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Detachment and growth by galenkp

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· @galenkp ·
$48.94
Detachment and growth
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<center>![1 (1).jpg](https://files.peakd.com/file/peakd-hive/galenkp/EqYshmJJ1LT2fhRgpNMwk4RZ7jJ9wvqMsrHDCdXaMhu95zgXKhGcvzhYMKJMWg2VWmP.jpg)
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<center>*Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.*</center>

<center>**- Viktor E. Frankl -**</center>
***
***

Yesterday I was thinking without the pressures of work and general life as I had a moment to myself. As I reflected, I found my mind drifting to the past and the things I've done and have been done to me - the experiences - and that led me to think about the *thoughts, attitudes and actions* those experiences have been responsible for. I'm not proud of all of them, I've done some bad things but, that aside, all of the combined experiences and reactions have also brought an opportunity to grow and develop and that's a good thing because I've moved in directions I can truly call positive, and be proud of.

I have a notebook, I've mentioned it before, full of quotes from other people, I've handwritten over the last twenty five years; each has a date of entry and notes outlining what that quote meant to me and why. It's very tattered now, stained and dog-eared (like me) but is one of my most valued possessions as it outlines *my actual thoughts and feelings throughout some of the most challenging years of my life*. I flicked through it yesterday, in my reflective mood, and came across the quote I've written above by Frankl. It's self-explanatory however, considering my reflective thoughts, it stood out. 

I won't say the exact details of what was happening in my life at the time I wrote it in my book but I did so to remind myself of the importance of that space, the *detachment* between something happening and my response to it. that Frankl refers to. I wrote it on October 19th 1998 after I'd reacted efficiently and within the rules, but incorrectly, to a situation that had serious ramifications for others and (ultimately) myself - it's something I think about a lot and have to *deal with each day.* 

> Life is a collection of time, days in a row, and only moves in one direction.

So, yesterday I was thinking that *how many days we live isn't within our ability to control however we can take those days and shape them into what we would like them to be*, to some degree anyway. We can't always affect what happens to us, the experiences we have, but we can *always choose how we react to them*, how we allow them to affect us, shape and create us. I guess I mean, *we can create ourselves and our lives* to some degree and it's through our thoughts and attitudes we do that and it's how we create ourselves that brings meaning to those days in a row. 

I like what Frankl indicates in this quote; he was a wise man who went through more than most human beings could endure. He talks about the space between the moment of life and what happens there, *in between.* 

> Detachment and growth

That space he refers to is what I would call a detachment - putting a gap between something occurring in our lives and our reaction to it. I look back at my life and see that I've done that (reasonably) well, and done it very poorly, and on each occasion have made the choice to act in a particular way, rightly or wrongly. I've owned it though, that's something else I learned in life: Ownership and responsibility.

Growth, development and ultimate *freedom* in life depends largely on what we ourselves do, what we choose to think and how we choose to act, and I firmly believe in finding that space Frankl speaks of - the detachment - before choices are made; that's one of the most valuable lessons I've learned.  

> In the image I used I see new life springing forth from a long-dead fence post, a *change from what was to what can be*, and I figure a human can do the same. My mistakes and failures have become valuable lessons I use to my advantage and throughout life I've learned many things: 

*How to apologise and mean it, to be humble and kind, to fight courageously and fiercely and love with passion. I've developed a code of honour and integrity and found the ownership, responsibility and discipline to follow it and I've learned that I'm not always right, and neither do I need to be. I've learned to accept my past knowing that I acted under orders, out of ignorance, fear, bravado or based upon the understanding I had at the time. I've learned to release regret as it's unproductive, and I've learned to be steadfast, resolute and true to my word. I've learned that I have a lot to lose and much to give...and that I have nothing without the love of others and for myself. I learned that quitting isn't in my nature and about my ability to carry burdens, to lift heavy shit...I've learned so much more in life as well, and all because of my mistakes, failures, success, the experiences I've had and the choices I made in the small spaces between them and between experience and reaction. It's been a good life...and fortunately it continues.*

> In that gap between stimulus and response is *thought, attitude, choice and action*. 

