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All seven Ludlow grandchildren knew their grandfather's voice … that colossal, deep, and loving sound of security at last after their years in and out of foster homes, that voice that meant no one would ever pretend to care for them, and not do that.
“When the Lord Jesus says in the Bible, 'My sheep hear My voice, and another's voice they wil not follow,' I totally get it,” eleven-year-old Eleanor said to ten-year-old Andrew about that. “We're just like that with Papa, because we know he actually loves us.”
“Exactly,” Andrew said. “Why would you take a chance on any other voice anyway – well, I mean, there's Grandma, too, but I mean, in the God sense of things, why would anybody take a chance like that if you know Jesus actually does love you?”
“You know what I think?” Eleanor said. “It's like some people are like Lil' Robert: they just gotta see what's on the other side, and after all, he's five years old and knows no better. Some people are just five, all the time.”
But even Lil' Robert, merrily running around and playing in Jonathan Lofton Memorial Park, changed course without thinking as he heard the “Attention!” booming softly from his grandfather, Capt. R.E. Ludlow. That word meant the Ludlow man-training and woman-training units were being called together for something important, and the tone meant, “Don't worry. You are not in trouble. This is just news.”
It took two picnic tables to accommodate eight of the nine Ludlows and one of their adult cousins, Col. H.F. Lee. Once everyone was assembled, Capt. Ludlow shared the news.
“Next week, y'all, I have to go down a few streets from our home and around a few corners at the Veteran's Lodge, and have some medical treatment, and your Lee cousins will be watching over you until your grandmother and I return.”
“But why?” eight-year-old Edwina Ludlow said. “You're not sick, are you?”
“Is the angina flaring up again?” Eleanor said.
“No, but I need to get the treatment I need to keep these things from happening,” Capt. Ludlow said.
“Is this because … is this because you grew up in Crazy Town too?” nine-year-old George said.
Capt. Ludlow heaved a deep sigh.
“The world was Crazy Town then, in some ways,” he said. “At that time, there were many people who did not want people like the Trents to be anywhere near living like us, and they were willing to do anything to stop it.”
“But why?” seven-year-old Amanda said. “They are so nice!”
“Because again: it was crazy,” Capt. Ludlow said, and shook his head. “I saw many things done that should not have been done to anyone, beginning at your age, Robert, things done to make me go along with it all. And I did … for a while. I was raised in Crazy Town. That will tend to make you crazy, until you do the work to get better.”
“Is this why you were kinda chilly to the Trents at first,” Eleanor said, “but then got better, Papa?”
“Exactly,” Capt. Ludlow said. “I had to get better.”
“There are other things that go with that, my loves. I am so angry at all the people who did that to me, like sometimes y'all get mad just because. It wasn't fair and it wasn't right.
“From there I went to the military, and I saw and did a lot more things that had to be done that have given me hard memories and habits. In the meantime, you all know there should be a Robert Jr. and an Anne sitting here. I am so angry that they left me. I am so angry that they left you. I am so angry with myself, that I didn't see in time how to give them what I try so hard every day to give you: my presence, and my love.
“So, y'all know how it is when I got on the phone when a stupid person calls.”
“Oh, yikes,” Andrew said, and almost got up from the table at the thought.
“It's the end of the world as they know it, and they won't feel fine,” Eleanor said.
“But y'all don't either,” Capt. Ludlow said. “Grandma is always reminding me not to let that happen because you are what is called collateral damage: you get hurt as I deal with the stupid people.”
Capt. Ludlow sighed.
“I have 53 years of stupid people, still calling me in my head,” he said, “and I need to finish those conversations so I'm not angry with them any more, and so y'all don't have to live with me being angry and see me die sooner than you need me to because of trying to handle all that.”
“Papa,” George said, “is this what you've been going through, all these years?”
“George,” Capt. Ludlow said, “it is one thing to get out of Crazy Town and not go back. It is another thing to get Crazy Town out of you. I have to get it out of me, so I can help you – and us – get it out of us, so we never make another Crazy Town to live in.”
George got up and ran and hugged his grandfather.
“Whatever you gotta do, Papa, I have your back, like you have mine and ours!”
“Yeah!” Lil' Robert said, and suddenly all of the Ludlow grandchildren got up and tackled their grandfather and knocked him clear off the bench onto the ground, piling their love on.
Capt. Ludlow just reached his arms around them and let the snuggle happen while he caught his breath, his head preserved from injury by his quick-thinking colonel cousin who caught his head.
“The first thing I need y'all to do, after loving me so much, is remember next time: the ground is hard, and I'm old,” he purred. “The second thing I need you to do is listen to your Cousin Harry and your Cousin Maggie like you would listen to me and Grandma while we are away. Now, Grandma and I will be calling home every day so we can all check in on learning, music lessons, counseling appointments, and progress – and morning coffee, because I can't do without my morning coffee.”
Lil' Robert breathed a sigh of relief.
“OK, maybe this will be OK,” he said. “I mean, Cousin Harry, your voice is kinda light like mine, but, OK, as long as I can have my coffee in the morning with you, and Papa on Zoom, maybe this will all be OK.”
“Don't worry,” Col. Lee said as he picked his baby cousin up. “Papa already showed me how many drops of coffee you need in your milk!”
“Oh, well, OK,” Lil' Robert said, and just settled into his big cousin's shoulder with a smile.
“Don't worry,” Capt. Ludlow repeated to all of his grandchildren as they stood back so he could get up. “I'm going to work hard and get this treatment done, and on the day before the Lofton County Spelling Bee, I'll be home to make sure you are perfectly prepared, Grayson, to win in the six-year-old division.”
“OK, good, because I already know: I just can't do this without you, Papa,”six-year-old Grayson said.
“None of us can!” Amanda said.
“And you won't have to, because I am going to take care of my business so that I'm here to take care of yours, as long as you need me,” Capt. Ludlow said. “I gotta be here to see all of you graduate from college or West Point or *whatever,*, and I gotta be here to meet my great-grandchildren – so, next week, I'm going to do a big part of the work to make sure we get to have all of that, together.”
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