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Conform? Never! Stop Trying to Change Them by arbitrarykitten

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· @arbitrarykitten · (edited)
$6.62
Conform? Never! Stop Trying to Change Them
Or Yourself. <p><div class="pull-right">https://steemitimages.com/DQmVt2Nj47EpsZ6NCZ9viGdRRmpq5qSayKscSS1ghHJXrbM/pineapple.jpg</div>

Society wants a perfect little pineapple. Pineapples don't argue. Or ask the tough questions. Pineapples just sit there like perfect little minions and do as they are told.

**Disclaimer**: *Before we get further, I wish to stress an important clarification. If you are trying to change yourself into something better, or more productive, or kinder and more appreciative, by all means do so. This article is not about that.  Always strive to be the best you you can be :)*

Noone will ever truly fit into the mold that "they" created without regard to the beautiful idiosyncrasies that make a human.  

We are each born different than all the others. If we were all the same it would be an awfully boring world! An easy and effortless one for the PTB, but you are not living life for them, are you? 

One trap we vacantly fall into sometimes is trying to make others conform to a way of acting that differs from their natural ways.  For instance a teacher may be caring, but she is overworked and underpaid, and her most energetic student has a difficult time staying still in his seat.  For starters, human children are not meant to sit still behind a desk. Why do you think they have an overabundance of energy? They are built to run and play and do a lot of work for the family- in a bilogical sense- to earn their keep as an extra member. Their energy is a natural part of growing up.  

So the harried teacher is pushed by her superiors to force the children into an unnatural state and make them all act the same, like good little pineapples all in a quiet row.  And little Johnny is punished due to nature.

<p><div class="pull-left">https://steemitimages.com/DQmZGtEgDVU2fC5C4UgfXRJeAStE7sBs3VAX4q2eAcC7SEu/image.png</div>

Some schools in Europe allow students with energy to stand and walk about in the back of the classroom while doing their work.  That may be something worth bringing up to the administration of your school if you are a teacher or parent as it is working well for the schools where they have implemented it, and the children are vastly more productive- and *everybody* is happy, healthy, and learning.  Also, fidgeting is a good thing for those stamina filled little bundles of activity.  Adults may find it annoying, but all that extra energy has to go somewhere. Silly putty, stress toys, and fidget spinners are all great tools for energetic kids.  And so much better than the alternative: kids in detention or time out, filled with anger because they are truly doing *nothing wrong*...

Encourage uniqueness!  Yes, certain things must be conformed to, such as laws, taxes, and the obligatory stiffbacked important meetings and such.  And yes, there is a time and place for everything.  But if for instance you allow tireless little Johnny to fidget now, when it is really not bothering anyone, he is more inclined to sit proper during those important circumstances where it is a must.

You can find many "societal norm" rules that we adhere to because that is just the way it's done if you start looking.  And you will find that so many of them were set up for the benefit of the powerful, with no regard to the health (mental or physical) or happiness of the people.  Which brings me to a good point...

<br>

**Question everything.**  

*Why* is this rule obligatory? Is it for a good reason?  What is the reason?  Who made that one silly rule, and what was their purpose?  Again, some "rules" are there for a damn good reason, but some are not.  And some are simply damaging.  It's interesting that there are so many sufferers of anxiety and depression, and the numbers are growing at an alarming rate.

<br>

<p><div class="pull-right">https://steemitimages.com/DQmYqXZWfupZCA4FkrvA8gWgfS3y3N9mBdZ5GTWpH5p9ju2/image.png</div>

What about you?  What are you doing because you are just "supposed to"?  One thing that angers me is when I hear women being shunned by her "loved ones" because she has not gotten married and had kids.  You know, some people just do not want children.  And some have not found someone worthy of their *life*- either because they do not want to settle for less than what will make them happy and just haven't found that special One yet, or because they just do not want to enter into a contractual obligation as they may feel a marriage is.  Who are they to judge?  If someone does not want children, why push them?  Same with marriage?  How is one human so supremely divine to have the authority to criticize and condemn another?  They do not have to live your life.  They do not have to suffer the effects of unwanted and made (under duress) decisions.

Never do something *they* want you to do.  Unless you are hurting someone or breaking laws never do anything less than what makes **you** happy.

