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>*“So our building of the visible Church becomes much like any natural business function, using natural means and natural motives.”* <BR>[**- Francis Schaeffer**](https://www.azquotes.com/quote/535936)
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<center><H3>Another Personal Exodus</H3><H6>by Duncan Cary Palmer<BR>*First in a series chronicling what happened.*</H6></center>
<H3>I Left Our Church Earlier This Year.</H3>
My departure was abrupt, taking even me quite by surprise.
What happened?
I thought everything was wonderful, until I apparently crossed some sort of line. I was quite shocked when the primary preaching elder publicly chastised me for posting in an online men's group [an article](https://peakd.com/christianity/@creatr/this-is-not-that-a-comment-on-romans-13) that expressed opinions *"undermining of us and the standards of the church."*
I'll be the first to admit to being somewhat of a maverick, but this took me completely by surprise.
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<center>
[](https://hive.blog/a/@creatr/b)<H6>A Personal Exodus [(*source*)](https://unsplash.com/photos/red-exit-signage-kFOTEAm6QuY)</H6>
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### Had the preacher approached me [*privately,*](https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Matthew+18%3A15&version=LSB)
I would have immediately taken [the article link](https://peakd.com/christianity/@creatr/this-is-not-that-a-comment-on-romans-13) off of the Men's Forum anyway, as [I strongly believe in complying](https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Hebrews+13%3A17&version=JUB)—to [the extent possible](https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Romans+14%3A23&version=LSB)—with church leadership.
Faced with sudden censure, and distressed because I had been publicly accused without any prior [private admonishing,](https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Matthew+18%3A15&version=LSB) I scheduled a private meeting with the elder who had accosted me. I then wrote him the following letter *privately* in preparation for that meeting:
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***Dear Pastor,***
Because I'm poor at extemporaneous discussion and tend to forget important points, I'm responding to your recent allegations *in writing.* When we meet face to face, I'll gladly clarify and answer any questions you may have after reading this.
Knowing you to be a champion of Biblical law and justice gives me confidence (as [Paul had before Agrippa](https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Acts+26%3A1-3&version=LSB)) that you will hear and understand my defense. I pray we might reach [mutual understanding,](https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Romans+12%3A16&version=LSB) be [at peace](https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Romans+12%3A18&version=LSB) with one another, and continue [working together](https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Hebrews+10%3A24&version=LSB) as we have until now.
You texted me (and the elders) these remarks:
> *Duncan, stop using Signal to undermine the Elders and our standards.*<BR>
> *We have been patient with you and yet you will not stop.*<BR>
> *Duncan, your Romans 13 position is fine for you to hold privately, but we are not in agreement and your constant use of our meetings and our electronic forums to propagate it is undermining of us and the standards of the church.*<BR>
> *You have even had private meetings with church members and officers to try to promote it. Stop.*<BR>
> *If you don't relent you are at risk of being held to be schismatic and contemptuous of our leadership.*<BR>
> *There are so many things we love about you that it pains me to have to speak this abruptly to you, but you have not taken our softer and more polite rebukes.*<BR>
> *It's old and constitutes a long train of abuses.*
Brother, these **abrupt, public accusations** pain and sadden me. I take [Hebrews 13:17](https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Hebrews+13%3A17&version=JUB) very seriously, and I am sorry to learn I have made your work a burden. You needn't have made a *public demand;* I would have deleted [the article](https://peakd.com/christianity/@creatr/this-is-not-that-a-comment-on-romans-13) *immediately* had you messaged me [*privately.*](https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Matthew+18%3A15&version=LSB)
You say I've ignored *"softer and more polite rebukes."*
**What rebukes?** Have you ever requested that I stop expressing my opinion? Before today, you have done no more than express disagreement. And though you say we are not in agreement, *we actually agree **strongly*** about ***most*** doctrine and practice. Yes, there are a few obvious differences in our understanding of Scripture, but I have *never* misrepresented you as agreeing with my divergent views. Our strategies may differ, but our purpose and goals are identical; the advancement of King Jesus' Crown rights and his Kingdom Rule.
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<center>
[](https://hive.blog/a/@creatr/b)<H6>Silenced in the Pews? [(*source*)](https://unsplash.com/photos/black-and-white-book-on-brown-wooden-shelf-OoaoPYz-E3M)</H6>
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From its inception, I assumed the **Men's Internet Group** to be an *open forum.* Usually when I express an opinion, [share an article,](https://peakd.com/christianity/@creatr/this-is-not-that-a-comment-on-romans-13) Scripture, or bit of history online, I'm simply ignored. Rarely do I recall a response with corrective Scripture, logical rebuttal, or even so much as a question. This is the first time any church leader has actively "cancelled" me.
Scripture requires us to ***"Preach the word; be ready in season and out of season; reprove, rebuke, and exhort, with complete patience and teaching."*** ([2 Timothy 4:2](https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=2+Timothy+4%3A2&version=ESV)) I have no memory of being "reproved" or "rebuked" or "exhorted"—publicly or privately—for expressing my views. I *do* recall being swiftly disagreed with, summarily dismissed, and occasionally belittled. I try not to react to slights, choosing to [overlook them](https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Proverbs+19%3A11&version=LSB) in love without taking offense.
Can you really believe that [expressing a *difference of opinion*](https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=2+Timothy+2%3A23-26&version=LSB) about Scripture or systematic theology is tantamount to *undermining* your position or your authority? I have never been *"contemptuous of (y)our leadership."* I have, rather, always [*spoken highly* of you,](https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Romans+12%3A10&version=LSB) strongly supporting you and our *ecclesia* in my every conversation with *everyone.* I have participated in evangelism, campus visits, pro-life activities, and school board meetings. I organized and promoted our church at our city Street Faire, I've supported homeschoolers, and I have often served the church's physical needs with my skills and labor, and have also sought to bless and encourage and aid individual members in as many ways as I have found opportunity.
