Hi, guys!


![20211222_164239.jpg](https://images.hive.blog/DQmeXVQ95PCykmAtqq5X7qyJxNbpsMkv7VDNeGZtaPZjLsd/20211222_164239.jpg)
Today I finally managed to have a normal conversation with my doctor and explain to him exactly what changes have occurred in my condition and what exactly worries me. And finally he heard me. Today the three of us talked: me, my doctor and the head of the department. My treatment was completely changed, and from tomorrow, or rather even from today, it will be completely different. I really hope that such a change will give a quick positive result. I would very much like to celebrate the New Year at home, and not in the hospital.

This funny book, which I put on the cover of the publication, is actually a notebook, it says "how to manage the Universe without attracting the attention of orderlies". I think this is a good joke. I still try to remain optimistic, although I am rapidly getting much worse. But, as I said, my doctor and I will change my treatment. Now I will take lithium. This is what I was afraid for all the time that I knew about my diagnosis. But now I'm not afraid of anything. I just want this to end. And so that I could return home and live a normal, calm life, I even agree to make it more measured and stop demanding too much from myself, because it seems that it’s impossible to live like that.

By the way, this is a problem for many people who have manic-depressive psychosis. Some of them simply do not remember how to live differently. Living without moving from one phase to another. Living without hiding in manic phases. Too strong efforts, which then lead to severe depressive phases. I want to learn to live like this, balanced. I will sincerely miss hypomania, everyone loves with them, no one ever wants to go to the doctor. But this is a mistake because the more this pendulum swings, the more expensive it will later be paid for it.

Take care of yourself and your lived ones;)

See you in the next post!
Love, Inber