As a person here in america I have also always been one that gives. Now I have found myself in need. I really do not want to ask for help and when push comes to shove I find it very hard to ask. So doing without has become my new life.  Maybe it is the way i ask for what I think I need. For what I receive is never what I have asked for. Confusing does not even cover it. I was turned on to steemit to help myself with the help of others whom may like what I have to say.

There's this guy here by where I work.  We call him "shakey".   This man will sit out with a WAD of money (even if it was $1 bills, there would have to be at least 150 in there) and count it and still ask for money.  He never pays for anything because the side deli always gives him food and coffee.   I call him the richest man in Manhattan lol

I agree - it is a difficult situation - I always feel so sorry for all people that must stay on the street but you do get those ones that feel it is their rigtht to just get more and more and will even moan if you do not give them enough.  I also strongly believe that charity begins at home and even though I would love to help everybody, I must also look after my family.

Civilization is a man made thing. Either you support it or you don't. If you do. Then give! Otherwise go live in the jungle or mountains. I always give the needy. Most beggars are messed up by their peers and family. We need to take responsibility for out fallen heroes. We don't need religion to guide our feelings. It's the feeling that giving, gives you as a person, regardless if you think its a scam or not. Do you give money to the church?

I helped a Guy by letting him in , to do some weeding, Had to go out, Wife gave him a full Days pay , some clothing , soap and towel , threw my Mag wheels for my car over the side fence, My Wife spotted him walking down the street with 2 wheels on his head! Good thing I was not there as I would have attempted to do the headless chicken routine on him.

We had someone in our church parking lot this morning holding a sign with his wife and two children.  They did not come in for the service, but we walked outside and asked them to join us for our potluck dinner after the service, and they did.

I give them what most people want, money! A common counter argument is why give them money when they will likely misuse it? my response is simple and firm. They have the right to make choices, who put me in a pedestal to play a father role just because I have the money?  Whatever the money is used for, it is not my business and if you look at the big picture, you will see that everything has a life cycle, including "socially inappropriate behavior". Our financial contributions can help them get to the place where they finally realize enough is enough. 
By rationing the money , you are increasing the desire and delaying the healing - these are  my two cents derived from direct experiences  for over two decades. I lost a girlfriend because I invited a few old homeless friends for Thanks-giving dinner. It was a double win and never looked back.

I'd have to agree with your husband.  I'm willing to help those less fortunate. You just don't know whether they are really down and out or just taking in the spoils from you.  What I've done is offer to buy them food or get them a water. I never give money as you dont know what they will use it for. More than likely it will be used for drugs or alcohol.

I would like to tell you one story. 
In my country there are a lot really poor people and kids often beg for money on streets. My strategy was if I have I give, but one occurance changed my view five years ago. In summer 2012th one kid came to me on the street and ask for food. I took my wallet to give some money but it told me every panny it has ti give to "olders". On the other hand, if it gets some food, it can eat it.
 So, I decides two things: 
1. I will always give food. 
2. I will give 10% of my profit to charity which take care on poor kids. 
Consider following me and upvoting blog posts. I will transfer part of my money to those in need.

A great question! I have learned to give something they can just have there and then.. MAybe give some food, or whatever.. even just a bit of your time to have a chat.. Giving money is not the best way to help in many cases and often breeds the wrong kind of behaviour..

I will give them something....An opportunity or a job to help themselves.

People don't learn from hand outs, it just hurts them in the long run.

This is such a tough situation, but in general, because there are so many scammers, I think it's usually best to donate to local charitable and/or church groups.  Then perhaps if someone asks for money, you can instead give them a business card/flyer for the local food bank or shelter.  That way, if they are truly in need, they can receive more consistent help as many such charitable groups also offer referrals for job training or any additional support, such as rehab, counseling, or medical care the person may need.  
I think this is generally a safer route to go also, especially for women.  We have to be careful that our compassion isn't used against us.

Here in the Netherlands people have it quite good that there should not be any beggers. Bur there are some beggers, and often when they ask money for food i also give them food. Very often they are so ungrateful, not being happy i give them food. So if i give, it would be food or clothes. If they are not happy, it means they want to buy beer or drugs. They choose to have a life as a begger. It would be a bit different when looking at African or Asian countries where the economy is less good as in Western countries.

It is difficult to draw a line. It is normally the same people standing at certain robots, if you do give something, then they tend to wait for you the next day, that annoys me. The car guards, if they help me I will give them something, but not if they only show me 'how to drive'

Reminds me of a little boy I gave money to here in Kenya and he gave it back to me saying he couldn't take it, it was too little and he wanted more! I was shocked to say the least.  Made me think twice about giving ever since.

If i knew how to code html i forsure wuldnt be homeless haha

Hey friend! Also from South Africa. :-)

Car guards I have a lot of respect for. They stand out there for extended periods of time, rain or shine. What perturbs me is that when you return they don't usually know which car is yours.

However, they are watching over their segment per say, so I guess that aint bad.

To give or not to give? For me personally, if I have change on me ( I never carry cash on me ), I'll give. If I have food, I'll give.

But give so that no one sees you. That's my belief. Give freely, without any self glorification or to receive any praise. Just remember, that could be you.

Upvoted my friend. & followed

this is great work your really generating good engagement congrats

Very good article. I personally give to beggars regularly, but if I see a physically fit guy, I tell him to work. A man has no excuse in my country, because even if the wages are very low (by American standards it's dismal), they can always find odd jobs to do.

