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# <center>I love mushrooms</center>

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This year, I plan on doing a mushroom trip each month in an effort to explore my mind and repair damage that has been done over the years. I wasn't able to get a mushroom trip in last month because of the birth of our grandson and things have been pretty busy since his arrival.

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It has been such a blessing to have our grandson here in our home with us. Having him and our daughter both here during this time has been the coolest experience of our lives. Being able to help her during his birth and now being able to help her take care of her precious little man has been such a gift.

As I was preparing for this mushroom trip, I made a playlist of music that really means a lot to me. The playlist was nearly ten hours long but over the last couple weeks, I have been removing songs that I didn't think would fit what I wanted out of the experience, and by the time I was ready for my trip, it was only six hours long.

I was going to be doing a strain of magic mushrooms called Thai Dung. I had never heard anything about this strain and I wasn't sure how the trip would go. It is always a bit scary trying a new mushroom strain because doing mushrooms isnt anything like cannabis. Some strains can be extremely potent and they can be overwhelming for people that aren't experienced with these substances. Luckily, I have been getting pretty experienced doing this and have ways to calm myself if things begin to get too intense.

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I began preparing for my trip by measuring out three grams of the mushrooms. Then I diced them up and put them in boiling water and let them steep for 20 mins. Then I strained the mushroom bits out of the tea and added some cacao and honey and started sipping. I have found that this tea method pretty much eliminates the uncomfortable aspects of the come up. It also helps with the taste because eating raw mushroom is not the best tasting thing ever.

It usually takes about 30-45 mins to start feeling the effects. When I would eat the mushroom bars or raw mushrooms, the effects would come on pretty strong and sometimes can hit you like a dump truck, but I have found that sipping the tea over 10-20 mins helps to ease your mind into the experience. 

I started to feel the butterflies begin to build in my stomach after about 45 mins. Normally around this time, I begin to see some stuff in the corners of my eyes. They are like shadows that your mind makes up and when you try and look at them, they go away. This time however, there really wasn't any visuals starting, which at first I thought was weird. I contemplated taking more mushrooms so that I can get the visual experience, but decided against it and just wanted to see how things go at this dose.

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<center>[souce](https://giphy.com/gifs/psychedelic-psychedelia-phazed-ATGezri9XEaqY)</center>

I laid down on my bed and put my headphones on and began my playlist. The first hour and 20 mins or so after drinking the tea was pretty uneventful. I didn't have any of the normal discomfort that I would feel during this stage. I would get cold every now and then, so I curled up in a blanket and looked around my room. My thoughts began to get pretty deep and I could tell the mushrooms were working. I smoked some White Widow cannabis and then laid down and closed my eyes.

This is where the trip really began. My intention for this mushroom trip was to decompress and just spend time with myself. I wanted reassurance that I am heading in the right direction with my life. I told my wife that during the trip, I was just going to have my playlist on shuffle and let the universe guide me through the experience.

I have not spent much time by myself during any of my trips and I usually just snuggle with my wife and cry on her. This time, I wanted to really go deep in my mind and see what happens. As I was listening to my music, there really wasn't any of the time distortion that I normally hear. This time, it was like I was hearing all of the songs for the first time and I was in a massive concert hall and could hear each individual track that made up the songs.

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<center>[souce](https://giphy.com/gifs/rainbow-trippy-psychedelic-zpEHQcTDsQeNlY5XCw)</center>

The music was so beautiful and it was like it was written just for me at that moment. I had my eyes closed but I wasn't having the normal geometric patterns and colors. Instead, my mind created magical scenes that seemed to flow with my breath. Soon, my breath started to feel like the breath of the universe as I just laid there. It was like the universe was speaking to me through the music and each song was an entirely new experience.

There is a song called "O Superman" that I was excited to listen to during my trip and when it came on, I had no clue what I was in for. At the beginning of the song, I was a baby again and my mom was holding me and rocking me. I could feel immense love coming from her and flowing out of me. Then I saw myself sitting in a bus after I just left my wife and one year old son and I was getting ready to get on a plane headed for Iraq to fight in the war. 

I saw myself sitting there staring out the window with zero expression on my face. I realized that 20 years ago when I left to go to war, I did not cry or show any emotion because I was surrounded by my fellow soldiers and I didn't want to cry in front of them. Then it was like the flood gates opened and I began to cry really hard. It was like all the emotion that I had bottled up was being let go. I thought for sure that my wife would hear me as I cried and I tried to stop myself from crying, but then I remembered that this is what I am doing this for and I didn't fight anymore of those feelings and I just let the tears flow.

Once the song ended, it transitioned to another song and a whole new set of feelings began to flood in. I wiped the tears from my face and thought about all the times that I was forced to leave my family and I wasn't able to show any emotions. So I just let them all flow out of me.

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I thought about how lucky I am to be here in my home and everything that we have. My wife and I have built up a pretty amazing life together. I was filled with love and happiness for the life we have built. I spent the majority of the trip in the solitude of my room and it was one of the best trips of my life. My cat Sophie spent the entire time snuggling with me and I thought about how she has seen so many versions of me over the 12 years that she has been alive and she has loved each version of me, even when I couldn't. 

This trip was exactly what I was hoping for. I was telling my wife that it was like a warm hug from the universe and it was so cool to get reassurance for all the work that we have been doing. It kind of felt like a nap, even though I was awake throughout the entire thing. Thai Dung is a really cool magic mushroom strain. Probably the best one I have had for a really deep trip inside your mind. Psychedelic mushrooms are pretty amazing substances that can really help your mental health. They have made me a better person and love myself. Life is a trip.

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