What if there's nothing more to hold on to? by giantbear

View this thread on: hive.blog | peakd.com | ecency.com

oc · @giantbear · Nov 16 '19

$4.22

What if there's nothing more to hold on to?

<html>
<p>https://ih0.redbubble.net/image.406895308.2075/pp,650x642-pad,750x1000,f8f8f8.u2.jpg</p>
<p><a href="https://ih0.redbubble.net/image.406895308.2075/pp,650x642-pad,750x1000,f8f8f8.u2.jpg">Image source</a></p>
<p>Life is difficult, hard and very crappy sometimes. Don't worry, this is not your typical motivational post but rather a desperate attempt to make me feel better about my current situation. It will take much more than a normal motivational uplifting post to get me out of my current state of mind. &nbsp;I am literally flat on the ground and I don't know how to get up.&nbsp;</p>
<p>I feel so desperate and hopeless and I wish that I had the power to change things. &nbsp;When someone you love is so critically ill, and there is absolutely nothing that you can do to help them feel better or change the situation....it is then that you feel helpless. &nbsp;</p>
<p>It is then when the scary thoughts creep up at night and make you doubt yourself. &nbsp;It is then when you start to question life and the whole reason why we were put on this earth. It is then when you grab on to every little hope that there is left and you hope and pray that it is enough to pull you through. &nbsp;</p>
<p>As they say, a little bit of hope is better than no hope.... &nbsp;&nbsp;</p>
<p>I am not one to walk with my emotions on the outside and I mostly keep to myself, but it literally feels as if I can go stand on top of a mountain and just shout that life is unfair. Life is so very unfair! &nbsp;&nbsp;</p>
<p>I know that we all have to die one day and I also know that there is a reason behind everything that happens in life, but at this point I just honestly don't see the point. &nbsp;Once you are pointless then life becomes more difficult. &nbsp;</p>
<p>Then at night when everyone is asleep my faith kicks in and I can hear God talking to me. Every time I open the bible I read something that boosts me and that helps. &nbsp;</p>
<p>Reality is that we all have to go through this difficult time where we have to lose a parent. &nbsp;Miracle or no miracle. We are here to love each other and to look after this planet. We are here for only one reason and that is to love.&nbsp;</p>
<p>There is no time in life to play around because life is way too short and we should remember that our families are more important than any job or money or anything else that has in reality NO MEANING. &nbsp;Money is no longer important when you lay in a bed full of pipes with the uncertainty whether you are going to live or not. &nbsp;Life matters and no one on their deathbed has ever said I wished I worked harder, instead they usually just say, I wish I had spent more time with my family. &nbsp;</p>
<p>I am sad, but I know I have no choice but to go forward. &nbsp;I am on my knees and I am crawling but as they also say...if crawling is all you can do, then crawl. &nbsp;</p>
<p>Today I am crawling. &nbsp;I take one day at a time while this difficult time continues.&nbsp;</p>
<p>I don't worry about tomorrow. &nbsp;I worry only about today, because even in the Lord's prayer He said:</p>
<p>https://cdn10.bigcommerce.com/s-h6ej1y/products/1768/images/624/POS-GTLP_Lord_%252527s_prayer_18x24__59888_zoom__55085.1398105006.480.480.jpg?c=2</p>
<p>Give us this day our daily bread. &nbsp;</p>
<h2>Is that not what God wants from us? Let us only worry about today, because tomorrow doesn't matter.&nbsp;</h2>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p><strong>https://media.discordapp.net/attachments/636539314402230272/636539524461101066/STEEMSA_logo.png?width=300&amp;height=300</strong>&nbsp;</p>
<p>https://steemitimages.com/DQmd73NC2v4u5AFvdqmUiSzSE9NF3JyDTaPN74W5czMZvSQ/giantbear.png</p>
<p>https://imgp.whaleshares.io/0x0/https://steemitimages.com/0x0/https://cdn.steemitimages.com/0x0/https://imgoat.com/uploads/f93f983524/109474.gif&nbsp;</p>
</html>