Don't be a pineapple.  **Live an authentic life and encourage everyone to do the same**.  Our world will be a happier and more productive place <3

<br>
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vote details (59)
@abir2016 ·
you posted a great post.  this post is very helpful for me. thank you @arbitrarykitten. i resteemed and upvoted you post.
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@alexaventuria ·
$0.46
The term "Normal" in my eyes is a reflection of our conditioning, for we are all unique, and the term "normal/confirmity itself inevitably implies comparison and differences. No one is better or worse, more important or less important. We are all of the same One Light expressing itself in endless ways by means of each Soul. The Soul is the driving force behind everything, the thoughts merely at the effect. Our Soul knows of its Wholeness yet our thoughts don't, for thinking itself is an act of Separation, which means thoughts only create differences and problems. If everyone allowed for mental Silence instead of Ego-based thinking, these differences and problems would cease to exist and bring forth our similarities and mutual connection yet at the same time each Soul's unique gifts.

Thanks for your well-written words! :)
๐Ÿ‘  
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@arbitrarykitten ·
*If everyone allowed for mental Silence instead of Ego-based thinking, these differences and problems would cease to exist and bring forth our similarities and mutual connection* True story.

The Ego is a [dog that needs to be muzzled!](https://steemit.com/life/@arbitrarykitten/is-ego-getting-in-the-way-of-your-happiness)
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@conradt ·
$0.48
One thing that really bugs me with a lot of teachers (in my experience) will challenge me when I try come up with a new idea. They will often say 'thats just what we do here' and hope I will roll over as they have been there for 20 years and are 'superior'  to me.

Especially with younger childrn I dont think we need to put to many boundaries on what they can do (As educators we obviously need to keep them safe!) but putting to many restrictions on them can discourage them from being creative and learning in different ways.

We like to do things differently and not follow the norms.. We got married a couple of years ago and I decided to take my wifes surname, this is rare and I am seen as different. My friends thought it was strange but I questioned them and asked why woman always take the mans name and they didnt have a good answer.

Keep up the good work I love reading and sharing ideas
๐Ÿ‘  
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vote details (1)
@arbitrarykitten ·
*They will often say 'thats just what we do here'* when they don't even know *why* it's done that way, you absolutely need to question it!

*putting to many restrictions on them can discourage them from being creative and learning in different ways.* Exactly! There are three different learners- audio, visual and kinesthetic.  I am kin- I learn by doing. You can show me or tell me all day long, but I won't learn until I can actually *do* it.
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@conradt ·
Yeah I think maybe the best thing to ask is "what research is this based on?" - I think starting the discussion and challenging people is the best way to make changes for the better.

Yeah absolutely its amazing how unique everyone is and how different things work for different people. I think I am more of a audio/visual learner!
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@hhumaira ·
It is obviously an educative value.We can gather many experience from your blog.
Thanks 
@resteem & follow done.
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@arbitrarykitten ·
Thank you so much :)
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@lucylin ·
An excellent post, and definitely the ethos I see in teaching little people as the only way forward.

(Question everything......the same ethos is no longer carried out in further education, unfortunately . 
Empiricism,  logic, structured debate, conclusion, has been replaced by emotional rhetoric, and double think.)


>Never do something they want you to do. 

Exactly.

>.....or breaking laws never do anything less than what makes you happy.

....unless it's a silly law of course! lol.
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@millerkay ·
$0.57
Wow seriously you have said it rightly,  it's high time we started living our life the way we wanted not because we have been pushed by friends or family member.  One thing I will want us to know is that we will be responsible for any action or decision we made therefore we have to take sole responsibility of  our decisions
๐Ÿ‘  ,
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vote details (2)
@arbitrarykitten ·
Right. We have to live with each and every decision we choose.  Might as well choose a life that allows us to enjoy the repercussions of each decision :)
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@minnowsupport ·
<p>Congratulations!  This post has been upvoted from the communal account, @minnowsupport, by ArbitraryKitten from the Minnow Support Project. It's a witness project run by aggroed, ausbitbank, teamsteem, theprophet0, someguy123, neoxian, followbtcnews, and netuoso. The goal is to help Steemit grow by supporting Minnows.  Please find us at the <a href="https://discord.gg/HYj4yvw"> Peace, Abundance, and Liberty Network (PALnet) Discord Channel</a>.  It's a completely public and open space to all members of the Steemit community who voluntarily choose to be there.</p> <p>If you would like to delegate to the Minnow Support Project you can do so by clicking on the following links: <a href="https://v2.steemconnect.com/sign/delegateVestingShares?delegator=&amp;delegatee=minnowsupport&amp;vesting_shares=102530.639667%20VESTS">50SP</a>, <a href="https://v2.steemconnect.com/sign/delegateVestingShares?delegator=&amp;delegatee=minnowsupport&amp;vesting_shares=205303.639667%20VESTS">100SP</a>, <a href="https://v2.steemconnect.com/sign/delegateVestingShares?delegator=&amp;delegatee=minnowsupport&amp;vesting_shares=514303.639667%20VESTS">250SP</a>, <a href="https://v2.steemconnect.com/sign/delegateVestingShares?delegator=&amp;delegatee=minnowsupport&amp;vesting_shares=1025303.639667%20VESTS">500SP</a>, <a href="https://v2.steemconnect.com/sign/delegateVestingShares?delegator=&amp;delegatee=minnowsupport&amp;vesting_shares=2053030.639667%20VESTS">1000SP</a>, <a href="https://v2.steemconnect.com/sign/delegateVestingShares?delegator=&amp;delegatee=minnowsupport&amp;vesting_shares=10253030.639667%20VESTS">5000SP</a>. <br><strong>Be sure to leave at least 50SP undelegated on your account.</strong></p>
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@mumofmany ·
$0.55
I love the pineapple reference lol. Itโ€™s so true. My boys all have Autism and find it nearly impossible to sit still all day at their desks. We are very fortunate that our school accepts all students for who they are and doesnโ€™t try to make them all conform, something that just isnโ€™t going to happen with my boys. 
If only all schools were as understanding.
As for us adults, I completely agree again. Living your life to societyโ€™s expectations is insanity.
I have been with my partner for 14 years, we have six children and have no plans on getting married. So many of my friends are baffled when I tell them that we are not actually married. But in our eyes we donโ€™t need a piece of paper to validate our family. Same goes for any other person, live your life your way, not for anybody else. Your own true happiness depends on it!
Great post!
๐Ÿ‘  
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vote details (1)
@arbitrarykitten ·
You are so fortunate to have that school- don't you ever move! lol

