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Having children is a blessing, but also a great challenge for the parents - one of the most important points in educating children is unity. Both parents must meet the child as a unit in terms of education in general and especially in terms of rules and limits. That's not always easy.

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Every human being has a different childhood, a different life story. No wonder there are different views on education. In a childless partnership, this does not matter much, but after the first child's birth, people resort to what they know from their own childhood or sometimes have exactly the opposite views. As a result, educational models can collide, which do not match. The parents are now asked to find a common line so that their child receives a uniform and harmonious education.


# Different educational ideas of the parents
 The education that a child has experienced in the first years, shapes it strongly. The values ​​and rules conveyed in early childhood are often rarely questioned, variants are ignored. This often leads to different views in many crucial areas:

+ When does the child have to go to bed?
+ How important are order and cleanliness?
+ How much courtesy must a child be educated?
+ How important is help in the household?
+  How important are high marks in school?

These are but a few examples of the points at which parental ideas can differ greatly. If you and your partner notice that education is very different, you should respond early and, if possible, find a consistent line within the first two years of your child's life. Otherwise, the effect quickly arises that the child becomes confused on the one hand and, on the other, also uses the disagreement between the parents for their own purposes.


# Partnership conflict resolution in education
 To clarify different educational concepts and bring to a common denominator, only the conversation helps. This should take place in a calm atmosphere, if possible before real conflicts and issues arise. Be aware that this is not about competition, but about working together to harmoniously educate your child. The sooner you start with it, the easier it will be.

Choose a time for the conversation where you are quiet. Maybe if your child is having a nap or is already in bed in the evening. If possible, do not answer the phone.

Set a duration beforehand and do not exceed this time. More than one and a half hours of intensive discussions are usually not useful.
In advance, select a topic that you want to talk about together. This could be, for example, the bedtime or even dealing with certain rules. Several topics per conversation are possible, but you should make sure that one topic after another is processed.

Use current events as examples or as a basis for a specific topic.
Focus more on problem solving than on root cause research and blaming.

If you find that you can not find consensus on your own, do not hesitate to seek help. This can be a parenting center or even the kindergarten teacher or a teacher.




# What is it really about?
 It often turns out in such conversations that it is not really about parenting and child welfare, but that conflicts in the partnership spill over into the educational issues. These conflicts must be resolved on another "battlefield". Strive to focus on your child and stay focused. All too easily, children become the plaything in the parental relationship, without their parents noticing. This situation can be the same for parents who live together and have a happy relationship, as with separated couples.

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