I can't speak for other people, I'm just me, but in my reflections yesterday I found contentment and *satisfaction* in respect of my life and who I am now. There's been many bad things packed into my life but alongside have been so many amazing experiences as well. It's each of these combined that has brought me to this moment and to this person, *the flawed and fallible human knucklehead writing this post*, and it's each of those things that have helped me design and create my ideal life, or work towards it at least.
***

If you have any thoughts, feel free to comment below as I'm interested to know them, how you feel or think about the above words and how they may relate or align, or go completely against your own thoughts. Maybe you'll want to write out some of those things you've learned in your own *days in a row*...So, find the space between stimulus and response, make a choice, and take action in the comments below should you wish to.


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***
Design and create your ideal life, don't live it by default; tomorrow isn't promised so be humble and kind - galenkp

[All original and proudly AI free.]

<sub><sub>Any images in this post are my own.</sub></sub>
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@balikis95 ·
$0.12
This is exactly what I need to hear. Self-reflective post on things I have done, still do, and those I will do.

Our attitudes to things or people in life have shaped us differently. No one is a saint. We all have that stain that has shaped us into who we are today.

There are things I have done that I am not proud of; Some were done to gain freedom and others were done because that was how I understood them.

There are also things that I have done that had shaped me into who I am today. Things I am proud of and will do again if they ever occur.

Everything I have done, the pains I endure, the stinging feeling that still stung my heart whenever I am reminded of them, the joy, sorrow, and all the negativity and positivity have led me here.

I have outgrown some things, and grown in others, and the beautiful part of it all is that... I am learning, each day to be better in all I do.
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@galenkp ·
We are all products of experience, happenstance and our own choices and actions. I think the fortunate ones are those who understand that, own it, and work towards better outcomes like you have. 

I'm glad you found something you liked in this post, these reflective pieces are often so personal that others may not relate. 
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@balikis95 ·
Yes, I agree. Experiences have shaped us in life. No wonder they call it the best teacher of all time. It teaches us in different ways which are very well understood as we know, "Once bitten, twice shy".

I relate well with the post because it is personal. It reminded me of a conversation I had with a close friend last night who kept getting downvotes on his post. He had to trail the downvoters and was told someone who they had a beef with upvoted him.

It was sad hearing that but he is a strong person and he understands life. *"Things happen sometimes, especially when you don't plan for them to"*. His reaction to this all is what I admire about him cos he kept on writing nevertheless.
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@botefarm ·
> Growth, development and ultimate freedom in life depend largely on what we do

Yes,  what we do consistently is what we called growth, Whether negative or positive, growth is growth, development on the other hand is synonymous  with growth, ultimate freedom in life is what we have achieved with our growth over time and the personal development we have accrued over time. 

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@buckaroobaby ·
$0.06
How do I feel.....how do I feel
I feel that proudly AI free is absolutely fabulous
I also feel that your photo is truly amazing. It shows thought and not detachment. I love the growth from what could be dead. And that vibrant field of sunflowers in the distance against the stunning blue stretch of sky. Ah bliss.
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@galenkp ·
Mighty good feelings I'd say, and ones that will probably bring more of the same. 
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@ecency ·
**Yay!** 🤗<br>Your content has been **boosted with Ecency Points**, by @balikis95. <br>Use Ecency daily to boost your growth on platform! <br><br><b>Support Ecency</b><br>[Vote for new Proposal](https://hivesigner.com/sign/update-proposal-votes?proposal_ids=%5B245%5D&approve=true)<br>[Delegate HP and earn more](https://ecency.com/hive-125125/@ecency/daily-100-curation-rewards)
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@hivebuzz ·
Congratulations @galenkp! You have completed the following achievement on the Hive blockchain And have been rewarded with New badge(s)

<table><tr><td><img src="https://images.hive.blog/60x60/http://hivebuzz.me/badges/postallweek.png"></td><td>You have been a buzzy bee and published a post every day of the week.</td></tr>
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<sub>_You can view your badges on [your board](https://hivebuzz.me/@galenkp) and compare yourself to others in the [Ranking](https://hivebuzz.me/ranking)_</sub>
<sub>_If you no longer want to receive notifications, reply to this comment with the word_ `STOP`</sub>



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@intishar ·
$0.06
Our past is like a mirror and shows us the reflection of ours means after a certain time we can truly realize that we made the right thing or the wrong thing. Our past send messages to our present that we made some mistakes and it's not necessary to make the same  mistakes again. We can do the correct thing and make us much better than our past. 


