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What I learned in 10yrs of Waiting Tables by grindan

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· @grindan · (edited)
$67.77
What I learned in 10yrs of Waiting Tables
<div class="pull-left"><img src="https://images.ecency.com/DQmZ9YM299VYxLukyd35zBaTZLTur3gNp7MwDExD2TrkAKA/waitress_g74714f75d_640.jpg"><center><sup>Photo by <a href="https://pixabay.com/photos/waitress-statuettes-year-1950-retro-788236/">girochantal</a> on pexel</sup></center></div> 
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<i>“The act of waitressing is a solace, it's got everything you could ask for - confusion, panic, humility, and food.”</i>
― Eve Babitz
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I started my restaurant career as a meek 19 year old. I had just left an abusive relationship, where I was forced away from my friendly nature and self-expression. I would soon get a crash course on summoning a bright personality in odd circumstances, which would help heal a year of damage in time. 



<div class= pull-right><img src="https://images.ecency.com/DQmRGJcKzThSMDBjcEMncrTzZyQ7814jXeoudJcrHc9UvEJ/1.jpg"></div>
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<i>I took this 2Edgy4U photo around the time I started waiting tables. I find it really cringey now, but back then this was an expression of how I felt inside, like I didn't have a voice. We can laugh at me together.</i> 
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<center><h1><i>No one likes a Whiner</i></h1></center>
My first lesson from the service industry was a doozy. I was still learning how to be an adult, and I didn't understand the concept of emotional labor. I was going through a tough time, and sometimes expressed that at work, not understanding how inappropriate it was. Well, I sure learned quick to <b>leave it at the door</b> because Servers hate a whiner. 
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Chances are, they have some jerk at one of their tables turning their night into an acting challenge. Oh your well done steak is <i>dry</i>?! I have never in my life experienced something as important as this, let me gush out an apology. Now I can take your plate back to the kitchen, where they will surely ask why I brought it back- it's a perfectly temped welldone. They cook you a medium well, and when you bring it out to the guest, they let you know <i>you finally got it right, (you dum dum)</i>. Things like this highlight the social contracts we have as people, which I quickly alcimated to.
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<div class="pull-left"><img src="<img src=https://images.ecency.com/DQmVz7cHPLuLo1Px89Rp9wfqCpRDnKu7X4g9CaRPN1NkJM2/2.jpg"></div>
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<i>This photo is about 6 months after the last, I'm making a weird face, but I look <b>happy</b>! I've gotten past my whiney phase at this point, and I'm having a blast rediscovering myself! My financial situation is stable for the first time ever, and I'm learning so much about life.</i>
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My next lesson would take me many years to <i>really</i> understand, but it's benefits began to show up once I opened the door. The time had come to address some situations that I had found myself in over the last several years. I was always letting people walk all over me, and that had really inhibited my success in life. It was time to drop my childlike view of the world.
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<div class="pull-right"><img src=https://images.ecency.com/DQmPL5UXhsqE84kndofD4osr2U3D5mMpLraXQ3F6pfqnvZX/3.jpg)></div>
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<i>“A man that is a friend to everyone is an enemy to himself.” – Mike Tyson</i>
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<center><h2><i>Not everyone is your Friend</i></h2></center>
Some people grow up knowing this, but the waters of my understanding of people were muddied by a childhood that didn't exactly teach me how to be functional. People I loved and trusted had always hurt me, so it was normal right? <b>No, no it is not.</b> My first lesson had begun to swell in my mind, and I realized the social contracts I honored for other people also applied to me. 
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This ushered in a new age for me, as I learned new words like "No" and "Stop". I started to seek friendships that reciprocated my efforts. I didn't allow people to eat my time or my resources up anymore, after lots of practice. Once again restaurant life had a syllabus ready on the subject. I honed my skills with flirty patrons, drunk drama llamas, and frisky line cooks. I learned how to set boundaries, finally. Best of all, I got paid doing it!
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<div class="pull-left"><img src=(https://images.ecency.com/DQmaJrfmEkuJ93R4cJWtJf5UfAbcRq6ajTo3CwN31RMxVpQ/4.jpg)></div>
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<i>A photo taken on a beach in Florida. These were the times! I shaved my head about a month beforehand, and it's growing back in. I'm in the thick of a "break year" from dating here, and very much enjoying my "impress no one" outlook. I believe I am 25 in this photo.</i> 
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There was a big change in me around the time the above photo was taken! I had spent years in the trenches of weekend rushes, experiencing some of the best AND worst teamwork ever. Holding together in the coursing tides of managerial demands, which became a riptide where it met picky customers, we struggled through united. Shift quarrels were lost in too many drinks after work, the things that pissed us off becoming funny. If you've worked in restaurants, I'm sure you know just what I mean! Still, I wasn't done learning quite yet!
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<div class="pull-right"><img src="https://images.ecency.com/DQmTfzf2s3gUzMCQ5F8Wx8PDPzFo9xprFQhe1E4hwaXmuJR/5.jpg"></div>
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<i>Here I'm 28, and I'm reaping huge benefits from my final, but most important lesson! At last, I had grasped a concept that would change my life! Side note, isn't it insane how fast my hair grew back?!</i>
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<blockquote>“Content is King but engagement is Queen, and the lady rules the house!” – Mari Smith</blockquote>
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Several years into my serving career, I hit a wall that many good servers hit eventually. I was just as fast and efficient as the best of my fellows, I certainly was just as friendly... so why were some of them making 100 bucks more than me on a friday night?
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<center><h2><i>Market Your Skills!</i></h2></center>
Everything you do has a value, if you're not collecting it then <i>you're doing something wrong!</i> This was my last, and most useful teaching from restaurants. I began to think of the restaurant items as my stock, and this shifted <b>everything</b>! Suddenly my sales jumped as I became more invested in selling "my stock" and you know what high sales mean? Big tips! 
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This realization has carried me so far in life! I have led successful fundraisers, and drawn investors to my projects. I have networked my way into fancy events, and inspired people to get involved in whatever my current goal is. Marketing yourself seems hard at first, but eventually it is second nature in a conversation. You never know what opportunities are waiting for you!
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<div class="pull-left"><img src="https://images.ecency.com/DQmc39XyLhaSHKaTkGwWmSLFA6e52bNDa2SE34poXfK6tsb/6.jpg"></div>
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<i>Thank you for reading along! It was wild to go back and find old photos of myself, definitely a trip down memory lane!</i>
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 <i>If you have a service industry background as well, I'd love to hear something you've learned in the comments!</i>
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<i>I want to give a shout out to @yaziris who wrote an <b>amazing</b> post about HTML that I utilized to make this, it can be found <a href="https://peakd.com/@yaziris/ultimate-hive-html-post-formatting-guide">here</a> </i>
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vote details (322)
@beatrice3em ·
I sometimes tried a waitress job but it wasn't funny at all, I got stressed out with no time for my personal development. You had a wonderful experience. Thanks for sharing, cheers!
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@grindan ·
That's a super fair way to feel @beatrice3em! I think everyone who stays on for a service industry career is a bit of a glutton for punishment- the stress stays, you just get used to it lol! Thank you for your comment :)
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@bluefinstudios ·
I remember being 14 and going into my first kitchen! I was working in a family business, so, allowed that young. Busboy, dishwasher, prep cook, waiter, line cook, kitchen manager, and eventually a manager, in a steak house. Good times.

