I always notice how people keep their shoes, it's a good indicator. Also, if they wear a belt or not and if it matches the shoes. They may seem like little things but can point to larger and more problematic ones. The same with how people keep their car looking, inside and out. 

We get first impressions wrong for many reasons, prejudice for one, ignorance and arrogance. We all do it. The good thing is that we have the ability to change as we learn more about a person and the smart ones are doing so, like you did with your mate. The idiots hold to their false impressions and miss out on potentially great relationships/friendships/colleagues because of it. 

Preparation ahead of time leaves one more confident and less stressed. It's the process of thinking through the scenario and ticking of the required actions one by one that helps. 

Handshakes are critically important and must be approached with caution, but (here at least* a lame limp-wrist handshake sends a message and it's not a good message. Body language is a very important element and people who understand it will do better, it's a simple fact...like you mention with a genuine smile, it can disarm a situation and endear one to the other;, this, in business or social of course. 

It's also about energy as you say, a feeling that the person is engaged, interested and switched on...that energy is a mindset and can't often be faked. It must be genuine. 

Anyway, thanks for your comment, I appreciate it.

 

I think it's best to be yourself (each ourselves) as faking it will always leave a person at risk; the truth will show eventually. 

Interviews, yep they suck, especially now via *teams*. One must look at the camera on the laptop so that the people on the other end get *eye contact* but that means I'm not seeing them properly and can miss body language triggers. Sucks. 

It's funny about your wife, but lucky she saw the light and hired you...the rest is history. It's funny to think how often this might happen. I'm good friends with a person who hated me for three months. I arrived at the company in an executive role she had been promised and she hated me for it, and showed it. Three months later we were having lunch together every day and we see each other all the time now, as couples socially. Funny huh? Oh don't worry, I rarely let her forget it too...she takes it though, to a point, then tells me to *fuck off g-dog.* Lol.

Suits...yeah, I'd rather not wear them but sometimes I must. Back three years ago it was a daily thing, now I'm mostly more casual which I prefer. 

Crossing over cultures is sometimes difficult. 

Some from various countries are traditionally close talkers, (stand further within people's personal space) which can be disconcerting to those who are not. Some don't shake hands, manners and customs in general can be very different, even here in Australia. With a farmer one stands a little further away from a farmer and means in for a handshake rather than make it from a little closer (they like their space). City folk, used to be crammed in lifts and all, don't mind a closer proximity. 

Being on time for me is walking into reception five minutes early. Being late is walking in at the appointed time. Fifteen minutes is too early and could be considered rude it disrespectful of the other person's time (they may be doing something else). Same as in America I guess. If you arrived fifteen minutes early for an appointment with me on most days I'd make you wait for the meeting time whilst I did what I was doing for that fifteen minutes. 

I think it's important to understand the culture in which a person operates as not doing so could give rise to many issues and failed business opportunities or social interactions.  

Limp-wristed (wet fish) handshakes are not well regarded here but a firm handshake in Japan might be considered inappropriate...just one example of many differences I guess. Fortunately I'm not in Japan as the limp-wrist thing isn't my thing. 

There's nothing wrong with conservative and for what I do it's suits with blue tones and white shirts mainly to convey a classic, trustworthy and dependable nature. In my private life I'm a little less conservative but far from flamboyant with how I dress. Earthy tones and blues mainly. (Camouflage also of course.) 

Beard trimming is essential, I'm not the wild man from Borneo and can't imagine having such a beard. I once grew it a little longer as I was threatening to plait it Viking style, but it was more of a baseless threat than real. I like to present well usually, situation specific, and I think you get what I'm saying here and would agree it's the best way to go...for men or women. 

