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Randumb Musings: On Being OK, Burdens, 11 Muffins and Leaky Pipes by denmarkguy

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· @denmarkguy ·
$9.41
Randumb Musings: On Being OK, Burdens, 11 Muffins and Leaky Pipes
Are you okay?

It's one of those little questions we often ask each other and which we rarely give a straight answer to.

![0475-TreetopCrows.JPG](https://files.peakd.com/file/peakd-hive/denmarkguy/23xyhkeDBMs5vmAsNfdygYnBnFYyPepF3XuSBgPMVpACn8MGZwG59gPbUvf6Jqs7JfkXa.JPG)

## *Yeah, I'm Fine...*

*Are you okay?*

A slight shake of the head betrays our inner reality when we reply *"Yeah, I'm fine."*

We've pretty much all done it. Tell the world that we're okay when in fact we're *not* okay. So much of the time people are actually not okay.

Of course, OK-ness is a fairly subjective and often changeable state of mind.

It could be that I'm actually okay *as compared to other days* when I was more definitively *not* okay even though when I tell you *"I'm okay"* I'm not actually okay because I could sure be a hell of a lot *better.* See where I'm going with this?

It's all relative.

![0637-Sunflower.jpg](https://files.peakd.com/file/peakd-hive/denmarkguy/48RrqftV1bW2xthTPJ9zE9DdLDCowwxH4tGLNR7XaWTp8RNVzxp5Uq4uafT6EoiAZ8.jpg)

Truth be known, I'm almost *never* okay... at least not in an *absolute* sort of sense. Perhaps a more accurate thing to say would be that *"I'm managing,"* which is somewhat different from actually *being OK.* 

And when I look back across my life, I'm not sure I've *ever* been entirely okay. Maybe that sounds a little histrionic but... but it's also the product of a anxious nature, *"married"* to some rather unfortunate life experiences.


## *Don't Burden People With That Stuff!*

I guess I was taught to tell the world that I was *"OK"* from a very young age. My mother instilled in me as a sort of core value that I was *not* to burden people with my troubles because *who wants to listen to somebody complain about their struggles?*

![0536-Daffodils.JPG](https://files.peakd.com/file/peakd-hive/denmarkguy/23xeb7Yi5ySGa1imiX4wZ6krwbqFcTnSzHW8xzWS5d1RuwmYDCDjSEt5PFa2cxseskCXK.JPG)

My mother was somewhat like a *depressed ray of sunshine* who refused to consider anything other than presenting a perfectly polished facade to the world.

*Not being a burden* was a core part of my entire upbringing and younger life. *Don't be a burden; don't make noise; stay out of the way; don't draw attention to yourself; be invisible.* Although not directly framed in such a *direct* way it was certainly a lesson in keeping your troubles to yourself.

Just to clarify, though, it wasn't to say that you shouldn't be *aware* of your troubles and then do something to solve whatever problem it was you were having. Self-reliance was considered extremely important. But it were always to be *self* reliance.

![0598-PurpleColumbine.JPG](https://files.peakd.com/file/peakd-hive/denmarkguy/23tveJMBiFJqNichcEd6k8p2eMiiogfRczMux4i5JrWgoG9m3abFegg3tWuWTRCAavN8c.JPG)

## *The Unlikely Magic of Eleven Muffins!*

Not *at all* related, something definitely *okay* happened this morning. There were a strange set of coincidences in the kitchen! 

For no particular reason, I noticed that the time on the stove was 11:11 as I opened my bag of freshly purchased English muffins only to discover that there were in fact 11 muffins in a bag that was supposed to contain 10 muffins! 

Somehow, that seemed like it was a very auspicious sign. Not sure exactly what it would be a sign *of,* nor what it would be relating to... but somehow it seemed auspicious.

In some small way, I think it was a message from the Universe that sometimes things *do* turn out better than expected! 

![0340-StrawFlower.JPG](https://files.peakd.com/file/peakd-hive/denmarkguy/EpCARYoUzDY4CiXiyTFAPQNBVEcpK3VTFpkGYon8M8P8TUkiZRHooV8DYqj9u7R6A5r.JPG)

## *I Think I Needed That!*

I say that, because immediately *prior* to the muffin incident I had been contemplating this whole issue of *"not burdening people with problems,"* and the consequential situation that I have experienced during much of my life... which has been avoiding telling anyone of problems because they would almost inevitably turn out to be *far more complex and expensive* than expected.

And who wants to be burdened with *that?*

Perhaps you know the drill. You take in your car for a simple oil change and the mechanic says *"Weeelll, you also need new brakes and a new transmission"* and instead of a $49.95 oil change you have an $1,100.00 Auto Repair bill... making you wish you'd just stayed in bed!

![0372-Front.jpg](https://files.peakd.com/file/peakd-hive/denmarkguy/23u6DU1cJymUaWmbvR5Gy6AU73E5VGPMAb9fPUcZf65oTacJHbARugrthX5gqWkkwPmh3.jpg)

Mostly, though, my issue has been with water leaks. 

It seems no matter where I move to or live, leaky toilets and leaky pipes start happening immediately! 

And, invariably I set out to buy a $20 replacement part for a leaking toilet only to discover that part of the wall has to be replumbed to the tune of a thousand bucks. And that's one of the reasons I often have such hesitance with expressing *what the problem is* because *direct experience* tells me that sometimes it's better to just let the toilet drip slightly for all eternity.

The preceding are, of course, primarily *analogies,* more than a reflection of real life... although the experience of problems being far worse than imagined is very real. And they are often far more *expensive* than expected... hence my last vacation was in 2015! Am I *OK* with that? Actually... *not really...*

Ah, they joys of homeownership!

Thanks for visiting, and have an awesome weekend!

***Comments, feedback and other interaction is invited and welcomed! Because — after all — SOCIAL content is about interacting, right? Leave a comment — share your experiences — be part of the conversation! I do my best to answer comments, even if it sometimes takes a few days!***

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Created at 2023-05-26 23:48 PST*
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@edenmichelle ·
$0.03
Great photography and very interesting to see someone else on the 11.11 - we slso take note of the time and incidents that occur at that time.   My videographer also a great believer of 11.11 and we often compare notes.
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@denmarkguy ·
Thanks! We look for patterns all the time... surprising how often they appear when you keep your eyes open. 11:11... and 222, as well. 
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@jacobtothe ·
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I have never liked the mindless "How ya doin'?" greeting so common in America. I don't want to put people in the position of denying their stress and turmoil just to complete an empty social ritual. I only ask my patrons what is going on or how they are doing if I am ready and willing to lend an ear. I was warned today not to ask such questions if I didn't have time for a story. So I repeated the question. I know I can't usually offer sage advice or anything, but I can listen anyway.
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@denmarkguy ·
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Sometimes people just need a *"space"* in which to tell their story. When I do decide to ask someone how they are doing, I am fully ready for them to share sincerely...
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