create account

How To Heal Yourself From Disappointment by erikaharris

View this thread on: hive.blogpeakd.comecency.com
· @erikaharris ·
$2.23
How To Heal Yourself From Disappointment
<center>![heal-yourself-from-disappointmentcb956.jpg](https://www.steemimg.com/images/2016/08/15/heal-yourself-from-disappointmentcb956.jpg)</center>

<center>Disappointments. Those moments in life when you are *let down.*</center>

Thanks to resiliency, we can recover from most of them with little time and effort. We are usually good at bouncing back. But there are some disappointments that get stuck. They hover around like a persistent sadness, and if left unchecked, they will ferment into resentment... and then you'll have an even worse interior state to deal with.

So, if you've got a disappointment you've been carrying around (as I did), read on. I'm going to share with you a way I discovered to free yourself from a deep or long-term disappointment.

# **What it is.**

Disappointment is defined as a "feeling of sadness or displeasure caused by the nonfulfillment of one's hopes or expectations."  

# **How it happens.**

Disappointment happens when you place hope outside of yourself, and either put it in the hands of someone else, or in the attachment to an outcome. This is a form of dismemberment. The reason the disappointing person or event keeps coming to your mind is because you have left an aspect of yourself with that person or that outcome-attachment. Your mind and heart want to be whole, so they keep nagging you -- rehearsing the disappointment again and again -- as a prompt to, literally, bring yourself back together.

# **How to heal from it.**

See the disappointment in your mind. Feel it in your body. Identify the person, people or outcome-attachment that you gave your hope to. **Reclaim your hope.** Reach out your hands, as though you were going to grab your keys or pick up your phone, and *take your hope back.*  You don't have to snatch, or be mean-spirited.  Just be confident in knowing that the hope is yours, and it will best serve you by being with you. Not outside of you.

When you do this (and it is done simply, by directed imagination), you are sealing up the leak/crack that got created when you first gave your hope away. Very sensitive people can often feel an internal shift of power as a result of taking their hope back. You won't feel nearly as vulnerable to, or hurt by, the particular person or outcome-attachment because you have gathered and grouped your essence back together, versus having it scattered and entrusted to non-caring scenarios. Your hope is a very important part of your being-ness. Share and spend it with great care.

Do you find this technique useful? Do you have questions or comments about it? I'd love to hear from you.

