Problem solved! by dirtydave

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funny · @dirtydave · Dec 2 '18

$0.48

Problem solved!

I am from a culture where it is standard practice to go down to the pub several times a week and have a few drinks...... it plays an important part in socialization and in male bonding..... my Girlfriend comes from a country where this is not the norm...... she began to get upset with the amount of time i was spending in the pub with my friends..... and with the amount of money i was spending on booze..... she demanded that i stop going to the pub altogether..... i thought this was extremely unreasonable.... but decided to compromise... i promised her that i would only go to the pub and drink on weekends..... and for the first month it was tough.... like really tough.... almost torture... you have no idea how hard it was for me.... BUT NOW.... NOW...... i just fucking lie to her.

![AB635A0A-229B-4AC9-BE3E-F4212FF8D97A.jpeg](https://cdn.steemitimages.com/DQmc3wzKBofUVDfkU9speuJD4KtHW6Dz4gtnqribBFKU68f/AB635A0A-229B-4AC9-BE3E-F4212FF8D97A.jpeg)

👍 comedyopenmic, buttcoins, doomsdaychassis, acolucky, dirtydave, thevillan, clumsysilverdad, take5, holybranches, penderis, idikuci, zemiatin, bukiland, bitfiend, belemo, ange.nkuru, skramatters, abcor, com-judge, smokingfit, disguarpe, steemitboard

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@ange.nkuru · Dec 2 '18

$0.02

The easiest solution usually is the right one.

👍 dirtydave

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@dirtydave · Dec 2 '18

$0.04

I was thinking of leaving her in a shallow fucking grave..... but couldn’t find my shovel

👍 doomsdaychassis, ange.nkuru

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@ange.nkuru · Dec 2 '18

😂😂

Posted using [Partiko Android](https://steemit.com/@partiko-android)

👍 ange.nkuru

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@doomsdaychassis · Dec 6 '18 (edited)

$0.04

I always leave my shovel in the corner by the rope, duct tape, and tarps. It is easier to find in case of an emergency.

👍 dirtydave

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1 reply

@buttcoins · Dec 2 '18

$0.02

Lying makes life so much easier

Posted using [Partiko iOS](https://steemit.com/@partiko-ios)

👍 dirtydave

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@steemcomedyclub · Dec 2 '18

$1.15

Hi dirtydave, 
 
Thank you for your entry in to #comedyopenmic comedy contest. We have asked the judges below to review your entry and give it a funny rating. (They generally have no sense of humor, as the saying goes, those that can't do, start contests and judge).
This will determine your ultimate position when the results are tallied. (That being said, you are free to adopt any position you wish - we can recommend pantsless with beer in hand.)

#### Judges:
- @doomsdaychassis
- @improv
- @holybranches
 
If you have any questions or queries please feel free to contact one of the judges or come say hi in discord: [Click Here](https://discord.gg/rddw2Ny)
 
<center>[Click To Vote](https://v2.steemconnect.com/sign/account-witness-vote?witness=comedyopenmic&approve=1) @ComedyOpenMic For Witness And Disrupt The Steem Blockchain With Laughter!<a href="https://v2.steemconnect.com/sign/account-witness-vote?witness=comedyopenmic&approve=1">
<img src="https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/448711994275659777/454625592675926026/image.jpg" alt="Support COM Banner" style="width:42px;height:42px;border:0;">
</a>
<sub>Thank you to @matytan for the great banner </sub></center>

👍 comedyopenmic, idikuci, dj123, dwainus, comedyschool, steemnsfw, yourmaker, com-judge, chillibeans, theycallmebaka, bondy007, foles09, danieljavier, potsdam, sammygarth, wargamer, qong, puwelwol, ajnin, pkushi, kkkkkl

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@steemitboard · Dec 2 '18

Congratulations @dirtydave! You have completed the following achievement on the Steem blockchain and have been rewarded with new badge(s) :

<table><tr><td>https://steemitimages.com/60x70/http://steemitboard.com/@dirtydave/comments.png?201812020714</td><td>You made more than 200 comments. Your next target is to reach 300 comments.</td></tr>
</table>

<sub>_[Click here to view your Board of Honor](https://steemitboard.com/@dirtydave)_</sub>
<sub>_If you no longer want to receive notifications, reply to this comment with the word_ `STOP`</sub>


To support your work, I also upvoted your post!


> Support [SteemitBoard's project](https://steemit.com/@steemitboard)! **[Vote for its witness](https://v2.steemconnect.com/sign/account-witness-vote?witness=steemitboard&approve=1)** and **get one more award**!

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@thevillan · Dec 2 '18

$0.04

![](https://cdn.steemitimages.com/DQmRJ4Wq6ccFCDJzWdHr67G1pUWcrPhgPoL9nfWnQ1hHQrT/image.png)

👍 dirtydave, thevillan

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@dirtydave · Dec 2 '18

$0.02

Women.... cant live with them.... cant live without them (until they teach a sex robot to cook and clean)

👍 thevillan

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@doomsdaychassis · Dec 6 '18

$0.05

Shit, then they could do 2 things my wife couldn't do. lol

👍 dirtydave

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1 reply

@thevillan · Dec 2 '18

$0.04

Haha yeah hopefully 2030 we will be there. 20 years ago the best sex robot was my mums vacuum cleaner

👍 dirtydave, thevillan, lolicorn

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1 reply

@zemiatin · Dec 2 '18 (edited)

That sounds like the best way to go. But what do you do if you are really bad at lying when drunk? :D

Posted using [Partiko Android](https://steemit.com/@partiko-android)

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@dirtydave · Dec 2 '18

Never fear...... women are really gullible..... unless your gay... in that case... your fucked

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@zemiatin · Dec 2 '18

Hah. That is true lol. 

Posted using [Partiko Android](https://steemit.com/@partiko-android)

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