>I wrote it on October 19th 1998

1998, my birth year and you wrote this before I arrived in this world. 


Thank you for sharing your life experience. 
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@galenkp ·
Yes, it does to some degree resemble a mirror, just one that can show potential futures based on how we interpret the past and change things into the future. 

> 1998, my birth year and you wrote this before I arrived in this world.

Yeah, it seems bonkers that I am the oldest living dinosaur right? In 1998 I was 28 and had lived a lot of life...my quote notebook contains a lot of it and it's good referring back to it nowadays. There's a lot to be learned from the past for those open to it and willing to be honest and courageous enough to make changes into the future. Good luck. 
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@jacobtothe ·
$0.12
There used to be a trend to writing *commonplace books* with quotations, reference notes, and brief commentaries. Some ahd more of a scrapbook aspect, others closer to a journal, but the root idea was one of useful information and relevant ideas as a personal chronicle. I don't know if I have mentioned this on your previous posts or not, but it's something more epople might want to consider keeping. Even if thoughts evolve over time, it is still a record of a personal journey of experience and growth. Alas, much of my writing is digital fluff on non-blockchain platforms, some gone forever. Physical notebooks and handwriting for the win!

And yes, regret can be a teacher or a noose. Choose which one carefully.
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@galenkp ·
$0.06
I've never seen my notebook as a journal although some may see it that way, a diary of sorts. It was always intended as a reference of quotes I liked but as I started adding notes into each entry (on the quote, why I wrote it, what was relevant in the moment etc.) I began to see it as more of a record. I'm glad I have it. No one has ever ever read it but me, I won't allow it, but I guess, after I'm gone, someone may. I wonder what they'll think of the *Chronicles of G-dog.* 

These days, I wonder how people get by in life without taking the pause (detachment) between stimulus and response. It seems that rapid decisions/choices is the way people tend to roll, I guess FOMO and all that bullshit has something to do with it. I'll do it my way though, as regret, as you rightly say, can often work out badly. 
👍  
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@jhymi ·
$0.11
That first quote is mind-blowing and I've dutifully added it to my list of inspiring quotes. I thought I was the only one who kept a book of quotes like that but unfortunately mine got missing so I document each beautiful quote I find, in my phone.
I've decided to live my life, not dwelling on regrets. Because each event in my life, each hard lesson learned has shaped me into being the person I am today.

The cause of most fights and wars and broken relationship is one wrong reply but thoroughly reflecting in that space between stimulus and response is what will make you take the right action. I !LUV it.
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@galenkp ·
Yeah, it's so simple but there's so much value in it right? 

Dwelling on regrets will retard a person's forward progress; regret is best left in the closet so that one can focus on the path forward and those things that will help pave it...and to prompt the first step.

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@luvshares ·
@galenkp, @jhymi<sub>(1/1)</sub> sent you LUV. | <a
    href="https://crrdlx.websavvy.work/" style="text-decoration:none">tools</a> | <a 
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    href="https://crrdlx.websavvy.work/wiki/doku.php?id=start" style="text-decoration:none">HiveWiki</a> | <a href="https://peakd.com/nftforpeace/@hivebuzz/nft-for-peace" target="_blank"><img src="https://files.peakd.com/file/peakd-hive/crrdlx/Epvkqd2sQEjZxu93x3A2J2fztKDarTY17qgMbpqWRV14NrfNBA6fu1jxtTkZztjXZKo.gif" target="_blank"><a href="https://peakd.com/nftforpeace/@hivebuzz/nft-for-peace" target="_blank">NFT</a> | <a href="https://ichthys.netlify.app" style="text-decoration:none"><>< daily</a>
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@joanstewart ·
> Ownership and responsibility