Resteemed to 8200+ followers. :)

totally review myself in your words! 
the same happened to me! normally I always help everybody in what I can!...
but, there was one time, that one friend of mine saw one of the local beggars at the bank (banking his daily earnings), and the same happened! he told to the cashier that he fells sorry for him and so, until the cashier told him that this person has more $ in the bank than both of us together!
so now is a even more tough decision to make, when I see someone begging! :/
got a new follower + upvoted + resteemed

bigbear, this is something that I struggle with too. I want to give to everyone in need. Even if I don't have anything to give I think about it all day, and all I can do is pray for the person, which I believe is more valuable than any material object. 

There's an account where Peter encountered a person in need, and here is what he said:

Then Peter said, Silver and gold have I none; but such as I have I give I thee: In the name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth rise up and walk. Acts 3:6 

Which is more than silver and gold because the man could walk and work, and not just receive temporary help. 

I've never said that, "be healed in the name of Jesus of Nazareth," to another person. Peter was very mature in the Lord when he spoke this, there couldn't have been any doubt at all that God would heal the man.

I'm praying that my faith will be strengthened. I do tell people when I'm praying for them, but Peter, He just said, "I don't have any silver or God," but what I have (great faith,) In the name of Jesus, I give to you, Arise and Walk"

Jesus said if we have faith the size of a mustardseed, we can move mountains.

Your post really gave me something to pray about and seek out in Christ.

I've had two separate occasions where someone in need really affected me, I believe it had to do with the verse below. 

Hebrews 13:2 Be not forgetful to entertain strangers: for thereby some have entertained angels unawares.

I think I'll try to post an article on the above verse today.

I've also had times where I was going to give to someone, and this feeling came over me to not do it.

God knows what is going on in a person's life, right down to the deepest heart issues. 

What I need to do more often is ask Him to abide with me and show me what to do in these kinds of situations.

This was very edifying for me. Thank you bigbear

This is a very tough question that requires lots of thought.  Go with your gut instincts.  Never consider it judging.  Sometimes you know if someone really is begging for food or fueling their substance abuse.

@ bigbear, This is something I struggle with on a daily basis as well. I have however decided to give to the church and recognized chrarity organisations with the hope that the monies are spent wisely!

We are seciety of ignorance.
It cretical mass of homeless people derect result of DRUGS .Start in kindergarden with mood altering substances. This people is product of madical pharmasutical military cartel.

What an article, thanks a lot My Lady. Me as well learned it hardway that don't always give, specially money.
Giving is part of life, and if you are kind you can't stop yourself doing it one or the other way. We have to give but use our knowledge as you used it when you handed in bread to the begger. I don't give money to anybody until I am certain that this will go for a good cause.

In my religion it is taught that if you gave someone money and he/she bought a gun or knife with it and injure or kill someone you are the same responsible. If he or she do drugs with that money you are also involve in that. So Give but use my knowledge how to and to whom!

Upvoted and resteemed. Hope you can collect a fair amount to help them xx

Its so sad and funny. You dont have to stop giving. Let karma deal with those who decieve you to get money.

this is a great question realy hook me. upped and followed! :)

The Bible also says to be a good steward with what you have. Ask God what to do and even if the man is buying dope, and you dont know, give to him. Be smart though like others said. Its best to go a step further and provide them with what they actually need and not "just money".

Hi bigbear as an ex South African I feel your frustration. There will always be honest and dishonest people out there. There are so many different angles to cover/think about when dealing with such situations. Okay so the guy has thousands in his bank account and he could well be a professional beggar but a few thousand doesn't go very far in South Africa. We are all guilty of making assumptions about others. Maybe he is saving up for something important or in case of an emergency. At least he is responsible by having a bank account. I'm sure begging must be a sole destroying thing to do. Maybe just give what you can afford to make yourself feel better and forget about the rest. I know it is tough to do. Maybe tactfully ask him a question regarding you witnessing him banking quite a bit of money and see his reaction. If he is rude about it then stop helping him. Maybe he will give you a perfectly logical explanation which will be to your liking. As far as the fool who claimed to be hungry but just wanted money he made your choice easy which made you decision easier. Fortunately here in Europe the situation is far simpler than in South Africa. Handouts are here a plenty so I refuse to give to those who are too lazy to budget. I do however give to a select few as I am fortunate to have extra to give. I will rather however give direct than to some charities who I feel are dodgy organizations who support themselves first and then give the leftovers to the those who require support. I will be upvoting your post shortly bigbear.

Interesting! There was a student at Harvard in the 70's working on his Masters in Sociology. He did his thesis on panhandling (begging)... One day he would go out dressed as a bum, the next in a 3 piece suit, or even a priest and beg. The guy in the 3 piece suit was given bills, of up to $20. The bum got change. 

Personally, nobody ever gave me anything, I either had to work for it or steal. I keep my money unless it's for someone in an emergency.

I personally go with my gut feeling. If you seem genuinely in need, I will give what I can. However, if I get the feeling that you are just trying to get easy money I would politely smile and say I'm sorry I cannot help you today. There is no definite answer to this question in my opinion but it definitely makes for an interesting discussion

Give of course :)

loved it. Nice read made me think. Thank you

Bigbear I understand how you feel sometimes it just get too much for me, it does not matter where you are there is someone asking you for money. And some of them get real angry if you do not give them something, I always try to rely on the "feeling" I get if I must give or not to the person asking. I have a small heart and feel sorry for them easily so I sometimes give even if I can not.