https://i.imgur.com/IuLDzA6.jpg
*oil pastel on paper*

I made a plug for Consensus Decision Making for Steemit Meetups, and now I am going to add another kind of Consensus - much less formal - much easier - that I found in the Anarchist Library, [here](https://theanarchistlibrary.org/library/seeds-for-change-consensus-decision-making.pdf). And I am going to share a little of my experience with this.

A group that really works, is one where each member is like a moth flying around a flame. The flame is not a person, it is the flow of energy of all of the members and is greater than the sum of it's parts. If the members of the group think of themselves as all necessary parts of the group that has been drawn together, they can each learn patience and tolerance with the personalities, strong and meek. If a group is dependent upon *the cult of personality* in order to thrive, although it might stay together for many years, it will stagnate from within.

# Here are the steps of a simple democratic decision-making process:

Have a secretary writing stuff down, who is also a participant. Everyone participates which encourages good manners. 

*I have found this process takes about a month (although as you are learning it takes longer), in a group of about 10-15 people, taking about an hour per session, meeting 1x per week. The time in between is very important, as it provides time for intuitive thought to come to people and discussion outside the group. Also, strong personalities who everyone knows are the "leader" need to keep that in mind and at times back off, having said what they need to say, and encourage the shyer members to speak up.*

1. Name the "problem" or the decision that has to be made.

2. Discuss all possible solutions. Make sure everyone participates. Write all the solutions down.
There should be space throughout the process for clarification and discussion, but each member of the group should be responsible for keeping the meeting on track.

3. Discuss the options written down. *Modify some, eliminate others.*

4. The "Secretary" states the proposal(s), at the beginning of each meeting, so that everybody is clear.

5. Discuss the pros and cons of each proposal — make sure everyone contributes.

6. If there is a major objection, go back to discussion of pro's and cons, etc. (this can take time). 

7. If there are no major objections, state the decisions.

8. Acknowledge objections and incorporate amendments.

9. Discussion.

10. Is there consensus?

# It Takes Time
Why this this so unattractive to people? *FEAR* People have not experienced it. Yes it can take time, however, if you really want people to *do* what your group decides on, you had better get consensus. Our group basically does not vote on anything - we talk until we all agree, or at least until we have 2/3rds majority. There are people who will argue just for the sake of argument, in the group itself, and then agree one-on-one. 

# People are Different In a Group
This is why it is important to follow horizontal decision-making - because - in a group - there is the *entropic* force to follow *Group Think*. People have to enforce the *centropic* force of *higher consciousness* to keep *individual well-being* at the foreground, which is the essence of anarchy (freedom).

# Egos
The other reason most people don't want to do this is that you might have to admit you are wrong. You might not get your way. A meek person might come up with the right answer. There might be unpleasant feelings of limbo for a while. There might be confrontations. People might use childish tactics like making faces, huffing and puffing, eye-rolls, sarcasm, yelling, and if this happens, it is up to the people to handle this maturely - talk to the person one-on-one - not in the group. Do *not* be punitive. If someone is trying to *get attention* they should be talked to privately, by 2 members of the group, about their behavior, in a forgiving spirit.

# Unity
The result of using this form of decision-making is a tremendous *unity* which cannot be created in any other way. It's as if the warmth of the candle permeates the souls of all the moths, and makes them one with another. Trust is built. Love is created. The goal of the group becomes, not so much the goal of the individual, but:

In an allegorical way...

1. Making sure the flame keeps burning
2. Making sure the members don't smother the flame
3. Making sure the wind from outside doesn't blow the flame out
4. Making sure no one knocks the candle over.
5. Making sure there's enough oxygen
6. Making sure there's enough candle
7. Making sure there are matches
8. Making sure we don't get burned
9. Making sure there is room for new folks to come in and enjoy the warmth
10. Keeping the environment clean and welcoming

# Another Hidden Benefit

People grow up. They become respectful of one another. They practice good manners - because they have something that they know is valuable. They become their own inner monarchy, instead of needing to be controlled from without.