I moved from that to Theater, and believe it or not, the type of relationships between people are very similar in both worlds!
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@bluefinstudios ·
From #pypt on #dreemport
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@grindan ·
$0.10
I could totally see that @bluefinstudios ! The bustle of the restaurant getting ready to pull off the finishing act, everyone taunt and ready to do their thing, the curtain opens: dinner service! The service industry certainly would be a good primer for anyone to get into acting lol!
👍  
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vote details (1)
@dalz ·
Great story :)
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@grindan ·
Thanks @dalz!
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@grindan ·
well this looks different than the preview 😅 fixing now!
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@hivebuzz ·
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@ifarmgirl ·
It looks like you had gone quite a long way and it's great to read that you learnt through those years. An awesome trip I must say :) All the best to you and keep on :)
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@grindan ·
Thank you @ifarmgirl I'm so glad you enjoyed my walk down memory lane, and the things I learned there! 
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@ifarmgirl ·
I did so thank you lots for sharing ❤ Salute to you for coming to where you are now and to who you have become :)
!LADY
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@jamerussell ·
$0.02
Glad to see this working and improving, keep at it and it will get better and better.
!LADY
👍  ,
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vote details (2)
@jamerussell · (edited)
$0.02
I worked in a Denny's restaurant once for a brief period @grindan and I couldn't stand to see the wasted food, people taking one bite out of a perfect cut of meat and then leaving it. Food was wasted and tossed out regularly, and it got old and I quit. Amazing that you tolerated it for so long.
👍  ,
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vote details (2)
@grindan ·
$0.13
I used to ~~steal~~ rescue food because I hated that too! Eventually I was caught and fired, because corporations consider placing food into a ziplock vs the garbage to be theft 🤷‍♀️ what a world. I actually made a huge effort to get the owner of the next place I worked to partner with a local food bank, playing up the tax write off he could get... I was shot down because it seemed like a legal issue to him... what? Restaurant food waste logic is certainly infuriating. 
👍  
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@juliamulcahy ·
I definitely worked on the front line of a service industry. Teaching is not unlike being a server. Hah! 

Your patrons are a mixed bag. And one thing about kids (teens) is that they are no different from every other group of people. There are some you connect with easily and there are some that you constantly battle with. Selling is a big part of your job and when you get it right. It's magical! The payout is unlike anything else. 

