![IMG_5799.jpg](https://cdn.steemitimages.com/DQmZSakoCwSNQy8VLz8kWS3pXWD4hMpicmWuZL5ryJfMXzd/IMG_5799.jpg)

This morning at about 2AM I rearranged the furniture in my living room so I could put this piece of backdrop paper up that I found in the dumpster about a year ago, so that I could start an intuitive painting on it, this morning. 

# I have been thinking about this for about a month.

![IMG_5800.jpg](https://cdn.steemitimages.com/DQmWuQYNPNNxrvzy9xNVrWAqi2fiDJP2dCVAdR9PdfxESgB/IMG_5800.jpg)
I did not really clean up before I moved the couch and the coffee table into the middle of the room. I will have to clean up some so I don't lose stuff, but I just can't take it anymore. I am down to my last $100, and I have not yet found a job.

With Saturn in the 2nd House, I always have to work harder than most people to get even up to the plate, but I was climbing steadily out of the hole from 2015, and had finally gotten a job I really liked as an assistant to an African Art Ebay Seller ![ad.jpg](https://cdn.steemitimages.com/DQmXDeHWNn7qZnRF2rMfdRmKoHjG8mW21YYQMU35oY44Ldy/ad.jpg)https://www.africadirect.com/?SID=il23sn8n3kkfip8d4tm79mvni6 
 in Park Hill, Denver, when we had
![car.JPG](https://cdn.steemitimages.com/DQmVSwdmvNSywPDKYRrcMHxRAqDQakpySDiYv4fCBw4VkWp/car.JPG)

 that accident back in April. Then Uranus went RX on Aug 11, and although it is predicted to have good effects, since Saturn is in Aqua in my 2nd house, it seems to be dragging me back down into the hole again. I wish that I could move back to NY where I lived with other artist-types and people who understand me. Here in Denver, most people are total "workers". Me, I am a professional artist, unable to sell it - and I have given up on trying to sell it because of the drain it puts on my spirit. I have taken down all of my sites, except my website which I use to catalog my personal artist achievements. https://joannawhitney.weebly.com/

# Do not give me advice! This is not a cry for help. It is a statement of my experience. My great-uncle had the same problem - Arnold Friedman - https://www.artsy.net/artist/arnold-friedman - he worked at the Post Office his whole life and never sold any of his work... at least he was able to work at the Post Office - he must have had a little earth in his chart or been a fixed sign. Me, I am all fire and water and air with one planet in Virgo. Not exactly an earth sign - just a way for my Air to throw dirt around.

Now, I am back to Square 1 again. No job, no money, my relationship is almost dead. 

# Yesterday,  I had had a huge disappointment because I had seemingly gotten a job working for an amazing community dance company in Park Hill, Denver.

![Screenshot_2019-08-24 Your Soul's Movement Welcome to Your Soul's Movement Performing Arts .png](https://cdn.steemitimages.com/DQmZGpaQffZhCKe9wacHrXf6jJywRbmE2xvnNEmcpuqesjH/Screenshot_2019-08-24%20Your%20Soul's%20Movement%20Welcome%20to%20Your%20Soul's%20Movement%20Performing%20Arts%20.png)

# But the lady never called...

I would have been able to learn to work with kids, get into dance again, and help this woman. I wracked my brains to figure out what I said wrong, because it seemed like a perfect fit - and like the job had come from the Higher Power...and I have no idea why she did not pick me.

# I sat in front of the TV all day yesterday avoiding feeling, and then in the wee hours I moved the furniture and put up that piece of paper. This morning, I took out the tempera paint and started this painting which is about 4 by 7 feet I guess. I have not worked like this in at least 10 years.

I am going to have to dig into the GoFundMe money to support myself till I get another job, and I can just feel K's disapproval - being an electrician who started back to work immediately after getting out of the hospital April 18, he does not understand my difficulty at all. We'll see how all this works out.

# And to add insult to injury, we have the new HARD FORK coming - to slash income if you make under $20 per post. 

My thanks goes out to the Steemit Government.