I was going to write the post you expected, "How to succeed at writing", but the first point, <code>1) Write about what you know best.</code> kinda ruined that whole thing for me. Instead I am going to write about the parts of a writing career I know intimately and completely. <center><H2>How to fail at Writing</H2><p>http://www.steemimg.com/images/2016/12/19/narrative-794978_960_720b086b.md.jpg</center> 1) Don't write. If you do write, don't write every day. You are more likely to fail the less you write. If you can squeeze a couple of years in between writing, you will have almost no chance of succeeding. 2) Don't let other people see your work. Don't ask them for advice, certainly don't attend writers groups and accept professional criticism or try to implement the ideas you learn. Much better to write in your room, and hide it under the dresser. 3) Write how you speak. Even throw in "um"s or long "........."s for when you have to think about what you say. Try a funky new type of indentation, capitalization or punctuation. A few seconds of trying to figure that out will make people who accidently find your sporadic work under the dresser raise their eyebrows and put it back, then back slowly away, hands open and slightly away from their sides. 4) Perhaps most importantly, read the greats of your chosen genre, not to learn how to do what they do, but to point out to yourself how you could never do that. Read modern masters and history's legends. Explain to yourself that they probably had inspiration from large amounts of alcohol and drugs. Also imagine that some spent years not writing between producing masterpieces and that sometimes manuscripts were found under their dressers after they died. 5) But above all, if you absolutely refuse to do any of the above, then it is crucial that you follow this last bit of instruction. Show it to your mom, your new girlfriend, get the people at work to promise to read it, and when each of them tell you how wonderful it is, believe them and do not bother editing it. Because they certainly read it and have the skills to critique the work. They would have said something if there was any little thing wrong. Send it in without a single revision. Then you too can achieve the goal I set for you at the top of this page, and you will have learned How to Fail at Writing.
| author | fiction-trail |
|---|---|
| permlink | how-to-fail-at-writing |
| category | fiction |
| json_metadata | {"tags":["fiction","writing","succeed","fail"],"image":["http://www.steemimg.com/images/2016/12/19/narrative-794978_960_720b086b.md.jpg"],"app":"steemit/0.1","format":"markdown"} |
| created | 2017-01-03 01:50:42 |
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Might I add a few? 6) Expect absolute perfection. You can't possibly write anything if you want it to be the world's greatest written work straight out of the box. If you can't have instant success, don't even try. 7) Get obsessed with editing. It's got to be perfect, right? So that accidental couple of sentences you wrote just has to be rewritten into oblivion. 8) Over-procrastinate. A little bit of dithering is key to the creative process, so a LOT of dithering has to make you SUPER creative, right? Of course! So go on and try to beat that level of Half-life. Fame is certain to be yours. This was immense fun :D Excellent stuff.
| author | internutter |
|---|---|
| permlink | re-fiction-trail-how-to-fail-at-writing-20170103t030346350z |
| category | fiction |
| json_metadata | {"tags":["fiction"]} |
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I'm still editing 40 year old stuff.
| author | fiction-trail |
|---|---|
| permlink | re-internutter-re-fiction-trail-how-to-fail-at-writing-20170103t054955096z |
| category | fiction |
| json_metadata | {"tags":["fiction"]} |
| created | 2017-01-03 05:49:57 |
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I like to stand in the shower with a notebook and tape recorder.
| author | jacobts |
|---|---|
| permlink | re-fiction-trail-how-to-fail-at-writing-20170103t203220494z |
| category | fiction |
| json_metadata | {"tags":["fiction"]} |
| created | 2017-01-03 20:32:15 |
| last_update | 2017-01-03 20:32:15 |
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| root_title | "How to fail at Writing" |
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That could work, for a second.