*I originally wrote + published this post on my EmpathicWriter website [here](http://www.empathicwriter.com/blogcast/how-to-heal-yourself-from-disappointment).*
👍  , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
properties (23)
authorerikaharris
permlinkhow-to-heal-yourself-from-disappointment
categorydisappointment
json_metadata{"tags":["disappointment","inspiration","hope","life","heal"],"image":["https://www.steemimg.com/images/2016/08/15/heal-yourself-from-disappointmentcb956.jpg"],"links":["http://www.empathicwriter.com/blogcast/how-to-heal-yourself-from-disappointment"]}
created2016-08-15 06:23:03
last_update2016-08-15 06:23:03
depth0
children15
last_payout2016-09-14 23:10:21
cashout_time1969-12-31 23:59:59
total_payout_value1.702 HBD
curator_payout_value0.528 HBD
pending_payout_value0.000 HBD
promoted0.000 HBD
body_length2,772
author_reputation50,330,468,814,940
root_title"How To Heal Yourself From Disappointment"
beneficiaries[]
max_accepted_payout1,000,000.000 HBD
percent_hbd10,000
post_id812,469
net_rshares2,222,898,686,761
author_curate_reward""
vote details (42)
@bitshares101 ·
Creative visualization, developing  the skill to control the flow of our thoughts and holding focus on our intention are techniques that can be developed by anyone with an imagination.  Each mental accomplishment will build on the ability to embrace who we are and lead us to a stronger sense of self and personal contentment. Nice post!
👍  
properties (23)
authorbitshares101
permlinkre-erikaharris-how-to-heal-yourself-from-disappointment-20160815t144439967z
categorydisappointment
json_metadata{"tags":["disappointment"]}
created2016-08-15 14:44:42
last_update2016-08-15 14:44:42
depth1
children1
last_payout2016-09-14 23:10:21
cashout_time1969-12-31 23:59:59
total_payout_value0.000 HBD
curator_payout_value0.000 HBD
pending_payout_value0.000 HBD
promoted0.000 HBD
body_length337
author_reputation360,187,600,603
root_title"How To Heal Yourself From Disappointment"
beneficiaries[]
max_accepted_payout1,000,000.000 HBD
percent_hbd10,000
post_id817,695
net_rshares267,779,857
author_curate_reward""
vote details (1)
@erikaharris ·
Beautifully put, @bitshares101! I look forward to hearing a lot more from you :-)
👍  
properties (23)
authorerikaharris
permlinkre-bitshares101-re-erikaharris-how-to-heal-yourself-from-disappointment-20160815t160918487z
categorydisappointment
json_metadata{"tags":["disappointment"],"users":["bitshares101"]}
created2016-08-15 16:09:18
last_update2016-08-15 16:09:18
depth2
children0
last_payout2016-09-14 23:10:21
cashout_time1969-12-31 23:59:59
total_payout_value0.000 HBD
curator_payout_value0.000 HBD
pending_payout_value0.000 HBD
promoted0.000 HBD
body_length81
author_reputation50,330,468,814,940
root_title"How To Heal Yourself From Disappointment"
beneficiaries[]
max_accepted_payout1,000,000.000 HBD
percent_hbd10,000
post_id818,999
net_rshares10,873,663,218
author_curate_reward""
vote details (1)
@dragonslayer109 ·
$0.04
hi I love this post i will be featuring it today in my daily pick of hidden gems :)
👍  , , ,
properties (23)
authordragonslayer109
permlinkre-erikaharris-how-to-heal-yourself-from-disappointment-20160815t063726249z
categorydisappointment
json_metadata{"tags":["disappointment"]}
created2016-08-15 06:37:27
last_update2016-08-15 06:37:27
depth1
children2
last_payout2016-09-14 23:10:21
cashout_time1969-12-31 23:59:59
total_payout_value0.040 HBD
curator_payout_value0.001 HBD
pending_payout_value0.000 HBD
promoted0.000 HBD
body_length83
author_reputation179,927,186,222,966
root_title"How To Heal Yourself From Disappointment"
beneficiaries[]
max_accepted_payout1,000,000.000 HBD
percent_hbd10,000
post_id812,592
net_rshares66,746,460,208
