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###### [Image source](https://www.pexels.com/photo/nativity-painting-of-people-inside-a-dome-159862/)
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I always win fights with my fiancée -

NOT.

I never liked arguing - its a HUGGGE waste of time and it always ends with “who’s-gonna-apologize-first”.

I think this is usual in any relationship.

*Guy does something. *
*Girl thinks it's wrong / doesn't like it. *
*Guy doesn't agree. *
*Girl drags it out for a fight.*

Fight mode ON.

https://media.giphy.com/media/xBAreNGk5DapO/giphy.gif
###### ([Source](https://giphy.com/gifs/cat-dog-fighting-xBAreNGk5DapO/))
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# The Eureka Moment

It wasn’t until early last year when I discovered that there are guys who as calm as Hindu cows when “fighting” with their girlfriends. They are unphased yet empathetic. Don’t let their women’s piercing words get to them. They managed to not get angry and solve it within a blip.

Apparently, their way to work like this revolved around the same idea:

## “You can’t control what happens to you, but you can control how you respond.”

MINDBLOWN. 

https://media.giphy.com/media/Um3ljJl8jrnHy/giphy.gif
###### ([Source](https://giphy.com/gifs/earth-mindblown-kepler-Um3ljJl8jrnHy/))
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All my life I thought the automatic response to things shouldn’t be questioned.

*“It is the antagonizers fault after all,”* I thought.

This takes the notion of **“I am responsible for everything that happens in my life”** to a whole new level. Not just my actions and my external circumstances, but also my reactions.

So the next time your girlfriend picks a fight, always know you can pick the response you want. You can either:
1. Fight! (not suggested)
2. Think about how wasteful the fight will be and decide to be calm the whole time and think: “She is only saying that cause she’s angry. Whenever she’s not angry, she doesn’t exaggerate or talk sh*t all the time.”

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# What Do You Call This Ancient Philosophy?

Unsurprisingly, this system of choosing your response ain’t brand new. This ain’t P90X-for-Your-Mind yo.

In fact, it’s 2000 years old! And it is called **Stoicism.**

Hence the label “stoic” for whoever who appears to be unemotional about things / as Google would define it:

> “A person who can endure pain or hardship without showing their feelings or complaining.”

So the next time you are about to quarrel or get your feelings hurt, think -

“You can’t offend me. Only I can allow myself to be offended.”

https://media.giphy.com/media/eyymieQo0U3fi/giphy.gif
###### ([Source](https://giphy.com/gifs/hetalia-life-challenge-eyymieQo0U3fi/)) Keep calm and carry on!

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