<center>![Screenshot_20190512-132015_1.jpg](https://cdn.steemitimages.com/DQmY8uxF5eAuXe8LFqKN6Srd8SKMB5m1kyJ8BV3adFB2rDn/Screenshot_20190512-132015_1.jpg)</center>
<center>__I Just Hope That I Could Reach My Target Weight Today__</center>

I am much okay with a lighter weight than I am currently weighing right now because the added extra water in my body makes a pressure outwards and whenever I would cough or sneeze it does really hurt. My other dialysis session validated it when I cough after my session it didn't hurt like as usual which means that I do have a lot of water in my body that I have to take out.

The nurses are just a barrier because they would not take out the full amount that I told them to take out like what just happened the last time where they didn't take off the .5 mL so I wasn't able to take it all out which made me to scrimp more of my fluid intake.

Now I am just apprehensive in telling my nurses how much to take and how they would set-up the blood pump because of the fuss that they are creating over it and making fun of me whenever they just congregate with each other.

<center>![achievement-703442_640 (2).jpg](https://cdn.steemitimages.com/DQmeCjgsth4XkS8ypYKHEn2jN6JoJJVhX3AuuYcbSK4UER5/achievement-703442_640%20(2).jpg)</center>
<center>__There Are So Many Obstacles In My Life, They Are So Overwhelming Already__</center>

But I will do it again nonetheless and make another letter of waiver to at least get myself a decent blood cleaning session and hopefully would make myself get the goal of having my body's extra water weight to get taken out for my welfare and well-being. If I will just let my nurses do things by their own judgement I will die with my own body fluids just like the other patients.

So I just have to get out of my comfort zone and tell my nurses again the specifications about my session rather than letting them make their own decisions which are not always good for the patients. I am already thinking about getting to transfer to a new dialysis center because I am no longer comfortable with my nurses. So I just hope that things will get better if I would get out from there and unto the new center which I hope would do better for my own sake and my life.

Even my own body is a hindrance to my own well-being, it is actually the cause of all my health problems because of an autoimmune response which to my body attacking my own kidneys which lead to its failure and the subsequent imbalances that took place after and thus making me like the way I am right now. But I am not losing hope because I want to feel normal and that's it so I just wanted all the prayers in the world, kind thoughts that will certainly make a difference plus with the blessing from God I can achieve what I want if God wills it for me. May God help me.

[Img Src 1]() [Img Src 2](https://pixabay.com/images/id-703442/)