<center>![face.png](https://files.peakd.com/file/peakd-hive/cryptopie/LQGWCWVN-face.png)</center>

It really does suck when you are unable to walk anymore because obviously being a disabled person suffering from pain issues is not a joke, it frustrates me deep down because I could never do what I was doing before.

I cannot cook anymore because it requires some body movements and I cannot do that, my back would just kill me even with a few minutes of standing-up. That is why I had forgotten about doing it anymore and painfully accepted that the former things are not possible anymore for me to do.

I told myself before that I will going to buy this or buy that but if I will not be the one that is going to use it then there is no use. I do not even buy clothes because there is no style or fashion sense that can make a difference for me.

Right now what I want is to wear a clean and comfortable clothing when I go out which is why I am just wearing the same clothes over and over and not minding anyone saying that I am wearing it every dialysis session.

<center>![walker1006039_640.png](https://files.peakd.com/file/peakd-hive/cryptopie/X6CF2TVX-walker-1006039_640.png)</center>


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<center>__Being Able To Walk Again Is The First Step For Me In Achieving My Goals__</center>

Anyway, I am still waiting for much improvement to my joints and bones so that I can do some light exercises. I am just afraid in doing exercises because the last time that I did so it made my elbow hurt.

I also regret in walking because my knees it seems that they would dislocate not to mention my body's weakness issue. So right now it is almost impossible to do and I couldn't get to be so emotional about it because it will not help.

I have to deal with my condition logically and objectively with an utmost patience and determination so that I can minimize the damage or at least slow down the progression of my demise. I am praying that I can see some improvement to my physical body even though right now that is just like punching the moon type of hope.

That can only happen if another miracle from heaven would be bestowed upon my soul again. So I am not losing hope, it is just better to fight than to give-up because some people are helping me out and I do not want to disappoint them. I still want to achieve some normality for my body because for me every life is precious because we can only live once in this world even though there is a much better life in heaven.