I heard this a long time ago, it was originally cradled by some comedian, but I have since adopted it as my own ;) - A judge sentences you to life in prison, why get a "sentence" to stay with your partner?
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@mumofmany ·
Exactly, stay because you want to stay not because a piece of paper.
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@osasuj ·
Very insightful.  You can read some of my stuff at @osasuj.
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@arbitrarykitten ·
I'm glad you enjoyed it :)
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@sabihaa ·
follow upvote and resteemit has been done
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@arbitrarykitten ·
Thank you kindly :)
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@sbamsoneu ·
$0.30
>Some schools in Europe allow students with energy to stand and walk about in the back of the classroom while doing their work

I'm just hearing about this for the first time... I wanted to know, school who practices it, how do they concentrate in teaching others while people are moving around at the back... Don't u think is a form of distraction  4 both Student n d teacher?
๐Ÿ‘  
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vote details (1)
@arbitrarykitten ·
It actually improves learning. It is not a distraction as the children with an overabundance of energy can now move about while reading and studying, which helps them dispel such energy and now can concentrate on their schoolwork. It is good for the teachers as well as now they do not have to focus on handing demerits or detentions, nor is it a distraction for the other students in their seats because now the energetic ones have an outlet and are not passing notes and otherwise getting into trouble :)  It's a Win Win all the way around.  If you google it you can find a number of schools that have been using it for years.  I've heard rumors of a few in America adopting the practice as well...
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@sbamsoneu ·
Ok... Thanks for d information. I just google it and I notice is been existing for a very long time.
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@sharifulislamm ·
That is very good logic by Pineapples.This blog is very informative.I attentively read it.I appreciate you thinking.
keep it up
๐Ÿ‘  
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vote details (1)
@arbitrarykitten ·
I am so happy to be inspirational <3 Thank you :)
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@sistem ·
$0.59
I draw a lot of sense from you post as you have made excellent points here. You sound like either a teacher of a mother of many kids coz you seen to know and understand children very well.

One aspect of our existence that has been very subjective is out educational system. The educational system tends to use one yardstick to judge everyone forgetting the that there is something like being unique. The educational system gathers the fish, snake, monkey , elephant , horse and so many animals and subject them all to climbing a tree...hows that gonna work? 

Conformity is really bad and being subjected to confirm to a certaim way of life by others is even worse because you get to live a lie. You get to live an unsatisfied life.

Little Wonder some students quit school to pursue their passion . Little Wonder some students graduate , duno their certificates with their parents and run off to do that which their heart yearns for. 

### no one deserves to be subjected to doing anything he doesn't want to do...unless it is bound by Law
๐Ÿ‘  ,
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vote details (2)
@arbitrarykitten ·
I teach a writing class for 4th graders, coach youth boxing, and am a mom of three boys :)

You are absolutely correct in all you have said.  I love this *The educational system gathers the fish, snake, monkey , elephant , horse and so many animals and subject them all to climbing a tree* So true!
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@stokjockey ·
I like Pineapples, even on Pizza.........................@arbitrarykitten
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@arbitrarykitten ·
Oh I adore pineapples on pizza too!
๐Ÿ‘  
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