author_curate_reward""
vote details (4)
@erikaharris ·
How generous of you! Thanks, @dragonslayer109! :-D
👍  
properties (23)
authorerikaharris
permlinkre-dragonslayer109-re-erikaharris-how-to-heal-yourself-from-disappointment-20160815t064114798z
categorydisappointment
json_metadata{"tags":["disappointment"],"users":["dragonslayer109"]}
created2016-08-15 06:41:15
last_update2016-08-15 06:41:15
depth2
children1
last_payout2016-09-14 23:10:21
cashout_time1969-12-31 23:59:59
total_payout_value0.000 HBD
curator_payout_value0.000 HBD
pending_payout_value0.000 HBD
promoted0.000 HBD
body_length50
author_reputation50,330,468,814,940
root_title"How To Heal Yourself From Disappointment"
beneficiaries[]
max_accepted_payout1,000,000.000 HBD
percent_hbd10,000
post_id812,614
net_rshares11,159,728,095
author_curate_reward""
vote details (1)
@dragonslayer109 ·
https://steemit.com/life/@dragonslayer109/daily-pick-of-hidden-gems-25 here is where i will be featuring your post
👍  ,
properties (23)
authordragonslayer109
permlinkre-erikaharris-re-dragonslayer109-re-erikaharris-how-to-heal-yourself-from-disappointment-20160815t102356432z
categorydisappointment
json_metadata{"tags":["disappointment"],"links":["https://steemit.com/life/@dragonslayer109/daily-pick-of-hidden-gems-25"]}
created2016-08-15 10:23:57
last_update2016-08-15 10:23:57
depth3
children0
last_payout2016-09-14 23:10:21
cashout_time1969-12-31 23:59:59
total_payout_value0.000 HBD
curator_payout_value0.000 HBD
pending_payout_value0.000 HBD
promoted0.000 HBD
body_length114
author_reputation179,927,186,222,966
root_title"How To Heal Yourself From Disappointment"
beneficiaries[]
max_accepted_payout1,000,000.000 HBD
percent_hbd10,000
post_id814,624
net_rshares11,432,863,549
author_curate_reward""
vote details (2)
@immortalpoet ·
"Desire is the root of all suffering" as the saying goes. But what then? Shall we desire not to desire? I think you will be disappointed with that as well. Maybe my perspective is strange, but when I'm down, I want to feel that too. Feelings are like energy. They can't really be destroyed, only subverted into something else. If you don't acknowledge and express that sadness, process and digest it, it's just going to come back as something else - and maybe you won't even know why you're sad or angry. Just that bits of this and that were left to fester. In deep down grey dark depths, there are still depths. Ones that I wouldn't bother meddling in otherwise. I farm those out. But stay too long and you wallow in it, and come up with the grime of it worked into you. You're right. Taking heart is a discipline, a mindful choice. Simple but not easy.. I'm trying to learn that balance without falling off the ledge.
👍  
properties (23)
authorimmortalpoet
permlinkre-erikaharris-how-to-heal-yourself-from-disappointment-20160815t064342919z
categorydisappointment
json_metadata{"tags":["disappointment"]}
created2016-08-15 06:43:45
last_update2016-08-15 06:43:45
depth1
children2
last_payout2016-09-14 23:10:21
cashout_time1969-12-31 23:59:59
total_payout_value0.000 HBD
curator_payout_value0.000 HBD
pending_payout_value0.000 HBD
promoted0.000 HBD
body_length919
author_reputation1,078,691,574
root_title"How To Heal Yourself From Disappointment"
beneficiaries[]
max_accepted_payout1,000,000.000 HBD
percent_hbd10,000
post_id812,628
net_rshares267,779,857
author_curate_reward""
vote details (1)
@erikaharris ·
I fall off the ledge ALL THE TIME! Thanks for your thoughtful comment, @immortalpoet.
properties (22)
authorerikaharris
permlinkre-immortalpoet-re-erikaharris-how-to-heal-yourself-from-disappointment-20160815t070552647z
categorydisappointment
json_metadata{"tags":["disappointment"],"users":["immortalpoet"]}
