I think just being there to listen is probably the best thing you did.  Thanks for being around and for the boosts.

It is such a hard subject to answer. I have to wonder what kind of torture is going through that person's mind to be able to take one's own life. To get to that point, because it is sometimes viewed as a very selfish act, but, nobody has the right to say that, not having lived in their head. 

I'm glad you reached out, and I hope that you take care of your own heart as well. There is no going back, so the only thing you can do is mourn, remember, and forward, always forward. He would want you to. He is released from his earthly pain and I hope he is in a better place. Nobody deserves hell on earth. 

I wish he had been able to sort it all out, for his wife, his friends, and for him. But, the best you can do is exactly what you are doing. Being there. Just as you are. Be well and take good care of yourself. 

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I'm so sorry about your friend. For me most times the thoughts come uninvited. Since I work from home and alone, that can't be avoided. Sometimes I'd be drawing and before I know it, I'm deeply engrossed in thoughts. I guess that's what makes me take too long over my drawings. Even when I'm involved in my craft work too it's same. I end up distracting the thoughts with movies while working. Thinking is just a part of my lifestyle everyday.

So sorry for your loss. I am also one person who doesn't know how to comfort people so I understand.

Hopefully, it gradually gets easy for his wife, I can't imagine how hard it is on her 

Sad to hear that. Many in the psychology field speak and consider suicide to be "a selfish act" partly for the reasons you describe above, the effects it has on the living or "the survivors". What many don't realize is that for the individual, they have just gotten past the point of even being able to see that, much less comprehend it because their own pain and suffering has reached a point where it just drowns everything else out and all they want to do is make it stop. Many underestimate the emotional torture, yes torture these folks are going through. Unfortunately, there's not much anyone can do for them since the battle (and the pain) is in their head. Some choose to get help and are able to find the professional help they need, some are not able to do either. The best we can do is wish them better Karma in their next lifetime, they certainly paid their dues in this one and deserve it. 

I've found it useful through my own journeys that it benefits the living to take an alternate approach. Of course grieving and taking one's own time to do it is appropriate, but then rather than trying to block out the pain of the person's memory by ignoring or dismissing (never works for long anyway), instead, embrace those positive memories and actually even allow the brain to connect and speak (or listen) to what the memories and lingering vibrations of that person has to say. Even actively engage that person's memory, (talking to their ghost?) Whether it be yelling at them for leaving, or getting advice on how to move forward, or just to hear their voice again. This can provide both a cathartic release and provide a healing, positive interaction to take forward.

I hope your friend's remaining family is able to start their healing journey soon. Just as we don't laugh at a good joke for days on end, we should not become buried in our tears for weeks (or months, or years) on end either.

Best.. 

You got it right 100%

Thinking comes after the battery is charged.

But sometimes if a plan needs to be rearranged then I go with the flow.



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Sometimes, unexpected things happen and I'm so sorry for that. 

You did right to release that anger by doing things you didn't expect to be that nice. You're a good friend and that's what made you like that. It's so sad that we can't make things go back.

Stay safe and be well.

So sorry to hear about your loss. 
At times  I think why people take such drastic steps, that they end their life. But the biggest torture for family and friends is when they don't even get to know what the reason was for such a big step. 
They leave and people behind keep burning in a hell of thoughts of why, why and why

I still remember, when I have been a kid around 8-10 years old,, wife of my cousin ended her life, just after one month my cousin too ended his life. They both left. His mother was totally shattered in pieces. We don't even know the exact reason today. 

But as they say time heals everything. With time, we humans get better. The one who stay here has to move on and on and on. 

May God give strength to the family. May he rest in peace.!! 
Take care. Stay blessed! 

I'm glad you got out for a drive and a think - definitely the best thing to do under circumstance. I always find driving clears my head too. Was thinking about you a lot today.

Sorry to hear that. Listening is the best art, I guess. In these situations we don't need to console others with words. Being there and listening to whatever they say is the best gesture you can have.

This type of thing always needs a bit of processing, glad you took that time. Are you going okay?

Sorry to hear about your friend, I also don't know what to say to loved ones under these tragic circumstances.

That is very sad to read.
When these things happen to people close to us is when we realize how important it is to give support, even the smallest one, to those remaining.
Those are the moments when we realize those who really care. Feel sorry for your friend and his family.

Ardrossan sounds like an awesome name for a place. Nice writting, @galenkp.