👍 hanshotfirst, steemed-proxy, steemiteducation, ripperone, busy.pay, chorock, meesterboom, remlaps1, suonghuynh, qurator, make-a-whale, steem-ua, drorion, thatindianlady, nateaguila, ew-and-patterns, smartvote, rynow, giantbear, erikah, mathworksheets, thegoldencookie, bmwrider, roguewriter, anttn, a-bot, lupafilotaxia, zord189, schoolforsdg4, csy, tuda, trayan, maxdevalue, steemfiction, sazbird, reonlouw, alishi, travisung, sndbox, steemit-united, jga, sgbonus, remlaps, steemsouthafrica, broncofan99, gregory-f, b00m, alvinauh, oendertuerk, eric-boucher, djlethalskillz, cabbagepatch, blue-pencil, remlaps-lite, bigbear, apteacher, womenempowerment, ghostgtr, affiedalfayed, angelinafx, coffeetime, marxrab, divinekids, azizbd, and 88 others
👎 trimesgi, drisod

`author`	giantbear
`permlink`	what-if-there-s-nothing-more-to-hold-on-to
`category`	oc
`json_metadata`	{"community":"busy","app":"busy/2.5.6","format":"markdown","tags":["oc","writing","life","creativecoin","marlians","neoxian","busy","steemsa","motivation","philosophy","religion"],"users":[],"links":["https://ih0.redbubble.net/image.406895308.2075/pp,650x642-pad,750x1000,f8f8f8.u2.jpg"],"image":["https://ih0.redbubble.net/image.406895308.2075/pp,650x642-pad,750x1000,f8f8f8.u2.jpg","https://cdn10.bigcommerce.com/s-h6ej1y/products/1768/images/624/POS-GTLP_Lord_%252527s_prayer_18x24__59888_zoom__55085.1398105006.480.480.jpg?c=2","https://media.discordapp.net/attachments/636539314402230272/636539524461101066/STEEMSA_logo.png?width=300&height=300","https://steemitimages.com/DQmd73NC2v4u5AFvdqmUiSzSE9NF3JyDTaPN74W5czMZvSQ/giantbear.png","https://imgp.whaleshares.io/0x0/https://steemitimages.com/0x0/https://cdn.steemitimages.com/0x0/https://imgoat.com/uploads/f93f983524/109474.gif"]}
`created`	2019-11-16 12:21:12
`last_update`	2019-11-16 12:21:12
`depth`	0
`children`	7
`last_payout`	2019-11-23 12:21:12
`cashout_time`	1969-12-31 23:59:59
`total_payout_value`	2.170 HBD
`curator_payout_value`	2.046 HBD
`pending_payout_value`	0.000 HBD
`promoted`	0.000 HBD
`body_length`	3,839
`author_reputation`	419,012,927,701,052
`root_title`	"What if there's nothing more to hold on to?"
`beneficiaries`	`[]`
`max_accepted_payout`	1,000,000.000 HBD
`percent_hbd`	10,000
`post_id`	92,551,001
`net_rshares`	15,675,471,503,450
`author_curate_reward`	""

properties (23)vote details (154)

