For the last 3 years my life has been somewhat a pit of despair and self loathing. I've struggled with some mental health issues, namely depression and anxiety, as well as some physical health issues(though I've recently discovered they may be attributed to the mental health ones)

The day before New years I quit smoking weed. Now I don't think weed is bad, quite the opposite. I think it is an incredible substance that has many  valuable uses. However in my case I abused it and it began to have a detrimental effect on my life. At first it really helped with my depression and anxiety, it kept me calm helped me to sleep and eat and all around made my demeanor better. It was however costing me alot of money and in turn making me financially stressed. I also was using it as a crutch to prop myself up rather than fixing the underlying issues within myself.

### well no more.

I have now been sober for 2 weeks as of today. The first few days were rough but since then it has been fairly easy. I know a lot of people that say weed isn't addictive and I suppose it doesn't fit into the medical definition of addictive. It is however habit forming and as such can become psychologically addictive. Our brains and bodies are so incredibly complex and psychological issues can manifest themselves in a physical form so I feel like saying it isn't addictive is a little ignorant.

Aside from that I am trying to force myself to enjoy going to work and just general day to day things. I used to be bored all the time and hate going to work. Now I'm determined to get my business off the ground and to work as much as possible in my current job to be able to do that.
I make good money but i am not fiscally responsible in the slightest. I also enjoy sharing my wealth with those around me. Maybe I'm a fucking communist.

On a separate note I have also lost 12kg since new years. Some people will tell me that isnt healthy or sustainable but I don't need it to be sustainable. I've never been what you would call fat or overweight but I did want to lose a little fat and add some muscle. Step 1 lose the excess fat seems to of been a success.

![](https://cdn.steemitimages.com/DQmS3Afck1xVLZMxYrZwqhTuBUPfNjtGe1T9coeWFBTcjky/image.png)


step 2. Get fucking jackedddddddd. lel

Basically the first week of this change has been tough but this last week has been much better and I am actually starting to feel like some progress has been made. I am under no illusions that this will be a long and difficult path but I think I am finally ready to face the world and be the best I possibly can.