| author | fiction-trail |
|---|---|
| permlink | re-jacobts-re-fiction-trail-how-to-fail-at-writing-20170103t221131443z |
| category | fiction |
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| created | 2017-01-03 22:11:33 |
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<p>This post has been ranked within the top 25 most undervalued posts in the first half of Jan 03. We estimate that this post is undervalued by $10.42 as compared to a scenario in which every voter had an equal say.</p> <p>See the full rankings and details in <a href="https://steemit.com/curation/@screenname/the-daily-tribune-most-undervalued-posts-of-jan-03---part-i">The Daily Tribune: Jan 03 - Part I</a>. You can also read about some of our methodology, data analysis and technical details in <a href="https://steemit.com/curation/@screenname/introducing-the-daily-tribune-most-undervalued-posts-of-nov-04---part-i">our initial post</a>.</p> <p>If you are the author and would prefer not to receive these comments, simply reply "Stop" to this comment.</p>
| author | screenname |
|---|---|
| permlink | re-how-to-fail-at-writing-20170103t131015 |
| category | fiction |
| json_metadata | "{"replyto": "@fiction-trail/how-to-fail-at-writing"}" |
| created | 2017-01-03 13:10:15 |
| last_update | 2017-01-03 13:10:15 |
| depth | 1 |
| children | 0 |
| last_payout | 2017-02-03 06:39:09 |
| cashout_time | 1969-12-31 23:59:59 |
| total_payout_value | 0.000 HBD |
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| root_title | "How to fail at Writing" |
| beneficiaries | [] |
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| post_id | 2,148,703 |
| net_rshares | 0 |
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| author | steemtrail |
|---|---|
| permlink | re-fiction-trail-how-to-fail-at-writing-20170103t042045892z |
| category | fiction |
| json_metadata | {"tags":["fiction"],"users":["fiction-trail"],"image":["http://i.imgur.com/vs9Ai7I.png"],"links":["https://discord.gg/w4sdqkS"]} |
| created | 2017-01-03 04:20:45 |
| last_update | 2017-01-03 04:20:45 |
| depth | 1 |
| children | 0 |
| last_payout | 2017-02-03 06:39:09 |
| cashout_time | 1969-12-31 23:59:59 |
| total_payout_value | 0.999 HBD |
| curator_payout_value | 0.065 HBD |
| pending_payout_value | 0.000 HBD |
| promoted | 0.000 HBD |
| body_length | 605 |
| author_reputation | 263,209,530,304,931 |
| root_title | "How to fail at Writing" |
| beneficiaries | [] |
| max_accepted_payout | 1,000,000.000 HBD |
| percent_hbd | 10,000 |
| post_id | 2,145,970 |
| net_rshares | 10,150,040,848,608 |
| author_curate_reward | "" |
| voter | weight | wgt% | rshares | pct | time |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| fuzzyvest | 0 | 5,094,358,861,811 | 100% | ||
| pairmike | 0 | 24,842,542,087 | 100% | ||
| hcf27 | 0 | 5,959,858,806 | 100% | ||
| instructor2121 | 0 | 49,379,642,041 | 100% | ||
| drinkzya | 0 | 29,562,015,348 | 100% | ||
| pangur-ban | 0 | 1,635,130,909 | 100% | ||
| ratel | 0 | 19,507,251,095 | 100% | ||