created2016-08-15 07:05:54
last_update2016-08-15 07:05:54
depth2
children0
last_payout2016-09-14 23:10:21
cashout_time1969-12-31 23:59:59
total_payout_value0.000 HBD
curator_payout_value0.000 HBD
pending_payout_value0.000 HBD
promoted0.000 HBD
body_length85
author_reputation50,330,468,814,940
root_title"How To Heal Yourself From Disappointment"
beneficiaries[]
max_accepted_payout1,000,000.000 HBD
percent_hbd10,000
post_id812,818
net_rshares0
@stevenlytle ·
"Desire is the root of all suffering" says that all suffering  comes from desire, but does not even imply that all desire leads to suffering. So if you want no suffering, choose or accept only desires that do not lead to suffering.
👍  
properties (23)
authorstevenlytle
permlinkre-immortalpoet-re-erikaharris-how-to-heal-yourself-from-disappointment-20160815t160929825z
categorydisappointment
json_metadata{"tags":["disappointment"]}
created2016-08-15 16:09:30
last_update2016-08-15 16:09:30
depth2
children0
last_payout2016-09-14 23:10:21
cashout_time1969-12-31 23:59:59
total_payout_value0.000 HBD
curator_payout_value0.000 HBD
pending_payout_value0.000 HBD
promoted0.000 HBD
body_length231
author_reputation73,280,104,782
root_title"How To Heal Yourself From Disappointment"
beneficiaries[]
max_accepted_payout1,000,000.000 HBD
percent_hbd10,000
post_id819,005
net_rshares267,779,857
author_curate_reward""
vote details (1)
@linkback-bot-v0 ·
<div>  <p>  This post has been linked to from another place on Steem.  </p>  <ul>        <li>      <a href="https://steemit.com/life/@dragonslayer109/daily-pick-of-hidden-gems-25"> Daily pick of hidden gems #25 </a>      by      <a href="https://steemit.com/@dragonslayer109">  @dragonslayer109 </a>     </li>      </ul>  <p> Learn more about  <a href="https://steemit.com/steem/@ontofractal/steem-linkback-bot-v0-3-released">    linkback bot v0.3</a>   </p>   <p>Upvote if you want the bot to continue posting linkbacks for your posts. Flag if otherwise.   Built by @ontofractal</p></div>
properties (22)
authorlinkback-bot-v0
permlinkre-erikaharris-how-to-heal-yourself-from-disappointment-linkbacks
categorydisappointment
json_metadata{}
created2016-09-11 04:02:57
last_update2016-09-11 04:02:57
depth1
children0
last_payout2016-09-14 23:10:21
cashout_time1969-12-31 23:59:59
total_payout_value0.000 HBD
curator_payout_value0.000 HBD
pending_payout_value0.000 HBD
promoted0.000 HBD
body_length589
author_reputation1,915,954,976,722
root_title"How To Heal Yourself From Disappointment"
beneficiaries[]
max_accepted_payout1,000,000.000 HBD
percent_hbd10,000
post_id1,204,493
net_rshares0
@mikeonfire ·
Couldn't you file this under unrealistic expectations? I tend to think this is when one expects something that another or oneself isn't capable or willing to deliver. At the point of this discovery it could be about re-framing the expectation, communicating the disappointment and asking for help. I suppose that could go on forever if one is stubborn or has allot of willpower.
👍  
properties (23)
authormikeonfire
permlinkre-erikaharris-how-to-heal-yourself-from-disappointment-20160815t122555911z
categorydisappointment
json_metadata{"tags":["disappointment"]}
created2016-08-15 12:25:57
last_update2016-08-15 12:25:57
depth1
children1
last_payout2016-09-14 23:10:21
cashout_time1969-12-31 23:59:59
total_payout_value0.000 HBD
curator_payout_value0.000 HBD
pending_payout_value0.000 HBD
promoted0.000 HBD
body_length378
author_reputation8,540,272,062,408
root_title"How To Heal Yourself From Disappointment"
beneficiaries[]
max_accepted_payout1,000,000.000 HBD
percent_hbd10,000
post_id815,772
net_rshares267,779,857
author_curate_reward""
vote details (1)
@erikaharris · (edited)
... or has a lot of love for the other :-)