voter	rshares	pct
gregory-f	22,549,578,731	1.36%
eric-boucher	19,015,030,752	5%
meesterboom	533,222,090,156	25%
sazbird	30,128,171,967	12.5%
remlaps	26,421,798,778	100%
hanshotfirst	3,849,330,303,283	75%
azizbd	8,023,975,737	25%
thegoldencookie	69,692,668,604	100%
wisbeech	1,952,447,771	25%
rynow	97,693,991,580	25%
alishi	29,707,543,376	70%
bmwrider	64,895,022,855	100%
remlaps1	497,732,196,648	100%
busy.pay	841,259,641,023	4.04%
bigbear	13,421,585,825	100%
giantbear	93,845,098,982	100%
roguewriter	58,216,392,770	20%
voronoi	966,446,452	10%
sweetpea	2,668,594,583	50%
yadamaniart	665,842,693	1.13%
em3di	854,509,409	5%
mathworksheets	70,661,022,215	51%
remlaps2	6,324,580,793	100%
ripperone	972,195,438,716	18%
erikaflynn	4,250,607,539	12%
stefan.steynberg	159,509,503	100%
steemiteducation	1,183,076,924,028	100%
erb	2,078,601,257	10%
marxrab	8,812,259,636	10%
oendertuerk	19,087,419,063	4.75%
iansart	6,326,202,905	5.5%
hope777	1,668,549,156	30%
trayan	35,276,402,410	100%
cryptastic	4,335,720,233	10%
cabbagepatch	16,716,841,986	33%
inkedandsexy	5,241,577,703	9.5%
jga	26,654,800,101	100%
maxdevalue	35,120,340,120	50%
coffeetime	8,917,644,765	20%
schoolforsdg4	41,312,074,027	25%
roseri	2,460,400,320	50%
sam99	785,886,411	10%
oscarcede	888,518,627	20%
ghostgtr	10,978,560,767	100%
ew-and-patterns	104,146,762,744	4%
affiedalfayed	9,713,507,671	80%
coloringiship	846,756,783	2.5%
sndbox	27,306,768,860	10%
superday	156,811,258	100%
drorion	150,659,171,734	20%
pixelfan	5,962,833,475	1.05%
magic-sasquatch	0	5%
himshweta	2,774,503,444	100%
somethingburger	597,684,824	5%
thatindianlady	112,044,328,353	37.5%
guada1	1,069,826,543	50%
djlethalskillz	18,341,011,524	15%
kayros	2,812,390,713	100%
make-a-whale	262,714,774,395	40%
lyxng	1,685,677,077	100%
masterwu	3,514,061,092	30%
divinekids	8,091,906,113	100%
qurator	275,506,925,097	2.27%
zord189	43,495,182,873	30%
steemed-proxy	3,847,034,665,468	25%
sam.hsuu	5,750,420,630	30%
nanastraybutt	1,101,337,559	30%
ankapolo	2,074,648,983	7%
korghawk	1,849,510,500	98%
lucylin	7,365,668,642	100%
alvinauh	20,125,272,942	30%
notimetospace	3,474,165,110	30%
methusalem	3,141,373,799	25%
misterbob	922,165,019	50%
blue-pencil	15,503,619,363	100%
afifa	841,314,454	10%
sireh	750,767,373	2.5%
b00m	20,721,515,428	12.5%
qustodian	7,920,864,436	2.27%
ravenruis	2,073,814,885	7.12%
fun2learn	2,160,892,966	3%
steveblucher	5,837,937,223	50%
womenempowerment	11,405,985,201	25%
chorock	570,296,539,551	50%
ran.koree	611,188,952	5%
mashiliyanage	1,510,872,211	50%
oropeso	160,183,287	50%
sandracabrera	2,806,634,690	50%
ejlo3310	2,684,836,025	50%
ruth-elise	575,189,348	30%
wanaf	2,555,702,859	30%
erikah	77,589,392,486	40%
reonlouw	30,118,257,928	50%
qberry	1,148,135,149	1.13%
broncofan99	23,002,714,042	20%
alanasteemit	873,391,882	50%
angelinafx	9,164,344,016	2.7%
creativecrypto	5,140,851,370	10%
focusnow	6,691,627,685	50%
tpvoter1	105,203,820	100%
apteacher	12,647,196,143	100%
share4every1	170,762,718	100%
aceaeterna	2,358,545,355	50%
pladozero	4,086,531,071	1%
nateaguila	105,584,350,627	5%
ojap02	1,006,115,597	100%
dailyspam	2,993,557,229	65%
sgbonus	26,617,184,230	100%
apoloo2	659,281,916	15%
suonghuynh	385,765,180,903	2.7%
uglyogreh	539,179,042	100%
nailyourhome	564,369,785	3%
hhtb	975,298,706	10%
csy	38,456,478,600	20%
smartvote	102,187,588,975	2.7%
anttn	52,570,214,339	15%
steeming-hot	0	0.01%
lupafilotaxia	47,200,871,387	100%
alaiza	558,450,652	100%
steemit-united	26,973,826,533	9.5%
remlaps-lite	13,462,592,677	100%
exhibition	704,959,485	10%
a-bot	47,631,494,599	20%
twotoedsloth	2,018,389,149	5%
laissez-faire	53,410,181	100%
lapp	546,215,716	100%
steemtpistia	545,617,306	100%
crassipes	545,900,210	100%
tuda	37,330,614,517	100%
agrovision	546,215,716	100%
steem-ua	201,132,663,644	4.84%
wiseman222	554,884,287	100%
ecodesigns	3,993,234,078	50%
su-upvote-stats	1,023,292,455	9.5%
travisung	27,799,902,010	5%
proxy-pal	688,863,553	25%
proxy-tracker	688,891,588	25%
kharma.scribbles	1,314,116,788	7.12%
steemfiction	34,801,008,535	100%
coredump	5,534,966	3%
sheronlarocc	735,300,487	100%
axeminni	2,335,189,768	82%
cn-marlians	861,348,369	2%
abh12345.marlian	4,472,864	6.03%
abh12345.neox	0	5.03%
tratraart	542,490,415	100%
tonimontana.neo	155,805,083	10%
tengri	7,777,933,747	3.99%
thebilpcointrain	62,780,689	1%
bilpcoin.pay	201,872,568	1%
drisod	-5,369,657	-10%
trimesgi	-9,273,112	-10%
martians	0	6.03%
steemsouthafrica	23,381,462,850	100%