| thecryptodrive | 0 | 121,109,923,732 | 100% | ||
| grandpere | 0 | 28,924,929,106 | 80% | ||
| albertogm | 0 | 10,955,115,715 | 100% | ||
| crok | 0 | 4,705,307,262 | 100% | ||
| christoph3 | 0 | 7,209,295,009 | 100% | ||
| tyler-fletcher | 0 | 3,887,414,757 | 100% | ||
| razvanelulmarin | 0 | 94,841,513,360 | 100% | ||
| clement | 0 | 12,349,334,460 | 100% | ||
| isteemit | 0 | 60,742,383,969 | 100% | ||
| skapaneas | 0 | 11,781,935,179 | 100% | ||
| venuspcs | 0 | 69,123,186,574 | 100% | ||
| stranger27 | 0 | 6,127,434,464 | 60% | ||
| ausbitbank | 0 | 67,714,395,719 | 100% | ||
| mrwang | 0 | 53,959,140,675 | 100% | ||
| vl248 | 0 | 9,374,647,429 | 100% | ||
| jaycobbell | 0 | 10,134,317,156 | 100% | ||
| condra | 0 | 47,685,453,120 | 100% | ||
| raymondspeaks | 0 | 3,241,479,575 | 100% | ||
| krystle | 0 | 19,488,395,662 | 100% | ||
| arcange | 0 | 62,615,922,466 | 100% | ||
| cryptojoy.com | 0 | 951,935,195 | 100% | ||
| fiona777 | 0 | 4,902,477,381 | 100% | ||
| phenom | 0 | 7,282,568,667 | 100% | ||
| bitcoiner | 0 | 43,816,037,779 | 100% | ||
| jedau | 0 | 6,674,403,996 | 100% | ||
| kooshikoo | 0 | 2,924,719,373 | 10% | ||
| tygergamer | 0 | 11,737,729,185 | 100% | ||
| jed78 | 0 | 10,281,118,359 | 100% | ||
| steemdrive | 0 | 110,364,965,447 | 100% | ||
| always1success | 0 | 5,398,641,061 | 100% | ||
| stephen.king989 | 0 | 14,150,286,287 | 50% | ||
| steemleak | 0 | 5,902,051,797 | 100% | ||
| shiri | 0 | 1,470,444,311 | 100% | ||
| d3nv3r | 0 | 2,475,742,879 | 100% | ||
| bigsambucca | 0 | 478,459,289 | 100% | ||
| steemradio | 0 | 730,490,422 | 100% | ||
| vegascomic | 0 | 15,054,538,295 | 100% | ||
| nextgen622 | 0 | 603,776,582 | 1% | ||
| cryptoblu | 0 | 91,056,000 | 100% | ||
| instructor | 0 | 58,043,763 | 100% | ||
| jayfox | 0 | 1,487,537,402 | 100% | ||
| seadroo22 | 0 | 3,540,619,112 | 100% | ||
| dollarvigilante | 0 | 1,133,512,164,268 | 100% | ||
| serejandmyself | 0 | 239,586,211,389 | 100% | ||
| mrlogic | 0 | 18,569,433,470 | 100% | ||
| barrycooper | 0 | 152,851,263,362 | 100% | ||
| sethlinson | 0 | 16,520,460,152 | 100% | ||
| hilarski | 0 | 158,667,774,609 | 100% | ||
| imag1ne | 0 | 2,451,647,064 | 50% | ||
| shadowspub | 0 | 9,977,123,631 | 50% | ||
| davidkingns | 0 | 4,184,828,933 | 50% | ||
| rickmiller | 0 | 54,052,238 | 100% | ||
| nulliusinverba | 0 | 2,472,454,474 | 100% | ||
| mikehere | 0 | 21,619,361,470 | 100% | ||
| l0k1 | 0 | 3,778,996,197 | 10% | ||
| maryfromsochi | 0 | 3,372,399,309 | 100% | ||
| zettar | 0 | 1,495,704,967 | 100% | ||
| renzoarg | 0 | 10,749,104,929 | 100% | ||
| finleyexp | 0 | 3,476,356,150 | 100% | ||
| dexter-k | 0 | 64,679,738,118 | 100% | ||
| charlieshrem | 0 | 1,703,096,762,259 | 100% | ||
| tracemayer | 0 | 13,119,984,334 | 100% | ||
| burnin | 0 | 7,757,302,363 | 100% | ||
| ballinconscious | 0 | 6,297,898,867 | 100% | ||
| develcuy | 0 | 4,884,386,929 | 100% | ||
| stringer | 0 | 353,478,862 | 50% | ||
| teemsteem | 0 | 97,058,919 | 100% | ||
| haphazard-hstead | 0 | 18,662,597,037 | 100% | ||
