>but they (the Teslas) could issue new shares for existing shareholders to purchase

That's not how it works in traditional stock markets. The traditional companies cannot just issue new shares out of thin air. 

If you're talking about Bonus stocks / stock split it works differently. If TSLA stock is trading at $1000 a stock for a face value of $10 stock for example, you'll find less people interested in buying it. So when TSLA offers a stock 1:1 split, they reduce the face value too. 

So the net effect after the stock split is zero, the stock price becomes $500 and the face value also becomes $5. So instead of holding 1 stock worth $1000 you're now holding 2 stocks worth $1000. You're more likely to buy a $500 stock than a $1000. So this increases the liquidity in the markets.

And about the big revelation - The XVG market tanked the day when the announcement happened. That in itself speaks volumes. No one pays for porn except already rich weirdos. It's not meant to last long, and pardon the pun. :D