Well things are starting to focus in with my building project in some areas, while getting more uncertain in others. 

## What's More Clear

<br>From among the many natural home building materials I was considering, I've narrowed down the following for this particular location:

- [Light straw clay](https://www.motherearthnews.com/green-homes/natural-building/what-is-light-straw-clay-ze0z1805zmos) insulation with earthen plaster walls and floors (above a concrete subfloor)
- Radiant solar heat for part of the house, with a propane stove for some parts and radiant floor heat for other parts (depending on whether first or second floor)
- About 550 sq ft for the cottage and 1100 sq ft for the main house, so both pretty small.
- Catchment water system instead of well (much less expensive at that elevation)
- 5KW solar array with no grid tie-in
- Standard septic and plumbing except greywater reclamation for the succulent garden and newly planted pine trees

<br>If I buy land in a different region, I may build totally differently on any of these points, but for this particular location this seems ideal. 

![image.png](https://ipfs.busy.org/ipfs/QmfTt3UQ7XmS8oBKCAdJK2d1vwvcZDvir9pQfN3vGva2fa)
[Source](https://aprovechonaturalbuilders.wordpress.com/tag/light-straw-clay/)

## What's Less Clear

<br>I had been pretty clear I was going to break ground this Spring on a 1 BR cottage that I would live in while waiting for crypto to rebound enough for me to use some to build the larger house. Then the cottage would become a vacation rental and I would live in the standard size house. 

But now I'm thinking about just waiting, and building the main house first. I can always rent that house out in the Winters for snow season, as the location is very near the ski resort. 

So now I'm not sure when I'll be building, or what I'll really be doing in the meantime while I wait to be able to build.

#### What do you do while waiting to be able to do what you want to do?

<br>The clarity that's come to me on that score is that all I'm ever really doing is hopefully enjoying my life and contributing to the life enjoyment of others as well. Whether I've finished the building projects yet or not, that's all I'm doing with my life. 

*To be a good person and live a good life, what else is ever really going on?*

There is still a sense of restlessness though, because I would like to feel settled in a place, and I'm not. I know I'm not going to live in the house I'm in now past Autumn at latest, preferably less than even that. I'm definitely not paying $500 a month for propane again next Winter, or living in a house with no fence to protect my dog when she goes out to pee. 

Not only do I not know if I'll be in this neighborhood, where I have such great relations with all my neighbors, but whether I'll be in this state or even this country. It's possible that spending enough time with my family this Summer may result in my being able to leave my dog with one of my nieces while I travel internationally for next Winter. Tricky logistics on all of it though.

![question-mark-1872665_1280 (1).jpg](https://ipfs.busy.org/ipfs/Qmdmhg3LTnoWsZeobZgUbLhbd6WeQssUFEx78BP5ftX3fF)
[Source](https://pixabay.com/en/question-mark-important-sign-1872665/)

That uncertainty of not having enough pinned down to plan ahead is causing me some stress. I hate not knowing what I'm even trying to do!

And yet, I must surrender into that lack of knowing. The alternative is just to have my head endlessly spinning, but no greater clarity anyway. 

So that's what's up with the idea of "home" for me these days. Tomorrow I leave for Austin and will be meeting up with a number of friends there, including 2 sisters I used to share a duplex with on 1 acre in Hawaii a decade ago. Who knows, that might even wind up being a regular part of my future trajectory, even if just going back and forth between here and there each year while my dog is with me. It's at least driveable in a day. 

## Have You Found Your Home?

<br>*Do you feel like where you live right now is truly your "home?"*

*Is it built the way you most want and in the location you most want?*

*Did you do build your place (with or without electric grid tie-in) or move into a pre-built house?*

*If 'no' to any of the above, what would you include in your ideal homestead build and where would it be?*