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![image.png](https://files.peakd.com/file/peakd-hive/b0s/23wBg95F7ZYeT1QyRxPz2UQ8B4ftEGA8QEAE5pty3Yhqf5rYMdwTWWuoUVumWWcoqVCB6.png)

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Have you ever done something you felt wasn't wrong, but then all of a sudden you start to doubt yourself. 

"what if you're wrong?" I keep telling myself

This happened to me recently. I looked deeper into something. Something that I wanted to be wrong so badly. I was provided with evidence upon evidence, but I didn't want to believe. I kept on creating excuses in my head

"maybe this, or maybe that."

I was looking for every possible opportunity to not be correct, but then more and more things pointing to what I didn't want to be true surfaced. Of course I couldn't stop my search, my own curiosity would consume me. I had to look deeper, try and be completely sure I am not making a mistake. And finally I found it, that critical thing. That thing that has only a one in a million chance. Coupled with the other little things I'd been creating excuses for. I couldn't deny it any longer. I couldn't even describe how I felt,I just know that I didn't feel good. 


"It can't be true" I told myself. But everything kept pointing In that direction. 


![AmRc67RgYaWTamZtjiRVK9pxDgRdg2RtnXmG5dbeGuzK3WNfkBktwpfahjXgofN7JmiYvtMwpCEYq5gpJaUVVFNrBJdVGTpU4dgh5N2o7i9HeCQVUiAtBV5tCCFFT4M5GWvAVab7P6nEnDdBkVcYxvn3ztE1PhNv.webp](https://files.peakd.com/file/peakd-hive/b0s/23tbREoadfKSsGzyuSnsFLq1mrjfW2mLAeRPZ5DB4jRPgi9K1U3x6qGyEsbyhtyT5ow7G.webp)

My head started recalling slight things from the past, and in some ways it started making a little sense. Little things that seemed coincidental, accidental, all aligning, and in that moment I felt like a fool.

"How could I not notice these things?" 

The feeling came to me from time to time, but I always just shoved it back because I thought it was impossible. All it took was a little push. A small subtle push from a friend. 


It's funny, it looked impossible when I first thought of it, but when I intentionally looked at it really close I realized how almost blatant it really is. All you need to do is to have a look in the right direction. 


![AmRc67RgYaWTamZtjiRVK9pxDgRdg2RtnXmG5dbeGuzK3WNfkBktwpfahjXgofN7JmiYvtMwpCEYq5gpJaUVVFNrBJdVGTpU4dgh5N2o7i9HeCQVUiAtBV5tCCFFT4M5GWvAVab7P6nEnDdBkVcYxvn3ztE1PhNv.webp](https://files.peakd.com/file/peakd-hive/b0s/23tbREoadfKSsGzyuSnsFLq1mrjfW2mLAeRPZ5DB4jRPgi9K1U3x6qGyEsbyhtyT5ow7G.webp)


I decide not to just conclude, I needed to talk, clear this doubt once and for all. Whatever happened I was willing to accept. In the end it proved futile. Everything went up in smoke. I didn't get the answers I thought I'd get, I was met with something else instead. Something I didn't want to happen. I was left with no choice but to conclude my discovery was true. 


![AmRc67RgYaWTamZtjiRVK9pxDgRdg2RtnXmG5dbeGuzK3WNfkBktwpfahjXgofN7JmiYvtMwpCEYq5gpJaUVVFNrBJdVGTpU4dgh5N2o7i9HeCQVUiAtBV5tCCFFT4M5GWvAVab7P6nEnDdBkVcYxvn3ztE1PhNv.webp](https://files.peakd.com/file/peakd-hive/b0s/23tbREoadfKSsGzyuSnsFLq1mrjfW2mLAeRPZ5DB4jRPgi9K1U3x6qGyEsbyhtyT5ow7G.webp)

I look back on things and each time I feel I am correct, but then there's always that one percent chance, that one percent chance that I am wrong and it's all a coincidence. What if I am wrong? But I am unable to bank on that one percent chance. I wanted the one percent chance to be the truth so badly, but right now I'm not even sure I do anymore. It's probably all for the best. 




![AmRc67RgYaWTamZtjiRVK9pxDgRdg2RtnXmG5dbeGuzK3WNfkBktwpfahjXgofN7JmiYvtMwpCEYq5gpJaUVVFNrBJdVGTpU4dgh5N2o7i9HeCQVUiAtBV5tCCFFT4M5GWvAVab7P6nEnDdBkVcYxvn3ztE1PhNv.webp](https://files.peakd.com/file/peakd-hive/b0s/23tbREoadfKSsGzyuSnsFLq1mrjfW2mLAeRPZ5DB4jRPgi9K1U3x6qGyEsbyhtyT5ow7G.webp)


<sub>*[Cover image by Lucas Kapla from Unsplash](https://unsplash.com/photos/wq1BodC0TS8)*</sub>