Excellent points, @mikeonfire! I agree. Managing expectations (both those we have of others, and the ones others have of us) is a huge part of being in relationship with another person. Whether a child, a lover, a client, a friend, a sibling, etc.... all relations have some aspect of this at play. How wonderful then to reach for and practice mature and honest communication.
👍  
properties (23)
authorerikaharris
permlinkre-mikeonfire-re-erikaharris-how-to-heal-yourself-from-disappointment-20160815t145141150z
categorydisappointment
json_metadata{"tags":["disappointment"],"users":["mikeonfire"]}
created2016-08-15 14:51:42
last_update2016-08-15 14:59:03
depth2
children0
last_payout2016-09-14 23:10:21
cashout_time1969-12-31 23:59:59
total_payout_value0.000 HBD
curator_payout_value0.000 HBD
pending_payout_value0.000 HBD
promoted0.000 HBD
body_length420
author_reputation50,330,468,814,940
root_title"How To Heal Yourself From Disappointment"
beneficiaries[]
max_accepted_payout1,000,000.000 HBD
percent_hbd10,000
post_id817,810
net_rshares59,482,963
author_curate_reward""
vote details (1)
@peoplepower66 ·
Thank you Erika.. a wonderful article - very informative and uplifting.
properties (22)
authorpeoplepower66
permlinkre-erikaharris-how-to-heal-yourself-from-disappointment-20160818t153836960z
categorydisappointment
json_metadata{"tags":["disappointment"]}
created2016-08-18 15:38:39
last_update2016-08-18 15:38:39
depth1
children1
last_payout2016-09-14 23:10:21
cashout_time1969-12-31 23:59:59
total_payout_value0.000 HBD
curator_payout_value0.000 HBD
pending_payout_value0.000 HBD
promoted0.000 HBD
body_length71
author_reputation44,640,577
root_title"How To Heal Yourself From Disappointment"
beneficiaries[]
max_accepted_payout1,000,000.000 HBD
percent_hbd10,000
post_id872,461
net_rshares0
@erikaharris ·
Thanks for receiving it, @peoplepower66 :-)
properties (22)
authorerikaharris
permlinkre-peoplepower66-re-erikaharris-how-to-heal-yourself-from-disappointment-20160819t002659274z
categorydisappointment
json_metadata{"tags":["disappointment"],"users":["peoplepower66"]}
created2016-08-19 00:27:00
last_update2016-08-19 00:27:00
depth2
children0
last_payout2016-09-14 23:10:21
cashout_time1969-12-31 23:59:59
total_payout_value0.000 HBD
curator_payout_value0.000 HBD
pending_payout_value0.000 HBD
promoted0.000 HBD
body_length43
author_reputation50,330,468,814,940
root_title"How To Heal Yourself From Disappointment"
beneficiaries[]
max_accepted_payout1,000,000.000 HBD
percent_hbd10,000
post_id880,620
net_rshares0
@tedvernon ·
A let down is simply a release of milk from the breast.
👍  ,
properties (23)
authortedvernon
permlinkre-erikaharris-how-to-heal-yourself-from-disappointment-20160815t062730738z
categorydisappointment
json_metadata{"tags":["disappointment"]}
created2016-08-15 06:27:36
last_update2016-08-15 06:27:36
depth1
children1
last_payout2016-09-14 23:10:21
cashout_time1969-12-31 23:59:59
total_payout_value0.000 HBD
curator_payout_value0.000 HBD
pending_payout_value0.000 HBD
promoted0.000 HBD
body_length55
author_reputation919,624,422,272
root_title"How To Heal Yourself From Disappointment"
beneficiaries[]
max_accepted_payout1,000,000.000 HBD
percent_hbd10,000
post_id812,502
net_rshares2,075,738,680
author_curate_reward""
vote details (2)
@erikaharris ·
Haha, hilarious re-frame, @tedvernon! Thanks for adding lightness to a somber topic. :-)
👍  
properties (23)
authorerikaharris
permlinkre-tedvernon-re-erikaharris-how-to-heal-yourself-from-disappointment-20160815t063519771z
categorydisappointment
json_metadata{"tags":["disappointment"],"users":["tedvernon"]}
created2016-08-15 06:35:21
last_update2016-08-15 06:35:21
depth2
children0
last_payout2016-09-14 23:10:21
cashout_time1969-12-31 23:59:59
total_payout_value0.000 HBD
curator_payout_value0.000 HBD
pending_payout_value0.000 HBD
promoted0.000 HBD
body_length88
author_reputation50,330,468,814,940
root_title"How To Heal Yourself From Disappointment"
beneficiaries[]
max_accepted_payout1,000,000.000 HBD
percent_hbd10,000
post_id812,573
net_rshares1,771,061,704
author_curate_reward""
vote details (1)