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<p>I have had many people come to me asking for counselling and guidance concerning their troubled relationships with their partners. One of the common catalysts which lead to the death of a relationship is the ‘right vs. wrong’ philosophy. Now some of you might say how can one’s belief in right vs. wrong destroy a relationship? You may think that following the belief in right vs. wrong is what relationship works but reality it doesn’t. Let me give you an example. Right to one person is not necessarily right to another. Some people believe it is right to for women to cover their heads in the presence of men and others see it at as male domination. Who is right? Well that is relative to the beliefs we hold and proof we deem valid. People through out the centuries have died and killed innocent people for what they believe to be right. However, just because they believed something to be right didn’t mean that their actions were productive. If you believe it is right to kill, enslave, or steal someone’s land and you can rationally prove it doesn’t make your actions honourable, noble or productive. It is examples such as this which show us the limitations of following the belief of ‘right vs. wrong’. </p>
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<p>Now if people were to find the most productive way for us to live in harmony while respecting each others difference then they are seeking a productive solution. When one embraces the idea of ‘productive vs. unproductive’, then one seeks to find the best solution which takes in to account all the necessary facts and views rather than one view in the case of the belief in ‘right vs. wrong’. If partners seek to create a productive relationship then they will seek to find the most productive ways, taking in to account their differences and weaknesses, to make their relationship a success. However, if partners apply the concept of ‘right and wrong’ they can waste of a lot of energy and time attempting to prove whose view or behaviour is the best and the one to followed rather than find a solution upon which both sides can agree. If we want to be more successful in our relationships with our partners, families, friends, work colleagues, communities or those of difference faiths then we need to find productive ways to work together. If we focus on the right way we spend our time as we have for the last thousand years arguing, fighting and even worst killing one another in name of our personal truths. If your relationships are failing then seek to be more productive and less right. </p>
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