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You might have won prizes in debating contests when you were a student, using your ability to _argue_. The usefulness of arguments draws to a close with debates! In real life, if you at any time decide to settle an issue by arguing regarding it, you are programming to lose. This will be the case even if you happen to win the argument!

Precisely what is an argument, anyway? When ever a couple differ in their beliefs, perceptions or understanding about a concern, a climate for an argument develops. Either or both the folks differing on an issue may assume that they can settle the issue by arguing about it. What will result from this outlook is a slew of disputes supporting each of both oppositions. It is very possible that the points created by one person are better in conditions of reason or facts than those made by the other. Does it mean that anybody whose arguments are more robust will become the winner, with the other person conceding?

This almost never happens, mainly for two reasons. One, there is no judge or court to decide who the winner is and two, even if one person could somehow establish the superiority of his arguements over the ones from the other person, the other person is merely never going to accept beat! Ironically but understandably, an argument only makes each person become more toughened in his stand. Rather than establish precisely what is right, an disagreement only accentuates the dissimilarities and creates a condition of irreconcilability.

Therefore, what should you do, if you have distinctions with another person. You should discuss, not debate. To get started with, accept the distinctions as arising from perceptions. Look for regions of agreement and commence to develop a common approach using these areas as the foundation. You can find it easy to expand the area of agreement and make it more comfortable for both of you to work on.
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Regardless of two viewpoints appearing to be totally irreconcilable, you can still find an opening for setting up an entry. For example, if you think about an object to be white in colour while the other person contends that it is black, you can say "You may be right. Perhaps some off-white areas in the dark surface have made myself perceive them to be white. Perhaps, we can look at it jointly." Probably the other person will concede that the object was not all black that it had some grey areas and even a few patches of white. In such a circumstance, it is an indication that you have achieved a breakthrough..

You should choose between _winning an argument_ and <b>winning a relationship!</b>