My mother went to me to help her use some free credits from her phone to call her sister from their province down south. She just checked on her and they shared some news on how things are going and she learned that her sister now had four of my cousins are now working and are giving my aunt some money every month whenever they would take home their salaries. So my mother is happy for her because my aunt is now at ease for about her financial situation because they are really are very poor over there a long time ago where they only can get water by collecting it when it rains.

Now my aunt is just free to travel around and can just take it easy and now not bound making a living for she is sustained financially and her children is also now sort of well-to-do finacial-wise because of their jobs. And they decided to visit us at my mother's birthday!

I know my aunt and cousins from my mother's side of the family. They are humble, kind, and a very close-knit family. I like them and we just missed a lot of time meeting face to face because of our distances because visiting them or us by them requires some budgeting which we never had. Now for them having the means for such visitations and reuniting, they told my mother that they will go here on the eve of my mother's birthday.

I love them to visit us really because I miss them too as a close relative but it just shakes the nerves out of me. The last time they saw me was I was when I still look and move normally. Now they will just find me like this, all shattered.  I also can't walk to the bathroom without resting two times in between despite the bathroom's distance is just about ten meters away. So they will see me like that. And them staying in our almost dilapidated house for maybe two days just worries me alot with the embarrassment I will be subjected into.

This will be the scenario, they will look for me, they will see me, they will talk to me. How can I make a conversation if I have a speech disability now? Then they will see the house. Sometimes I want to just evaporate temporarily and then condense back when the coast is clear. These should never be a problem but it turns out to be for me but one thing is for sure, that I must deal with it.