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To be completely Frank, self-confident people are unprofitable. A disadvantage of power, unfavorable bosses, disadvantageous sellers are willing to deceive anyone, taxi drivers, employers who are willing to wear you out for the trial period and not pay for your labor. But first, who would benefit from your insecurities, it was your parents and carers, as well as teachers. The entire system of upbringing of children and adults rests on one single whale – submission. It is for you to obey, you are told from childhood that you are a bad, defective, and occasionally someone passed the bowl of bitter honey of education. If you like to be uncertain-be and please others, but know that success is achieved by those who were able to become self-confident.
# Where did her legs grow from?
Before you figure out how to overcome self-doubt, you need to ask your parents about it. It is worth to mention, parents are not to blame, they are also raised. And this is a problem not only Soviet pedagogy. Demanding from us something, parents compared us with other children, lowered self-esteem simply for moreover, to you listened to. The same thing was done by educators and teachers. Before you can overcome self-doubt, you need to remember two key things:
- Objectively the man who is not very confident, does not differ for the worse from those whom it considers to be normal and confident;
- There is no normality. There is only what is important and necessary for you and your family. Except themselves, Yes, your home we don't have anyone, and therefore, there is no difference, think about us.
# Now the practice.
- Forget about the fact that you are ugly, fat, ridiculous, etc so it's not exactly fair to those who actually have physical defects. Let me just say, you don't have shoes, and somebody doesn't have feet. So that on the morning itself necessarily are talking about how, that you the most-the most, expressing all of this in three compliments. And if something is wrong with you, you can fix it. So, the author was in his childhood a real problem with coordination and this was a tragedy in childhood: my classmates laughed at the girl falling out of nowhere. Once the author signed up for a dance in spite of his trouble. A few years coordination has emerged, and with it came a slim figure, stretching, musicality and a lot of fans. Dancing in General works wonders and turns ordinary girls into Queens.
- Do not be afraid of mistakes. You have a right to them. Even if your parents believed children for the slightest mistake, the right to be wrong you have no one to take away. Even the most successful people climbed to success through their own falls. So, Faina Ranevskaya was not taken to the theater school, deciding that she is ugly and not talented. The girl saved the fall. In a syncope. In front of her favorite actor by Kachalov. But Feodor Chaliapin in his youth was not taken to the choir, having decided that he had no hearing, no voice. Read biographies of famous people!
- Believe me, that, too, deserve happiness! Even if you have difficulties on a personal front or at work, it does not mean that you are not worthy to be happy.
- Know you can handle it. Pots are not gods, but about human capabilities have a lot of amazing stories. Maybe the person you admire also started washing dishes. Try to keep a diary of their achievements at work and in school for at least thirty days, and you will realize that you can do a lot.
- The comfort zone must be left. Something unusual to do at least two or three times a week: move your grandmother across the road, meet with a young man...Keep a diary of unusual.
# Uncertainty in communication
It allows waiters and sellers to count you, and to the administration to hang on you all new tasks and to turn into a scapegoat.
- To avoid this, we break the comfort zone constantly. Just do what you're embarrassed about.…
- Going to a luxury boutique or a cool car showroom, carefully study all the goods. When the seller asks what you want, so tell me what you want solely to look at. Look, we leave in silence. There'll be nothing for it.
- In the furniture or electronics store, ask consultants to show a couple of goods and consult. Do not buy anything and leave the store.
- Ask passers-by for money on the subway. Just say you forgot your wallet at home.
- Ask the cashier at the store to exchange a large bill. Just ask and don't make excuses.
- In the bus or metro will ask those sitting to give you a place. What for? You're not feeling well. Breaking the comfort zone, you will come to the idea that no one should have anything and no worse than others. It is important to choose the situation that you find most difficult, and before the task to configure themselves only positively.
When you perform a say all clear and look in the eyes, use the word "I" in the statement of its requests and no apologies. This does not mean that you need to become aggressive: the position of the person to whom you addressed, you need to respect. After praise yourself even if the trick failed: you have overcome the barrier in communication, but it is also important. After you can think of more challenges in communication.
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