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![Heaven in a cup.png](https://files.peakd.com/file/peakd-hive/emma-h/23x171sJi8fcpaXtFtpJhowJmN4Sx1MYvMVHap8ubuFGVvgHWyeyEiRMyAQbXF2kPdKob.png)</center>

##### <center>“I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I needed to be.”</center>

<center><sub>~Douglas Adams. 'The Long Dark Tea-Time of the Soul.'</sub></center>

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Over the last two days I've had a lot of time on my mind - not on my hands because I was busy doing stuff, but my mind was allowed to freely wonder off and think about life. I didn't get hugely philosophical about it but I was thinking about the substance of life and whether if I vanished off to the great blue yonder, would I have been happy with the last day I spent and how I used the time.

I've done this exercise before each time I answered "no" because I felt that there was still so much to be done, but then I realised I was answering the question holding the wrong supposition. I was answering it with the assumption that I'd still be alive after answering the question. 

But if there wasn't more would I be happy with today as my last? 

*The human brain is a seriously technologically advanced instrument and today I blew my own mind with it.*

I had been driving for some time and was about half way to my destination when something took place that made me swallow hard. 

I was in the right hand lane of a dual lane carriageway and there were cars ahead, to the left and behind me. I was minding my own business when in a matter of milliseconds this was my thought process

"Why does this lane feel squished?"
"That guy's rather close to me that's why"
"Why is he so close to me?"
"Is he paying attention to the road?"
*"WHAT THE FUCK IS HE DOING?"*
"He's going to hit me" 

At this point everything sped up faster and while my thoughts were racing a million miles an hour, my brain also told my hand to stick to the hooter which I did and then ...

*"Brace yourself"*

This happened so fast but my mind had already gauged by how he was veering towards me that the impact was probable and made the necessary mental preparations for it. 

Luckily the hooter worked really well and I think he may have soiled himself as he violently veered back into his own lane seeming very confused and I'd even say panicked. 

It was a VERY close call and even though we weren't going very fast (70kms/hour), there is no telling what the end result of that collision may have been. I'm glad it didn't turn out any way other than how it did, but it afforded me the opportunity in that split second to answer the question AND be immensely grateful for so many things.

If that had taken a turn for the worst would I have been happy up to that point with what I've accomplished in my life? 

The answer was a resounding "yes". I would be and there would be no good reason for me to feel otherwise because I've had a lot of near misses like this in my life and I'm still walking and talking and living to tell the tale. That in itself is something. 

Would there be changes I want to implement - absolutely, I'd be an idiot not to want to change what is less than favourable but if I didn't have the opportunity, I would be fully content with myself and my life up to this point. 

So I did a lot of thinking about my life, what it means to me, what I value, deem important and those that I hold dear. I've culled a lot of people who weren't good for me, but I've added some that have completely changed the way I view the world, the good and bad parts of it, the balancing act that we all seem to take part in on a daily basis between home, work, play and everything in between. I'm not any measure of societal success, but that doesn't mean much these days anyway. My purpose in life has changed drastically through the years but I know what it is and I know how to fulfil it, I know I'm far from perfect but I also know that I'm good at heart. Isn't that half of the challenge we face most of the time? The existential questions of whether we are living up to our potential. 

Does that mean that I can now sit back and be lazy? Gosh no, absolutely not. I have nothing to prove to anyone but myself, but I also still have a lot of work to do to continue fulfilling that purpose. 

The thing is that you can't ever look off into the distance to meet your aspirations, it can't always be off over there somewhere just out of reach - it has to be today, right now - this very moment. Even the mundane ones count. 

It's an intense feeling when you get jolted like that, it makes you appreciate things so much more, makes the coffee taste damlicious and makes every minute precious...because every minute IS precious. We only have a finite number of them so we need to use them wisely, cut the chaff and nurture the good stuff because that's what makes it a life well lived.

##### <center>It's not a handful of big things, it's a lifetime of little ones.</center> </div>

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<sub>The image is mine</sub>