**Good Afternoon Steemit, I'm "Zach"**  I've been on here awhile, but I figure it's time for me to share a little more about myself.

I hear and see the common prodverb, "find yourself". *Sometimes in the form of advertisement or self discovery. I found myself, I discovered myself, I feel like I discovered my true calling.* 

What happens when there isn't a place for you to find? What happens when that place is far away? What do you do?
 This is where I found myself in life, so I created.

http://www.clker.com/cliparts/Y/l/n/x/Z/l/stick-figure-man-black-md.png![](https://steemitimages.com/DQmW4R6K1Faqh3AoLpqYyvubCZtBi6k7jZQYQ2xM9JCq4vd/image.png)

My humble beginnings start in white suburbia Wisconsin, north of Milwaukee, where I was adopted by two wonderful parents. 

https://scontent-ort2-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/12928365_1680718775527706_7649330003356789035_n.jpg?oh=5b6a0dc259bf6511bcc62d8d06f3d419&oe=5A8E75E8
*I actually had to use their wedding photo beccause, well this was the only photo of them on my computer.*
*I was always aware I was adopted. It wasn't exactly something my parents could hide.*

http://www.emergencydentistmilwaukee.com/articles/wp-content/uploads/2015/04/germantown-milwaukee-wisconsin-map.jpg

I grew up in Germantown: a demographic that is 93% white and 2% African american. Needless to say I was among a very small minority of blacks in a upper middle class community. This demographic forced me to make a decision early in youth, because as soon as race came into kids consciousness at the beginning of middle school; for many people, I was no longer "Zach", I was the "black kid".

Where would I find myself? 

There were one of two paths open to me at that stage in my life. My thought process wasn't developed enough and I didn't have enough experience to develop past these two options. Either I could try to assimilate to popular African american culture by befriending other African american students. Trying to learn about a black culture that I has no experience in, but finding solace and community within our racial commonality. (I had never had a fellow minority as a friend, or a adult figure. Something else that played a large role in my development). 

The other option filling the "Uncle Tom" role (which is more of less  what I choose at first). For those that don't know what a Uncle Tom is, 
 
 **"A derogatory epithet for an exceedingly subservient person, particularly when that person is aware of their own lower-class status based on race".**

To be clear I never thought of myself as second class, but I understood that I was at the mercy of my fellow classmates. Any argument could be won with, "well your black". Any student could gain a laugh from the crowd with nearly any crude racial joke, no matter how illogical. The most common compliment I received through my middle and high school days was "You're the whitest black guy ever". Because that was the best thing I could be for a lot of people, white. 

I have always been proud to be African american, but I couldn't go through a class or walk through the hallway without being reminded I'm black. The stigma with that was unavoidable, no matter how much I wanted to ignore it, so it beat me down at times. I would smile, sometimes uncomfortably chuckle, but I almost never spoke up. I would say it didn't bother me, that I don't really care, because especially at that age, people want friendships that are convenient. I could have gotten angry or upset, but that would have isolated me. It wouldn't  have helped. So, I gritted my teeth and bit my tongue. That's not to say it didn't get to me. I would cry sometimes at night because I didn't understand what I was feeling, why other people were acting like they do and I was never able to discuse it. I didn't really know anyone else of color, and I knew it wasn't just happening to me, but I had no one to talk about it with. Certainly my supportive parents, but they couldn't identify, so I decided fairly early that I couldn't find my identity, I had to make it.

There were a lot of paths I could've taken, but I thank my genetics, parents, friends, and powers that be (I do believe in a god) that I found the one I'm on. I couldn't let my anger change me, I couldn't let the words bitter me. I had to enjoy every moment I could, grit my teeth for the ones I couldn't and try to slowly educate and change those around me. I had to make my own identity and take it back. Not a "Uncle Tom, not the stereotypical minority that others except, but "zach". Kind, empathetic, smart, respectful, honest. A relatively athletic kid who enjoys video games writing, and sports. Someone who is spontaneous and bold when the opportunity arises, but has restrain and self control. I will always be building my identity, but it began it's fruition during those trying times. I also had an amazing group of friends who I still talk to daily in our group chat.

![377.jpg](https://steemitimages.com/DQmR6sHCNMkkQZqgowZrYZneVX5GEcuA1AVaULRdcem8f8C/377.jpg)

The great friends continued in college

https://scontent-ort2-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-0/p600x600/21616235_10209816849049972_5203402232670792364_n.jpg?oh=a9cd0fedfd99ad8f0e726f1b2e23fc84&oe=5A95C7F0 


It was never about me finding my identity, it was about me forging it. As much as is was difficult, I loved middle school and high school, I could go on for pages. I love Germantown and I have seen myself and classmates mature over the years. That speaks to the amazing people I have met and how fortunate I have been to have so many amazing memories from these years. I wouldn't change a thing. 

## **Hello Steemit, I am Zach.**