Hello 🤗

It's been a while I've been active on this community and to say the least I've missed and I hope someone... Anyone misses me too🥺😥


![IMG-20221004-WA0034.jpg](https://files.peakd.com/file/peakd-hive/feesbamz/23uFKcAWqNo5WSJB2ZHrx18tVGbgCxJWv5ZNGf7nLa2NX1d2gbiUH4cemwQdZRxQmLmwY.jpg)


I'm writing this particular post to free my mind in some way and to tell my viewers why I've been gone for months ( went awol).

   First and foremost I'd like to apologize for leaving abruptly, I'm very sorry😔 buh I believe you should read to the end and understand me better☹️ the reason I did.

As a student ( at final level) I've been anticipating my graduation and service in few months time (that's around january). Did our final exams and was waiting to finish our projects, clearances and all that's expected of us, only to read the breaking news that the school is on strike 😥, it was so disheartening though it was a warning strike then and we were hoping it'll not last long before they call off, seems we were being too optimistic (unfortunately 😥) cos they only called of the warning strike for like a week only to start an indefinite strike🤦🙇. 

  At first I saw it as an opportunity to nurse my fashion design career and started to learn full time. At some point reality start setting in for me in terms of stability (be it psychological or financial). It start lagging at work, i started thinking more, started withdrawing from people, you want to ask why? Then read further
   Firstly, As someone who's not born with a silver spoon in my mouth, neither influential nor wealthy I'm already at a disadvantage in the community I found myself (I'm on my own)

   Secondly, all the opportunities I've seen to be employed in good paying jobs became void cos I don't have a certificate yet

   Thirdly, to keep up paying bills here and there became an hurdle... I can go on and on.
I began getting lost in my head🤦, my mental health started deteriorating, physically i wasn't ok (became lean and disorganized) buh I couldn't complain, who am I to? My self esteem were flashing red buh I couldn't help any of these. Depression is real!☹️😥

   With all these going on in my head what could I have done? How wouldn't I withdraw? I'm not someone that talks Abt my emotions or even have someone to talk to about it, but I blame no one cos everyone has their own cross to bear and I truly understand, I even hate bothering someone else with my ordeal, even my parents. If you know my personally u will know I'm always the cheerful, smiley face and jovial person, but also I can be very quiet about my pains, i got so good at hiding my emotions over the years.
 
   I had to blogging all together cos it's seems i wasn't consistent with Anything anymore except brooding, and few necessities. In this era we are even if it's only financial instability you're facing it's enough reason to b depressed 😔 talk more of more reasons so, I'm trying to write out my mind (as a means of an outlet) to free up my mind  cos I believe the hive society isn't judgemental 🤗🤗 and also trying to socialize. So I'd like to ask these questions to my viewers

What else do you suggest I do to lighten my mood and take my mind off depressing thoughts so I can get my life back on track😥?

How do you suggest I stop hiding to figure out myself🥺?

Would you like to be my social friend?🥺

# Thanks for reading to the end 🤗 your comment and suggestions are welcome ☺️