<center>https://www.steemimg.com/images/2016/10/11/Logo193060.jpg
Authored by @cryptoctopus</center>

I believe most of us have no clue what we want to do with our lives. Even after we finish school. Even after we get a job. Even after we’re making money. Am I wrong?

Between ages 18 and 25, I changed career aspirations more often than I changed my underwear. And even after I kind of defined what was the lifestyle I was after, it wasn’t until I was 29 that I clearly defined what I wanted for my life.

**The first question we must tackle is why would having a purpose in life be important in the first place?**

 Most article out there are overly simplistic but [this article from Psychology Today](https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/curious/201502/what-do-scientists-know-about-finding-purpose-in-life) really go into the details of the impact of purpose in one's life. I highly suggest reading it but the crux of the article is the diagram below showing the influence on one's purpose in his life.

<center>https://www.steemimg.com/images/2016/10/13/purpose06c91.png
For full explanation of this diagram read [this article from Psychology Today](https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/curious/201502/what-do-scientists-know-about-finding-purpose-in-life)</center>



## The Pain of Not Knowing...

For men, **the feeling of not knowing our deepest purpose in life is painful**. We can numb it away with video games, alcohol or drugs but when the distractions goes away and we finally face the silence...it's there, like a splinter in our mind. 

>“Without a conscious life purpose a man is totally lost, drifting, adapting to events rather than creating events. Without knowing his life purpose a man lives a weakened, impotent existence…”
– David Deida 

The truth is that our thoughts and desires pushes us in multiple direction simultaneously...it jumps here and there like a monkey. Without a **clear purpose in life** all that energy is wasted wandering from thoughts to thoughts, from desires to desires. It's like being a ship without a rudder.

Once you know your purpose, it becomes the guiding principle of your life, your true north...it defines what you'll study in school, where you will chose to live, who you connect with and even what you do with many of your vacations and weekends. 

Steemit itself wouldn't be here without the purpose of someone we all know around here:

> My mission in life is to find free market solutions to secure life, liberty, and property for all.
@dantheman

https://www.steemimg.com/images/2016/10/12/ideacd11f.jpg

# Questions Are The Answer

When you are ready, take a piece of paper and a pen. [Writing has a powerful effect on the mind](http://lifehacker.com/the-psychological-benefits-of-writing-regularly-1783693547) and you'll be happy later on to look back on it and reflect. 

**Now if you do not know your purpose in life, your purpose should be to find it.** Sit with the pain of not knowing and do not numb it. The more you can embrace this process, the easier it will be for you to discover the purpose you already have inside of you. 

### Question #1 - What unpleasant experiences are you able to handle?

Now you may think I'm being negative. But there is an uncomfortable truth they don't tell you when the motivation speaker come to give a pep talk:

**Everything sucks, some of the time.**

Everything involves sacrifice. Everything includes some sort of cost. Nothing is pleasurable or uplifting all of the time. So the question becomes: what struggle or sacrifice are you willing to tolerate?

If you can't handle failure and possible bankruptcy...don't become an entrepreneur. Can you handle putting off building a family for 10 years while you go do mission in Chad? Can you handle spending 12 to 14 hours a day in front of a computer while you build that website?

### Question #2 - What Makes You Forget To Eat and Poop?

Have you ever been so intensely focus on something that you didn't realize that time just flew by and that you forgot to eat? For sure you've been. Now you may have that kind of focus when you play video games...but unless you want to become a professional gamer that is probably not your life purpose. 

There is most likely something about the act of gaming that fascinate you...the drive to improve, surpass yourself, build, fight to win and the competition that is a driver in you. That was my case. I use to play video games so much that I forgot to deal with the important stuff in my life like paying the bills. 

When I took the drive behind playing video games to learn how to market and "fight for a win" then things took off in a big way for me. 

Maybe for you it's something else entirely...maybe it's tinkering with mechanics or organizing stuff.  What makes you go into "the zone" and forget about time? The answers will help you find your purpose. 

### Question #3 - If Money Was No Object...How Would You Spend Your Day?

I expect a lot of people to say that they would have fun, travel, stay on the beach and sink their toes into the hot sand in some exotic country. But believe me...you can only do this for so long. At some point or another, you will have the desire to be productive and do something beyond just having fun. After all, we all crave meaning in our lives.

So what would you do? What would your day look like? Write down a few in your journal. 

## How I found my purpose and the mistake I made

For the past 5 years, I've had my personal mission statement at the front of my journals. To me, it was like peeling an onion. At first, I was after building a lifestyle where I could be anywhere in the world or work from home. I wanted to have a laptop lifestyle. 

Once that was achieved...I was in limbo again. **What I've written wasn't a purpose but a goal!** 

Purpose and goals are not synonymous. A purpose does not necessitate an outcome to be attained but it ought to motivate you to be goal oriented.  [This article on lifehack really helped me make the difference between the two](http://www.lifehack.org/articles/productivity/are-your-goals-and-your-purpose-the-same-thing.html)...read it if you have a hard time telling those two concepts apart. 

So I changed my personal statement of purpose last year to something that was going beyond my selfish needs...its a statement that defines the meaning of my life. I had to sit on it for weeks, contemplating the fact and pain **that one day I will die and that life is kind of a joke without meaning**. I popped into my mind one morning and I made sure to write it on paper when it came up.

Since then, I've found more joy and meaning that I ever thought possible. I do not need to be motivated or cheered on...I simply act from purpose and that's all the motivation I need. I wish that feeling to anyone who hasn't experienced it yet.

# Conclusion 
The topic of purpose is huge and at the very center of going from boyhood to manhood. I urge everyone of you to take the time to discover and find their purpose. The world needs more than ever strong men who know what they want and pursue it. 

Please like the [ManUp page on Facebook](https://www.facebook.com/ManUp-1122008457916154/) to stay tuned when a new article comes out. 

Cheers!


# Sources: 
- [What Do Scientists Know About Finding a Purpose in Life?](https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/curious/201502/what-do-scientists-know-about-finding-purpose-in-life)
- [The Psychological Benefits of Writing Regularly](http://lifehacker.com/the-psychological-benefits-of-writing-regularly-1783693547)
- [Are Your Goals and Your Purpose the Same Thing?](http://www.lifehack.org/articles/productivity/are-your-goals-and-your-purpose-the-same-thing.html)

# **Disclaimer**: 
I use a lot of generalization in my articles because without them we cannot have any discussion about anything. I am aware that there may be a unicorn somewhere to who those advice do not apply.

------------------------------
https://www.steemimg.com/images/2016/10/13/250pxlogo7b7f9.jpg 

[Man Up](https://steemit.com/@cryptoctopus) is a blog who tries to tackle the big questions about what it means to be a man in the 21st century. [Follow Us](https://steemit.com/@cryptoctopus) and [Like Our Facebook Page](https://www.facebook.com/ManUp-1122008457916154) to Stay Tuned on the latest articles.