Own your mistakes, you got the Noddy badge.
Learn responsibly, try not to break yourself. 
No experience when not tried and tested, have fun just never hurt anyone else.
properties (22)
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@galenkp ·
Indeed. 
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@joanstewart ·
Have a great day, each is an experience on it's own....
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@kinganny ·
What a beautiful piece, thought provoking.
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@galenkp ·
Thanks. 
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@ladyrainbow ·
$0.14
The best growth doesn't come from good experiences, good times makes us over confident and complacent and that's just human nature. If you learned what you were supposed to  out of every situation you value even the worst ones the most because they give you the greatest knowledge and understanding of bigger things, gaining self awareness on how we impact others that we wouldn't have learned otherwise. Where it becomes a problem is when we repeat these failed cycles over and over. 

We are in control of how situations shape and affect us and how we react to them, there are no truer words ever spoken...hence we live and we learn. Detachment is the best way to get a third party view of the situation aka higher perspective.

It's cool that you have a book of quotes for that long!! It must be a nice tool to go back and reflect on. See your own growth over time. It's not always easy to see while distracted by hectic present lives and other forms of distractions but empowering to see how far we have come as individuals, sometimes that just the gas we need to take one more step.
👍  , , , , ,
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vote details (6)
@galenkp ·
I love good times, they put the less good (bad) into perspective and that's a good thing; the bad? Yeah, great lessons are found there as Viktor E. Frankl found...if it's good enough for him then I think it's good enough for everyone to do so. 

I like my book of quotes as it forms a record of me, my thoughts, mindset and attitudes, *and why I had them* for all those years. I add to it now and then however rarely a week goes by in which I don't open it a few times and flip through. I'd like to show it but I think it would be too personal and I don't believe that everything needs to be on the blockchain. Maybe one day I'll do a post on it but the notebook has no real relevance to anyone by me. 

I have thought though, I wonder what sort of book it would make...you know, all those *me-thoughts* collated in one place and presented as the life of G-dog. Hmm, I wonder what the title would be. *A dog's life.* Hmm, nah. How about *Barking Mad*. Maybe, *Wagging tales, a story of a G-dog.* 

I don't know, I'll not have to worry about it though, I'll not be writing the book. 
👍  ,
👎  
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vote details (3)
@ladyrainbow ·
Maybe we think reverse from each other haha...The bad makes us appreciate the good fully. Where as only good makes us take the calm for granted. 

It's good that you flip thru often Mr keeper of wisdom. Our blogs are just a different versions of it at the end of the day. No not everything belongs on the blockchain but it's all a matter of personal comfort. **no real relevance to anyone by me**-how do you know? A lot of youngsters here, maybe they look for wisdom too, a few tips on how to navigate thru life and maybe avoid some potholes with someone else's lesson or going thru so shit themselves...once again it's a matter of personal comfort. 

**"Barking Mad"** that's funny...Could be the G-Dog show-the good, the bad and the ugly- Woofers's I'm glad it's over!!

 Are you familiar with Karl Gustav Young? With his 50 shades of fucked he's a marvel and his own "Book of quotes" of his once personal "mad man" or "afflictions" as he calls it are the grand father of para psychology and dissecting the mind  is still well revered today that ppl pay good money for his translated diaries. Check out the lectures of the "Red Book" on you tube or the readers version is affordable too. (Amazon). 

There is a more expensive artsy version with calligraphy and his images for a hearty price that will eventually find it's way onto my bookshelf someday when I can justify spending $400 on a book. (for now I just have the cheap one).