As for what I learned. Well, you might have just stirred up something in me that will necessitate a post, but for now, the thing that stands out the most is that <i>everyone</i> is a teacher but you gotta want to learn to get the lesson. 💛
👍  
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vote details (1)
@ladiesofhive ·
![image.png](https://files.peakd.com/file/peakd-hive/ladiesofhive/23uFiy682w6eiXNAuvP9Nxnj6kVNmTsJao5a95QULnsKFonFQbnowbC2v5trE9GxjXyJC.png)
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@ladytoken ·
LOH 1662400835640
<div class='pull-right'>https://images.hive.blog/DQmUFKyWG6zjMAqY9tdbnb1FouE9bLKEAJNEDZSWzpWdZtM/image.png<p><sup><a href='https://hive-engine.com/?p=market&t=LOH'>View or trade </a> <code>LOH</code> tokens.</sup></p></div><center><br> <p>@grindan, You have received 1.0000 LOH for posting in Ladies of Hive. We believe that you should be rewarded for the time and effort spent in creating articles. The goal is to encourage token holders to accumulate and hodl LOH tokens over a long period of time.</p> </center><div></div>
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@mipiano · (edited)
$0.02
>People I loved and trusted had always hurt me, so it was normal right? No, no it is not.

Definitely, not normal, or should not be :)

Oh wow, you shaved your head? Cool, but then your hair is pretty cool too :))

And your last realization, market your skills. I guess it's a task for all of us, to understand our values and make others see that value too ;) 👍
👍  ,
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vote details (2)
@grindan ·
$0.03
Thank you for the great comment @mipiano! 

Being a baldy was fun, mostly to strip myself of a beauty symbol that I had always maintained to be presentable and pretty to others... it felt nice to just let that fly off in the breeze for a time! However... after awhile I sure did miss my hair! haha lucky it came back fairly quick! Thank you for the compliment, and stopping by! ❤️
👍  
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@mipiano ·
>haha lucky it came back fairly quick!


Hahah, luckily :D 

My grandma used to say that the hair will always grow again... when she was cutting my hair. Btw, she was a hairdresser, she had to say that :D 
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@nightbird01 · (edited)
You have gone through so many undesirable things still you are standing with pride.
We all are very proud of you.
Best wishes for you.

Let me ask one thing, can you please give me some suggestions how can I contribute in Hibe to create a wonderful for both me and my fellow members?
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@grindan ·
Hey @nightbird01! Thank you so much for the kind words, and for reaching out!

There are very few rules here, and really there is just one **important** one, which is do not plagiarize. It appears you are posting original content, with your images sourced correctly already- well done! 

Here are my suggestions for you:
- Don't be afraid to use markdown, there is a link to a guide on the "create post" page.
- TAG on your comments, it can be easy for a comment to slip through the cracks without a mention.
- Keep posting lengthy posts, that is well loved here! However, try to break your text up a bit more. Large blocks of text are a pet peeve of many community members and can also take away from the beauty of your post by making it feel cluttered. 
- Get to know some communities so you know where to share your content. [This](https://ecency.com/hive-140635/@nightbird01/you-owns-my-daydream-too) post for example, you could have tagged multiple communities that it meets the guidelines for. Unless specified it is always okay to tag multiple groups as long as they are relevant! More tags= more eyes

I haven't been here very long, so my suggestions come from a limited experience. I highly recommend joining the Terminal discord channel, which you can find [here](https://discord.gg/XZGPGpz) they have helped me *SO* much! 

Overall, I think you are an excellent Hiver! Don't be discouraged by a slow start, you will find a home here before you know it! Keep interacting and posting awesome content, you're doing great!
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@nightbird01 · (edited)
These are really good advices to keep in mind.
I will surely follow these rules in the future too.
I am a totally newbie on Hive this is why I have not have enough knowledge about Hive and I was not aware of these advices before until now.
Thank you sooo much for these suggestions.
I really really appreciate these.
Thank you for your appreciation, it means a lot to me.
Have a great day.
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@ninahaskin ·
@tipu curate
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@grindan ·
Thank you so much @ninahaskin :D! 
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@tipu ·
<a href="https://tipu.online/hive_curator?ninahaskin" target="_blank">Upvoted  &#128076;</a> (Mana: 45/55) <a href="https://peakd.com/hive/@reward.app/reward-app-quick-guide-updated" target="_blank">Liquid rewards</a>.
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@quduus1 ·
Hmmmmm this is indeed a good post dear, you have really Gone through a lot and at the end you turned out well which is something very beautiful, not all would fight very hard just you like you did, well done ma❤️❤️❤️
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@silversaver888 · (edited)
Thanks for sharing your experience and the lessons you learned in the process. It looks like you got very good schooling from your career, and such is the Way-To-Go! Many good through the motions and nit learn anything at all.
Very good and interesting article, @grindan !
May you continue on, giving your best always.
!LADY 😍🌺🤙
👍  
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vote details (1)
@grindan ·
$0.03
Thank you for the comment @silversaver888! I think going through the motions may be my worst fear in life, our time here is just too short to do that!! ❤️😊
👍  
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@silversaver888 ·
Yes, life is too short... you must enjoy it!
!LADY 😍🌺🤙
👍  
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@snook ·
Need to comment when I am awake...
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@thoughtfulposts ·
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