Hi Swigiggles! (That's a new one.) I hope you're well, the week has been awesomely swigtastic and you have a good weekend planned.<div><a href="https://engage.hivechain.app">![](https://i.imgur.com/XsrNmcl.png)</a></div>

Things are rarely what they seem, but mostly first impressions are correct *in that very moment.* 

If a person was going for a job interview at a bank as a manager and dressed for the interview as a clown with red hair and a red nose the first impression people got would be different than if they went dressed in a smart business suit and sensible black shoes. They would perceive the person as an idiot who turned up for a professional interview dressed inappropriately and one wo was not taking it seriously, and they would be right in that impression based on what they knew.

That impression is formed in seconds and is different to learning what you may be like in reality which happens over time. 

First impressions are often correct (not always) and women have a better knack for it as their intuition is better than men, but mostly *first impressions* (in business environments) are quite accurate as physical appearance is so apparent. However, first impressions never tell the whole story, just a quick snapshot of the moment.

Learning about someone's deeper self isn't a first impression, that's different, and it can't be done in ten seconds and based on physical appearance alone or whether a person was on time or not. 

Things are rarely as they seem. I wear suits and ties in my professional career, on the weekend I do not. If you saw me on a week day you'd form a first impression based on what you saw: *business man, snappy dresser, well-groomed, professional, focused etcetera*. If you saw me when I was out hunting on the weekend your first impression would be different. Neither impressions accurately represent who I am as a total person, they're just small snippets of the many different elements of me. It's the same for you. 

One should never judge a person on the first ten seconds of meeting them, however, impressions form regardless, that's why, in this post, I suggest that effort should be made to help lead those we meet into having a good first impression - I mean in business and social environments. Having said that, when I go to the hardware store on the weekend looking like a bag of fucken shit with tattoos all over me, hair undone and covered in dust or whatever, *I don't give a shit what people think.* But, come Monday, *suit and tie again*. Neither is me entirely, just parts of me; it's the same with you; all of us. 

So, your first impression of me on the weekend will probably be different to the first impression you'd have if you saw me at the office during the week, or fucking around at the beach with a surfboard and so on. Knowing who I am though, that'll take years. 

In my appointment today, I walked away leaving a good impression but that doesn't mean the person knows everything about me, *just the me in respect of being the person they may want to deal with professionally*. They have no idea I have guns, tattoos, like to cook, read and write, hate my hot food touching my cold food on the dinner plate...or anything else. They'll learn over time, or not, as appropriate. 

Thanks for your comment, I appreciate it. 

Positive self talk is a very important factor. It verbalises thought and feelings and can make them feel more real, it can bring conviction. 

That should be a good game...maybe hook up a small electric shock button that you can deploy on them, maybe built into the chairs. It'll have no bearing on the actual process but I'm sure could be a lot of fun for you. Go on with you, allow yourself some fun at work! 😋

Seriously though, first impressions are fascinating, often right based on limited information and then sometimes they need to change as more information comes to hand. It's the physical most react to in those ten seconds as there's not much else to work with. 

We judge people so easily and often without perspective and facts, it's a human failing to some degree I guess. Like I said in another comment here, see me on a work day and you'll judge one way, and another on Sunday if you saw me at the hardware store or the gun range. Just snippets of me, but people judge either way. We judge people on so many stupid things, clothes they may be wearing, where they shop, vehicle they drive, age or physical appearance and so on. It takes more than those slices of moments to *know a person and have the ability to judge them in a more overall manner with better perspective and context.* 

It's an interesting subject. Fortunately humans have the ability to change their opinion. 

Appraising someone in a demeaning manner speaks more poorly about the appraiser than the one being appraised; one must be respectful as you suggest. 

Some people's idea/level of good preparation/presentation is different to others. It's a little complicated as it can affect the overall impression. My idea of clean, polished boots may differ to someone else's (I'm fastidious and have high standards) and that may cause me to have a lesser first impression of someone who may be very well suited to the role I'm interviewing them for. You know? Some caution needs to be taken in this regard. 

Having said that, *I have high standards of myself and that means others by default*. It's something I have had to remember and work around, that's part of being a good leader. (See my previous post about the ten principles of leadership.)