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Negativity is simply a self preservation instinct, part of your fight or flight response design to help you survive.

There are a lot of philosophies out there in the self help community or some religious beliefs that will tell you that negativity is the source of your problems and in order to change your life you have to be less negative.     

This types of beliefs tend to make people go at war with themselves, it creates a selective blind spot by telling people that the environment around them has no importance about making them feel negative emotions. It is the way they react and see the environment that creates the toxic negativity in them. Which absolves everybody around you from agency and dumps all the responsibility on the person who had enough and is attempting to change. 

At the core off all self sabotage is suppressed anger, assuming that you are not really trapped in an abusive situation where it is impossible for you to get away or fix it. The reason why you keep staying in those abusive situation and constantly hurt yourself is because you are constantly failing  to feel and express your anger. 

Anger in particularly is a taboo in society, when you have a very unfair world where a lot of people are getting abused on a regular basis. If they start to get angry about it they are more likely to do something about that unfair situation and stop it. Slaves are not allowed to get angry, if they get angry they get whipped. Causing others to suppress anger is just a way to disarm them.

There are four negative aspects all of them have a clear purpose and a benefit to enjoy when they are expressed in a healthy way, however when you are trapped in abuse or you think you are trapped, you are doing damage control which creates the impression that negativity is self destructive. Your negative emotion will persist for long periods of time when there is no closure and resolution.    

**Failure:**

- when you fail under pressure you grow;
- If you are trapped in abuse you are going to get in denial and fail over and over again because your self preservation instincts are no longer working

**Rejection:**

- You can get rejected by others, which gives you feed-back about yourself revealing some of your flaws and limitations;
- Or you can reject others because they are not good enough, this will eventually lead to having higher quality relationships.

**Anger:**

- You will feel anger when you are exposed to an unfair situation, and if you are successful at expressing your anger you will create safety in your life;
- Or you will experience anger when you are about to lose something that you already have.

**Sadness:**

- You can experience sadness when you realize that you did something wrong which will eventually lead to clarity;
- Or you can experience sadness when someone else did something wrong and unpredictable which generally leads to confusion. 

Being trapped in abuse will cause you to experience failure because of your denial, you will get rejected by others more often because you are dysfunctional, experience anger when you realize you are losing and then fell sadness without understanding the purpose of it which is going to be confusing. Than experiencing negativity is just another horrible aspect of living in hell.