackou, vact, c-cubed, c-squared, acolucky, kotturinn, hr1, abh12345, belemo, joshua-golbuu, llfarms, steemcommunity, dhimmel, lordbutterfly, amirtheawesome1, holybranches, polyphemus, kkkkkl, dandays, jazzhero, profanereviews, liberosist, chillibeans, jedi-won, choogirl, anwenbaumeister, bitfiend, idikuci, steemnsfw, take5, rahul.stan, lynncoyle1, tuck-fheman, rubencress, com-judge, massivevibration, sisygoboom, granolalight, bondy007, stevenmosoes, drmake, jefpatat, crystalpacheco30, sluttynsfw, locikll, gibic, sharanaithal, reactionaries, cryptocurator, fromthebeginning, didic, call-me-howie, ratticus, predict-crypto, gracehills, arconite, benleemusic, and 214 others

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danlipert	160,099,242	2.5%
ektorcaba	104,913,149	25%
clement.poiret	382,759,064	5%
aleatory	81,898,166	15.12%
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vyaduka	349,141,371	2.5%
shepherd-stories	94,529,009	7.56%
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@boyerobert · Sep 23 '18

We have not been in space yet, its alllllll Hollywood bro :-)

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@c-squared · Sep 23 '18 (edited)

c-squared-comment

UPDATE: Hi @amirtheawesome1 this post has been featured in **Exponential! C² Featured Posts**, a daily publication of the @c-cubed blog. Check it out :)
https://steemit.com/curation/@c-cubed/exponential-c-featured-posts-september-22nd-2018
<div class="pull-left">https://cdn.steemitimages.com/DQmaSUWYsJ3AMUEMRqCSaoKJVNvtsbKm4fNAtmTidr8Uggc/C%20Squared%20Logo%20Transparency%20200px.png</div><br>This post was shared in the <a href="https://discord.gg/B8JFmJ4">Curation Collective Discord community</a> for curators, and upvoted and resteemed by the @c-squared community account after manual review.

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@com-judge · Sep 21 '18

$2.37

Hi amirtheawesome1, 
 
Thank you for your entry in to #comedyopenmic comedy contest. We have asked the judges below to review your entry and give it a funny rating. (They generally have no sense of humor, as the saying goes, those that can't do, start contests and judge).
This will determine your ultimate position when the results are tallied. (That being said, you are free to adopt any position you wish - we can recommend pantsless with beer in hand.)

#### Judges:
- @artakush
- @acolucky
- @profanereviews
 
If you have any questions or queries please feel free to contact one of the judges or come say hi in discord: [Click Here](https://discord.gg/rddw2Ny)
 
<center>[Click To Vote](https://v2.steemconnect.com/sign/account-witness-vote?witness=comedyopenmic&approve=1) @ComedyOpenMic For Witness And Disrupt The Steem Blockchain With Laughter!<a href="https://v2.steemconnect.com/sign/account-witness-vote?witness=comedyopenmic&approve=1">
<img src="https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/448711994275659777/454625592675926026/image.jpg" alt="Support COM Banner" style="width:42px;height:42px;border:0;">
</a>
<sub>Thank you to @matytan for the great banner </sub></center>

👍 comedyopenmic, bondy007, cheneats, sou1iane

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@crystalpacheco30 · Sep 23 '18

voted from the whaleshares show

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@dandays · Sep 21 '18

Once again @amirtheawesome1, thanks for the unique style of entertainment! Dude that Jim Carry clip though, hilarious! What in the real heck is that?!

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@amirtheawesome1 · Sep 21 '18

I'm just trying different approaches. That Jim Carrey thing trended for a while last year

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@kigigha · Sep 21 '18

Lol nice one man. The first verse got me real good 😂

👍 amirtheawesome1

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@amirtheawesome1 · Sep 21 '18

Yeah let it go by passenger is what inspired this whole piece for me so it makes sense. Glad you enjoyed it.

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@llfarms · Sep 21 '18

😂

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@amirtheawesome1 · Sep 21 '18

❤️

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@lordbutterfly · Sep 21 '18

I have to say this is damn brilliant. 😂

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@amirtheawesome1 · Sep 21 '18

Thank you.

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@profanereviews · Sep 21 '18

Apparently, you think it's still summer. Well I got news for you, pal.

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@amirtheawesome1 · Sep 21 '18

Congratz for your Haiku.

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@haikubot · Sep 21 '18

<em>Apparently, you 
Think it's still summer. Well I 
Got news for you, pal. 
</em>
&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;<sup>- profanereviews</sup>

---
<sup><sup><em>I'm a bot. I detect haiku.</em></sup></sup>

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@stevenmosoes · Sep 23 '18

Thank you for sharing on whaleshares discord show.

👍 stevenmosoes, adunniade, flamingsport

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