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When everything pushes on you by inber

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· @inber · (edited)
$47.63
When everything pushes on you
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<p>Hi, guys!</p>
<p>So, I must say that I reached the moment when I nearly give up. Seems like my mental disorder is winning me this time (and by the way that's the main reason why there was no video last week - I just can't step over my anxiety).&nbsp;</p>
<p><img src="http://cdn.frontlinegenomics.com/wp-content/uploads/Anxiety-640x367.png"/></p>
<p><a href="http://www.frontlinegenomics.com/news/10582/genetics-social-anxiety/">Image credit</a></p>
<p>Yesterday in the evening I talked to my husband and said that I'm feeling worse and worse, and have no idea what to do. Well, it's obvious what I should do - I must visit my doctor again, tell her, what's happening, then restart my psychotherapy program again ect. But the thing is - is such state even if you realize what you should do you feel paralyzed. Even at the moment, writing this post and technically knowing that I must pick up the phone, register for doctor's appointment I feel so twisted and this feeling in my hands - my fingers just live with a separate life, I can't control them.</p>
<p>I also know that I should stand up, take Astro, take my skate and just spend at least a few time outside, but it's so hard to even get out of bed. Bed becomes a hiding place when you feel high anxiety level. And often you keep yourself safe with oversleeping.&nbsp;</p>
<p>I hope I'll manage to take the phone and just make doctor's appointment. First step, huh?</p>
<p><img src="https://scontent-frt3-2.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t31.0-8/22424659_520094184996414_1104385019697243838_o.jpg?oh=40cf5861b2e0ea5dc4354f40646d4d2c&amp;oe=5A7E2BD5" width="2001" height="895"/></p>
<p><strong>I wish you all the best and will be happy if you'll support me with vote:)</strong></p>
<p><em>Love, Inber</em></p>
<center><a href="https://steemit.com/@inber"><img src="https://scontent-frt3-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/16996301_413201865685647_5174646485342749617_n.jpg?oh=196dc71a250ceaed5bd983b02a4f7578&oe=5926867F"/></a></center>
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vote details (48)
@aulia1993 ·
Upvote back friend
👎  ,
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vote details (2)
@betaniaj ·
Hello beautiful do not give up that you can be fine, do your best what you like that will help you and you will be busy you will get ahead I believe in you you are a girl full of many energies, come on if you can @inber
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@cborka · (edited)
Иногда смотришь на людей, которым плохо и знаешь, что не сможешь помочь и что ничего им объяснить не сможешь и даже не сможешь представить как они там себя чувствуют. И думаешь тогда, а смог бы я выбраться из такой ситуации? И становится даже интересно. Это одна из причин почему я начал курить, мне тогда 20 лет было. Было интересно, а смогу ли я бросить потом. Сначала было бросать легко, потом всё труднее и потом я понял, всё, я попал, надо бросать по серьёзному. Ну, короче, всё же бросил, когда мне уже 30 лет было, но это было не легко.

Бывает у всех хорошее настроение, бывает плохое, бывает  когда энергия прёт и когда сил вообще нет и шевелиться неохота и это не тело устало, а состояние ума. Это конечно не то, совсем не то, но что я делаю тогда? Да ничего. Наверное практикую непривязанность, как учил Будда :) Хорошее настроение, ну ок, хорошо. Плохое настроение, ну ок, побуду в плохом для разнообразия.
Раньше занимался самокопанием, самоковырянием, что да как, да почему, а потом наступил какой-то момент когда я забил просто на это. Решил не рефлексировать. Какой есть, такой есть, какое состояние есть, такое и есть.  И стало легче. Или не стало? Да пофиг :)

Короче, "денег нет, но вы держитесь" (с).
Будет новый день и новое состояние и настроение.
Да я смотрю, уже всё поправляется, картиночки, юмор, чукча рисователь,  без вашего дневника на стимите будет намного скучнее. Это я про себя если что, эгоизм потому что :)
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@inber ·
Дааа, с курением это засада, конечно. Сама "от большого ума" начала, потом долго и мучительно бросала.
Дневничок будет продолжаться обязательно, это один из моих способов терапии)
👍  
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@deusx ·
Nice story of yours <3
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@donnadavisart ·
You poor dear, I hope you can get the help you need. I'd love to give advice, but it seems that you have anxiety and sadness so great maybe a professional will help?

Obviously, going out and getting exercise is really good and important for all our mental and physical health, but again I don't know what it is you are going through. So, I hope you find your way and at least your fellow Steemians will be behind you. :)
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@inber · (edited)
I'm exercising all the time, sometimes it's everything that keeps me alive. Thank you for your support!
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@erikaflynn ·
$0.20
Не сочтите меня спамером, но возможно эта статья будет вам интересна https://steemit.com/health/@snowpea/one-of-the-most-common-gene-mutations-you-could-have-it-and-not-even-know-it
Она не моя, но в ней есть интересное объяснение того, почему некоторые психические расстройства могут не поддаваться классическим методам лечения.
👍  
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@inber ·
$0.03
Спасибо, почитаю. Мое поддается, суть скорее в том, что иногда не смотря на медикаментозное лечение все равно "срывает", и от этого дико неприятно.
👍  
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@fsfblender ·
Look forward and not back. Post something you love . We will read it. 
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@glorimarbolivar ·
Good day beautiful, I do not know what you're going through, it should not be easy, I can only tell you that you are a very warrior woman and I know you can beat your anxiety, make your doodle and do your exercises will help you a lot and so your mind is busy we are with you the family of steemit, come on if you can kiss
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@imrans ·
very good post, and get back to health
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@moemanmoesly ·
$0.05
Have you ever had your work commissioned?
👍  
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@raza333 ·
Don't worry dear you will be fine soo... You just take care of yourself and visit to doctor 😷 for eraly recovery... You should take some rest.
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@inber ·
Thank you for your support!
Rest scares. I know that if I will stop making myself doing at least something I will fall deeper.
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@reddust ·
Get out of bed @inber, you will feel better once you are outside. Anxiety is a feeling, it is not you, you can walk past it and not give it your energy or thoughts. You can do it! I believe in you, you have courage and wisdom <3
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@inber ·
Thank you dear @reddust! In the evening I have fly yoga class, so I'll get out anyway. I think Astro would appreciate a walk too
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@reddust ·
That's why I have my dog Mina, she gets both me and my husband out of the house for our daily walks. We walk around 4 miles a day, walking is like a happy pill for me...

Wish I was there to give you hugs, but you may not be in the mood for them right now...hahahahah <3
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@youhavewings ·
I'm sorry you're feeling this way, @Inber.  I don't know what your situation is that has led you to feel this way but I hope you're able to move past it and feel better.   Don't give up!
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@inber ·
$0.02
Thank you for your support!
👍  
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vote details (1)
@youhavewings ·
You're welcome, @inber.  I've been there many times myself.  It's difficult when you're a deep person and so aware.  Walking in nature, doing art, aromatherapy, music,  loving on my animals and kids....help.  And sometimes caring people make the world of difference ;)  Have a beautiful day
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