| luzcypher | 0 | 68,971,373,254 | 100% | ||
| grisha-danunaher | 0 | 11,868,187,062 | 60% | ||
| dylanhobalart | 0 | 4,852,350,713 | 100% | ||
| killbis | 0 | 6,383,849,875 | 100% | ||
| gamer00 | 0 | 50,484,144,742 | 100% | ||
| steemtrail | 0 | 15,205,147,105 | 100% | ||
| marialin | 0 | 1,798,318,895 | 100% | ||
| tdv.witness | 0 | 25,921,622,222 | 100% | ||
| ianboil | 0 | 1,801,342,737 | 100% | ||
| ebryans | 0 | 3,352,067,463 | 100% | ||
| jessamynorchard | 0 | 18,027,348,184 | 100% | ||
| garvofe | 0 | 2,338,846,712 | 100% | ||
| gardening-trail | 0 | 1,623,961,639 | 100% | ||
| business-trail | 0 | 921,669,950 | 100% | ||
| crypto-trail | 0 | 333,873,155 | 100% | ||
| foraging-trail | 0 | 1,012,377,611 | 100% | ||
| baerdric | 0 | 22,305,099,893 | 100% | ||
| alex1983ch | 0 | 3,586,493,865 | 100% | ||
| taskmanager | 0 | 52,753,067,704 | 100% | ||
| songkran | 0 | 250,070,608 | 100% | ||
| val-c | 0 | 250,023,429 | 100% | ||
| bittrax | 0 | 401,550,599 | 100% | ||
| polloniex | 0 | 400,317,159 | 100% | ||
| meysam | 0 | 2,158,120,714 | 100% | ||
| pizzagate-trail | 0 | 2,178,702,616 | 100% | ||
| codydeeds | 0 | 5,847,382,824 | 100% | ||
| dxrafi | 0 | 949,130,667 | 100% | ||
| simply1moore | 0 | 828,245,017 | 100% | ||
| tamersameeh | 0 | 384,675,518 | 100% | ||
| triddin | 0 | 58,100,873,621 | 100% | ||
| fiction-trail | 0 | 867,598,687 | 100% |
Oh, and once you βfinishβ it, print out copies of your entire manuscript and just send it with a form letter to every single publisher you can find addresses for, and email it to their email addresses for good measure, all at once. It's purely a numbers game. You're sure to hit the jackpot with at least one of them!
| author | triddin |
|---|---|
| permlink | re-fiction-trail-how-to-fail-at-writing-20170103t040409143z |
| category | fiction |
| json_metadata | {"tags":["fiction"]} |
| created | 2017-01-03 04:04:09 |
| last_update | 2017-01-03 04:04:09 |
| depth | 1 |
| children | 1 |
| last_payout | 2017-02-03 06:39:09 |
| cashout_time | 1969-12-31 23:59:59 |
| total_payout_value | 0.000 HBD |
| curator_payout_value | 0.000 HBD |
| pending_payout_value | 0.000 HBD |
| promoted | 0.000 HBD |
| body_length | 319 |
| author_reputation | 6,654,071,689,541 |
| root_title | "How to fail at Writing" |
| beneficiaries | [] |
| max_accepted_payout | 1,000,000.000 HBD |
| percent_hbd | 10,000 |
| post_id | 2,145,877 |
| net_rshares | 0 |
That should work!8-D
| author | fiction-trail |
|---|---|
| permlink | re-triddin-re-fiction-trail-how-to-fail-at-writing-20170103t055102998z |
| category | fiction |
| json_metadata | {"tags":["fiction"]} |
| created | 2017-01-03 05:51:06 |
| last_update | 2017-01-03 05:51:06 |
| depth | 2 |
| children | 0 |
| last_payout | 2017-02-03 06:39:09 |
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| author_reputation | 13,834,769,401,436 |
| root_title | "How to fail at Writing" |
| beneficiaries | [] |
| max_accepted_payout | 1,000,000.000 HBD |
| percent_hbd | 10,000 |
| post_id | 2,146,521 |
| net_rshares | 0 |
hiveblocks