@creativecrypto · Nov 20 '19

Hello @giantbear, thank you for sharing this creative work! We just stopped by to say that you've been upvoted by the @creativecrypto magazine. [The Creative Crypto](https://thecreativecrypto.com/) is all about art on the blockchain and learning from creatives like you. Looking forward to crossing paths again soon. Steem on!

properties (22)

`author`	creativecrypto
`permlink`	re-what-if-there-s-nothing-more-to-hold-on-to-20191120t005238
`category`	oc
`json_metadata`	""
`created`	2019-11-20 00:52:39
`last_update`	2019-11-20 00:52:39
`depth`	1
`children`	0
`last_payout`	2019-11-27 00:52:39
`cashout_time`	1969-12-31 23:59:59
`total_payout_value`	0.000 HBD
`curator_payout_value`	0.000 HBD
`pending_payout_value`	0.000 HBD
`promoted`	0.000 HBD
`body_length`	327
`author_reputation`	1,055,131,252,444,029
`root_title`	"What if there's nothing more to hold on to?"
`beneficiaries`	`[]`
`max_accepted_payout`	1,000,000.000 HBD
`percent_hbd`	10,000
`post_id`	92,659,367
`net_rshares`	0

@meesterboom · Nov 16 '19

Crawl, drag yourself if you have to. Everything seems black and hopeless but it does get better.

I completely know what you mean by thinking that there is no point. I recently, as you know, went through similar and it was a dark dark time. I think only now a couple of months down the line am I finally beginning to have some days where I feel alright.

I'd send you hugs or some of that shit that internet wankers say but it's not my style. Sending you good vibes instead :0)

👍 giantbear

`author`	meesterboom
`permlink`	q12aky
`category`	oc
`json_metadata`	{"app":"steemit/0.1"}
`created`	2019-11-16 12:26:57
`last_update`	2019-11-16 12:26:57
`depth`	1
`children`	4
`last_payout`	2019-11-23 12:26:57
`cashout_time`	1969-12-31 23:59:59
`total_payout_value`	0.000 HBD
`curator_payout_value`	0.000 HBD
`pending_payout_value`	0.000 HBD
`promoted`	0.000 HBD
`body_length`	477
`author_reputation`	1,795,880,455,280,120
`root_title`	"What if there's nothing more to hold on to?"
`beneficiaries`	`[]`
`max_accepted_payout`	1,000,000.000 HBD
`percent_hbd`	10,000
`post_id`	92,551,165
`net_rshares`	13,486,676,455
`author_curate_reward`	""

properties (23)vote details (1)

voter	weight	wgt%	rshares	pct	time
giantbear	0 B		13,486,676,455	15%

@giantbear · Nov 16 '19 (edited)

Oh I will take the hug and all of that shit now! It just feels as if it never going to end....

properties (22)

`author`	giantbear
`permlink`	q12asd
`category`	oc
`json_metadata`	{"app":"steemit/0.1"}
`created`	2019-11-16 12:31:27
`last_update`	2019-11-16 12:32:30
`depth`	2
`children`	1
`last_payout`	2019-11-23 12:31:27
`cashout_time`	1969-12-31 23:59:59
`total_payout_value`	0.000 HBD
`curator_payout_value`	0.000 HBD
`pending_payout_value`	0.000 HBD
`promoted`	0.000 HBD
`body_length`	94
`author_reputation`	419,012,927,701,052
`root_title`	"What if there's nothing more to hold on to?"
`beneficiaries`	`[]`
`max_accepted_payout`	1,000,000.000 HBD
`percent_hbd`	10,000
`post_id`	92,551,293
`net_rshares`	0

@meesterboom · Nov 16 '19

Asked that's the worst bit, it seems as if this is going to be what it's like forever. And it is for a while but it really does start to get better.

