over the years of soloing it, ive had a lot of time for self reflection
when i see others do things
i try to query what in their  prior days
has built them to this
this...
standing at the top of an escalator
taking photos but not offering assistance
tying animals to train tracks, only to 'rescue in time'

but i digress

im trying to listen to upbeat music
to boost my spirits
to add some joy

you see
im somewhat depleted atm
both in the 'facade of joy'
as well as the actual joy

you see
i was given a puppy
it was half teeth, half piss
but it was adorabl

also, it was going to be YOOOGE

half RNP half bull mastiff
i was gonna name him 'wesside massif'
alas
someone saw my joy
told lies
and the puppy was removed

furhter digression
it seems the tempo of the mujsic ive been listening to
is causing my heart to be a little of kilter
am i that alergic to joy
is there a battle raging inside me
spurned on by the thought
soon
they will release the mariah