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@old-man-chu58 ·
$0.13
It's wonderful to see how much growth and self-reflection you have accomplished over the years. It's not easy to acknowledge our past mistakes and failures, but it takes courage to do so and to use those experiences to shape us into better individuals. Your commitment to taking ownership and responsibility for your actions is admirable, and your willingness to learn from your past and use it to your advantage shows strength of character. Your notebook of quotes is a testament to your self-awareness and desire to continue learning and growing, and it's heartening to see how much you've come to appreciate the space between stimulus and response that allows for detachment and growth. Keep striving towards being the best version of yourself, and know that your experiences and the lessons you've learned can be an inspiration to others on their own journeys of self-improvement.
👍  , , , , ,
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vote details (6)
@galenkp ·
I wasn't always so reflective; as a younger man I, like most, often failed to see the lessons that presented themselves, or tossed them aside as unimportant. Fortunately I learned the value of reflection and looking into the past to help create a better future very quickly and chose to embrace the concept. It's worked well.

Thanks for taking the time to read this post and to comment. 
👍  
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vote details (1)
@old-man-chu58 ·
We live and we learn. 
Without you past you wouldn't be here.
I wish you have success on your endeavors.

Happy to be !ALIVE
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@p1k4ppa10 ·
$0.14
We've all done good things and bad things in life and I think mistakes should always be contemplated because that's what allows us to grow.

In the same way I have always thought that the mistake should not repeat itself.

>persistence is bad.

In certain moments of our life, as you rightly say, our understanding is different and we act on the basis of that, sometimes this has led us to incorrect evaluations but at that precise moment they were probably the ones to take.

I love your way of thinking and living for what I have been able to understand about you up to now, as far as I'm concerned there is so much to learn and I thank you for sharing what you know and are.

In life there can be no room for regrets and this is much more true when certain awareness has been reached.
!PGM
👍  , , , , ,
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vote details (6)
@galenkp ·
As I got older, I began to think differently on regret and, more importantly, the reasons for it. I began to understand that the decisions we make are based on thoughts and attitudes we have at the time we make them. Would I make different choices when I was fifteen if I was making them with the experiences of the forty year old me? Of course. So, I think regret needs to be put into perspective. An example. 

I regret trying to jump my bike over just about everything when I was a ten year old because I smashed my nuts more than they probably deserved. But...I loved every minute of challenging myself, seeking new adventures and those rare occasions when my stunts worked out. So yeah, regret, but not. You know? 

A light example of course but the point is there. We make decisions in the moment based on what we know and later on it's not always right to apply regret. 

Thanks for commenting.  
👍  
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vote details (1)
@p1k4ppa10 ·
You know that for me it is a pleasure and then your posts always leave many ideas for reflection.

The example you gave is nice, simple but it gives you the idea.
A Hug!🤗
properties (22)
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@pgm-curator ·
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@rafzat ·
$0.06
This is what is happening to me at the moment. I am sure that everyone of us have one or two things that we have done and that we are not proud of.

What was I thinking about?
Someone did something which is very bad to me and it has been for over six months and I have been finding it hard to heal. Well, I was thinking about it and crying at the same time but I hope I become happy again.
👍  , , , , ,
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vote details (6)
@galenkp ·
You have the ability to be happy again, it's within you. I hope you make it happen. 
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@trucklife-family ·
We are here to create, that's what I feel, what I believe. Every thought, action, reaction  shapes that creation, shapes our lives. This is where out real power lies.
The older I have become, the easier it has been for me to really embrace this, to really experience it.
It's time for us to step fully into our role as creators xxxxxx
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@xuwi ·
$0.06
Once upon a time, when I was a student, I used to collect many quotes on my Twitter page. There were thousands of tweets containing quotes. Over time, I realized that not all of them correspond to our lives, that someone's reality is very different from the reality of others. You know, sometimes when you look at the lives of those who wrote such quotes, you will see that they did not live a happy, exemplary life. Of course, this does not mean that I am no longer interested in quotes. Only now I care about their author before reading.
👍  , , , , ,
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vote details (6)
@galenkp ·
Quotes, for me, aren't about the author, they're about the words and how they may apply to me and what's going in my own life. After all, a quote from someone else is their interpretation of events, not my own. Sometimes they align and sometimes the words relate to me and my experiences differently. There's still value in some however, and it's those I value. 
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