**Do not my actions speak strongly enough?** I know you have enemies, but *I am **not** one of them.*
Do *"church standards"* trump **Scripture**? I live entirely [***by this standard.***](https://www.amazon.com/dp/B08G3W978K) I have only and always solicited Biblical and logical responses to the beliefs I espouse, verbally and in writing. It is *hurtful* to be told that I have been *abusive,* much less guilty of *"a long train of abuses."*
As to meeting with others; are we not a fellowship, a community? These are all my brothers and sisters in Jesus. [Colossians 3:16](https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Colossians+3%3A16&version=ESV) admonishes me to let Christ's word live in me in all its richness, ***"teaching and admonishing one another"*** with what I learn from it. *All* my interactions with church members and officers are an expression of my obedience to the "one-another" Scriptures (please see the APPENDIX below).
Have church members or officers complained about me? Has anyone said I've led them astray, much less that they *accept* my viewpoints? My passion is to [rightly divide the Word of Truth](https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=2+Timothy+2%3A15&version=LSB) as the preeminent guide for my life and practice, and to [sharpen and be sharpened](https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Proverbs+27%3A17&version=LSB) by every interaction with my brothers. I listen to sermons as well as to each brother, and I [search the Scriptures daily](https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Acts+17%3A11&version=LSB) to evaluate the truth of what I hear.
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<center>
[](https://hive.blog/a/@creatr/b)<H6>Excellent Preaching, but *Management?* [(*source*)](https://unsplash.com/photos/man-standing-near-podium-XSDTr93bhBo)</H6>
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*Never* have I attempted to turn anyone away from our church, or to cause any *"schism"* in our fellowship. I have always invited, encouraged, and sought to befriend and build up every member and visitor, always encouraging *participation in* and *support of* our community. I've even reached out to several who have left our church for one reason or another.
Pastor, you recently posted this in the **Men's Internet Group**:
*"Remember, this is the Forum for our 70 Mighty Men to connect, encourage and cooperate."*
Brother, please hear this appeal:
Suppressing discussion (*except for heresy, obscenity, foolishness, and coarse joking ([Ephesians 5:4](https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Ephesians+5%3A4&version=ESV))*) will not advance your purpose. When the leaders in [Acts 5](https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Acts+5%3A17-42&version=ESV) tried to cancel the disciples, it gained them nothing. I thought we were to be like **The School of [Tyrannus](https://www.gotquestions.org/Tyrannus-in-the-Bible.html)**? Wise leadership encourages discussion and Biblical debate; you cannot raise up ***"Mighty Men"*** in a nursery school setting.
**Summarizing my defense:** I have never disrupted a formal meeting with my personal opinions. In *informal* forums (the **Online Men's Group**, our 2023 **Sunday Night Meetings**, and our **Home Fellowship Groups**), I have expressed *opinions* by question and comment, believing they were "open forums" with everyone encouraged to participate.
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<center>
[](https://hive.blog/a/@creatr/b)<H6>Silenced *Everywhere* [(*source*)](https://unsplash.com/photos/grayscale-photo-of-person-wearing-white-and-black-hat-jhHrcjVNAp8)</H6>
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I believe that (*with the few exceptions previously noted*) prior restraint of discussion subject matter is unsupported by Biblical history, not worthy of [the example given us by the apostle Paul,](https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Acts+15%3A1-2&version=LSB) and utterly counterproductive of growing Biblically strong ***"Mighty Men."*** If our church's informal gatherings are ***not*** to be open forums, **please publish** a policy statement explicitly defining rules applicable to *everyone*.
Finally, I do not believe [the consistory has jurisdiction](https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Matthew+20%3A25%E2%80%9328&version=LSB) to regulate private conversations. If a complaint about my behavior is brought to you, the appropriate Biblical response must be to inquire whether the complainant has already addressed me privately, and—if not—to instruct them to come to me first, prior to the consistory taking any action against me. Do you understand God's law in some other way?
Thank you for reading and considering this. I look forward a face to face discussion at your earliest convenience.
Blessings,
***-Duncan***
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[](https://hive.blog/a/@creatr/b)<H6>"One Anothers" in the New Testament </H6>
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Thus ends my initial defense
### Upcoming in this series,
I'll provide recollections of my subsequent in-person meeting with this leader. I'll also reflect on how and why I ultimately decided to depart, my personal *"checkered past"* of conflicts and Exoduses from other churches, and some thoughts on what the church *ought* to be and what I am now looking toward.
Meanwhile, please pray for this congregation and their leadership. Please also pray for wisdom for me as I seek to advance Jesus' Kingdom *after* this separation.
<center>[**Next** *in this series*]()</center>
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<center><H1>~*FIN*~</H1></center>
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<center>
[](https://hive.blog/a/@creatr/b)<H6>Scripture or Tradition? [(*source*)](https://unsplash.com/photos/open-pocket-bible-on-green-surface-UIib0bAvWfs)</H6>
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<center><H6>***NOTE:*** Don't miss the enlightening [***hyperlinks***](https://hive.blog/a/@creatr/b) in my posts.<BR>*IMAGES* are my own, open source, by permission, or [fair use.](https://fairuse.stanford.edu/overview/fair-use/what-is-fair-use/)</H6></center>
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<center>**For *much* more from @creatr, click the library image:**
[](https://hive.blog/a/@creatr/b)</center>
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