Trust is difficult @giantbear but forgiving is truly the key.  Harboring anger toward someone will only hurt you.  The quicker you can forgive the better off you are. smart words.

Excellent advice. I also find it helpful to pin a photo of people who diss me to the wall and throw darts at it. Then I forgive them. ;-)

@giantbear - true words and great insight.  I can forgive and move on because I don't have the inclination to carry the baggage.  But the forgetting part is MUCH less likely.  I tend to remember being backstabbed or lied to.

Great post @giantbear

It is a tough world out there and making friends is hard enough at the best of times, let alone when trust becomes an issue. Trust is crucial for me too and any meaningful relationship that I participate in has to have it, otherwise, forget it.

It's important to not shut yourself off from possible positive encounters with people though but I do understand that you have to make yourself reasonably open and vulnerable to do it.

Thanks for sharing.

Gaz

Although I do not like to be lied to, I am with the forgive and forget crowd as I think it is unhealthy for me to carry around negative feelings for something I didn't create.

So, I have to come to terms I can agree with and let it gooooooo

Great read!

!tip

Sadly, I have had this experience.  More than once.  So, yes:

>if you have the guts to lie to me in my face, then I have the guts to unfriend you

I am with you on this.

As another said it is seriously hard to truly forgive. 
One thing to watch out for is judging people as a mass of people of being untrustworthy. It is so hard to come back from something where you got hurt. People are hard to trust these days but life doesn't stop with those that can't grasp it. You will find your people 🙂

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Well this is pretty epic through and through! Yes I have been let down by friends before and I know I'm going to hear from a few folks only when they want something. They get ignored by me mostly as I have better ways to spend my time like being in the music studio or travelling.

Great reasoning behind why people are like that too. I agree with it all and I think a lot can be said for people like us who are happy just being alone because if you aren't happy with yourself, who else can you be happy with hey?

Love the username, giantbear, can imagine a giant cuddly bear on the other side of this screen haha!

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I agree, @giantbear - while forgiving & forgetting is the best way to heal, it's definitely not the easiest thing to do. It's something I've been working on for years, and it's still a challenge (it would be much easier if people just stopped lying... 😜). Wonderful, thought-provoking post. 😊

I feel the same way @giantbear.  I had to do the same thing a few months ago.  Not revealing something extremely important that would have actually changed the decision you made it despicable and deceitful. More so when they act like they did you a favor in the first place. 

Boundaries are a necessity anymore.  We are just looking out for our own health and well being.  Yes self-care is extremely important, but so many have changed to what you said 
>These days it is all about me and how I can benefit ...

This is pure selfish behavior, it is not about self care at all. Yet they use that as the guise. I really wish people would start learning more compassion and empathy again. The world is becoming a sad place without it.

Many must wear that T shirt. When the moment comes and you see it for how it is then that's the time to move on...

True forgiveness is really hard to do. Learning to forgive and let go of the anger will take away a lot of burden that we carry. It is hard bearing that burden.

It's very hard to forgive and forget. I did it once but things can't return to how it was before they "f"d up. They hurt alot more people than just me.

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