There are times we are at a loss for words or say the wrong things. Situations come up and we do not know what to say and it can sometimes get us into a pile of trouble.

I think a quip by my mom is appropriate here. She used to say wounds of themouth heal very quickly but wounds given by the mouth heal very slowly.

So, how to avoid this. Read on as I share a few things that have helped me.

Think before you speak:

Let there be a filter between your thoughts and your mouth. Because you have thought it does not mean you should say it. There is a thin line between being blunt and being irresponsible. Words are like arrowsonce you let them loose, they do not return. Even if you apologise, they are going nowhere. They remain in the persons thoughts for a long time.

It is advisable to not talk when feeling any extreme emotion, be it joy or anger. Wait till you have full control of your emotions and can make logical decisions.

Sometimes we dont mean to say certain things but do because we are in a hurry to give a reply.

Empathise before you speak:

This just asks that you try to put yourself in the other persons shoes and then act accordingly. Try to process how you would feel if the words you are about to utter are said to you. Would it hurt? Would it ease the pain? Would cause harm? Empathy goes a long way in helping keep the peace and allowing relationships to flourish. It is not saying you should not talk but pick your words knowing the effects it would have in the listener.

Show respect

Your relationship determines your manner of interaction. It can further be determined by the age difference. Respect is not age specific but those who are older,by nature of being older, tends to expect a level of difference. It means you have to be much more careful with utterance.

Don't be judgemental.

Nobody likes to be judge including you. People tell you something because they see you as a friend and confidant. Even if you don't agree with them it's not in your place to judge them. This is especially so if the person is sharing a sad or painful story.
LEARN to talk without judging, learn to contribute without a holier-than-thou attitude. Do not be one of those people who look to fault the victim instead of trying to provide a helping hand or shoulder to lean on.

Acknowledged other people's feelings.

People gets angry when someone denies the intensity their feelings. So when you say something like '' you are not that upset, come on'' or you were not happy with your job in the first place, you probably are making them more upset.
Another mistake is trying to talk about when a similar thing happens to you. No, do not do this. In that situation, it is not about you and do not make it about you.

Follow their lead

When people are talking to you especially when they are sad,they keep coming back to the point. It seems to help them to keep talking about that same issue. It's not always obvious why some aspect of the problem would be so worrisome, and I use to try to move the conversation along but now I think it's most helpful to follow someone's lead and keep talking about that thing that keeps weighing them down the most.

Don't say anything at the height of your emotions.
Many at times you say something out of excitement like''oh, I like you so much, you are the most beautiful person!'' or '' I would never talk to you again '' but when you are calm, you realize that you never meant what you said. So, don't speak when you so excited or emotional.