We nowadays have a gender ideology that is no longer based on science. It claims that there is no intrinsic difference between men and women and all observed discrepancies are due to a wrong education or descrimination. The conclusion is that even more must be done to turn boys into valuable human beings that live up to these unrealistic ideological expectations. 

Male children are born and grow up in an extremely female world. From daycare to elementary school there is likely no grown up man present. The father (and also the mother) at home likely have very little time they can spend with their children and are quickly trying to manage everything without any free time left. Small children likely interact with a grown man only for few minutes of their day. 

![compiti.jpeg](https://cdn.steemitimages.com/DQmcquiLMHNWjQRSKExaADWbyDDxqyKMxyEK7LTA5Sihn3M/compiti.jpeg)
[source](https://catania.liveuniversity.it/2017/09/06/addio-compiti-a-casa-prende-via-nuovo-progetto-miur/)

This brings two problems. 
First the boys are lacking male identification figures. They are then forced to imitate each other while being uncertain about male expectations.
Secondly, the female dominance in early education causes the activities of the group to be much better tailored to the capabilities and interests of the girls. Boys natural interests are not supported or even repressed. Sitting and learning to write as beautiful as possible may be great for most girls, but is an absolute horror for most boys. 

Confused and without orientation the boys suffer in silence. But as they get older this turns into aggressive and unsocial behaviour. The boys are forced into a system that is deeply unnatural for them and not knowing how to behave they use violence as a way to express their suffering. Then other boys copy them because they think that this is what men are supposed to do. 

![o-BULLIED-KID-HEAD-DOWN-facebook.jpeg](https://cdn.steemitimages.com/DQmYNr5FbmZ1pc6FtGhXUfXRbdBV5E587kJimBUzNbXHFo8/o-BULLIED-KID-HEAD-DOWN-facebook.jpeg)
[source](https://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/11/08/bullying-public-health-issue_n_4241468.html)

When the boys get older another insult is added. They learn that everything male is primitive and should be suppressed. Confused about themselves, their role and what is wrong with themselves boys stay far below their potential.  Suicides among young adults are mostly male, men very often disassociate from the real world and escape into artificial and simpler worlds. Even though there is only a small difference in IQ, the boys grades are far worse than the ones of their female peers. After leaving school almost all of the worst and most dangerous jobs are filled by men. 

The implications of this failure of education against the boys affect the entire society. Equality is not reached by suppressing and reeducating men. In contrast it is reached by accepting the uniqueness of each individual. 

Men and women are not identical, there are many differences. But differences among individuals are much larger. Instead of restructuring a society that had one expectation for men and a different one for women into a society that shares a single unrealistic expectation for everyone and tries to back that up by policies and forcing people into that vision, its time to accept that there does not need to be a predetermined path. Every individual should be free to accept themselves as they are and find their own path.

We need to respect the individual especially in the education of children. More freedom to pursue wild, dirty and uncontrolled activities are needed. The goal is not to take different children and mold them into the same characterless citizen, but to accept their uniqueness and truly respect it. Secure and strong people do not hate and do not support violence. Toxic masculinity is an expression of insecurity, suffering and helplessness.