Oh fuck it.

(((( hugs!!! ))))

Is that how the kidz do it? :0)

properties (22)

`author`	meesterboom
`permlink`	q12b0x
`category`	oc
`json_metadata`	{"app":"steemit/0.1"}
`created`	2019-11-16 12:36:33
`last_update`	2019-11-16 12:36:33
`depth`	3
`children`	0
`last_payout`	2019-11-23 12:36:33
`cashout_time`	1969-12-31 23:59:59
`total_payout_value`	0.000 HBD
`curator_payout_value`	0.000 HBD
`pending_payout_value`	0.000 HBD
`promoted`	0.000 HBD
`body_length`	213
`author_reputation`	1,795,880,455,280,120
`root_title`	"What if there's nothing more to hold on to?"
`beneficiaries`	`[]`
`max_accepted_payout`	1,000,000.000 HBD
`percent_hbd`	10,000
`post_id`	92,551,409
`net_rshares`	0

@lucylin · Nov 16 '19

$0.03

Exactly this...( my dad died a few years ago)...It does get better, no matter what you are feeling right now. Keep going, matey.

👍 meesterboom, giantbear

`author`	lucylin
`permlink`	q12awc
`category`	oc
`json_metadata`	{"app":"steemit/0.1"}
`created`	2019-11-16 12:34:15
`last_update`	2019-11-16 12:34:15
`depth`	2
`children`	1
`last_payout`	2019-11-23 12:34:15
`cashout_time`	1969-12-31 23:59:59
`total_payout_value`	0.018 HBD
`curator_payout_value`	0.011 HBD
`pending_payout_value`	0.000 HBD
`promoted`	0.000 HBD
`body_length`	128
`author_reputation`	185,811,362,824,733
`root_title`	"What if there's nothing more to hold on to?"
`beneficiaries`	`[]`
`max_accepted_payout`	1,000,000.000 HBD
`percent_hbd`	10,000
`post_id`	92,551,352
`net_rshares`	216,222,400,004
`author_curate_reward`	""

properties (23)vote details (2)

voter	weight	wgt%	rshares	pct	time
meesterboom	0 B		207,057,455,916	10%
giantbear	0 B		9,164,944,088	10%

@meesterboom · Nov 16 '19

Aye, it's a hard one and no mistake. Nothing can really prepare you for it

properties (22)

`author`	meesterboom
`permlink`	q12b25
`category`	oc
`json_metadata`	{"app":"steemit/0.1"}
`created`	2019-11-16 12:37:18
`last_update`	2019-11-16 12:37:18
`depth`	3
`children`	0
`last_payout`	2019-11-23 12:37:18
`cashout_time`	1969-12-31 23:59:59
`total_payout_value`	0.000 HBD
`curator_payout_value`	0.000 HBD
`pending_payout_value`	0.000 HBD
`promoted`	0.000 HBD
`body_length`	74
`author_reputation`	1,795,880,455,280,120
`root_title`	"What if there's nothing more to hold on to?"
`beneficiaries`	`[]`
`max_accepted_payout`	1,000,000.000 HBD
`percent_hbd`	10,000
`post_id`	92,551,423
`net_rshares`	0

@steem-ua · Nov 17 '19

#### Hi @giantbear!

Your post was upvoted by @steem-ua, new Steem dApp, using UserAuthority for algorithmic post curation!
Your **UA** account score is currently 5.304 which ranks you at **#786** across all Steem accounts.
Your rank has not changed in the last three days.

In our last Algorithmic Curation Round, consisting of 95 contributions, your post is ranked at **#63**.
##### Evaluation of your UA score:

* You've built up a nice network.
* You have already convinced some users to vote for your post, keep trying!
* Try to work on user engagement: the more people that interact with you via the comments, the higher your UA score!


**Feel free to join our [@steem-ua Discord server](https://discord.gg/KpBNYGz)**

properties (22)