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(IJCH) Stupid me, I knew better. I choked on my sandwich while watching YouTube videos! (or How I wasted a perfectly good chicken sandwich!) by jaichai

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humor · @jaichai · (edited)
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(IJCH) Stupid me, I knew better. I choked on my sandwich while watching YouTube videos! (or How I wasted a perfectly good chicken sandwich!)
# <center>(IJCH) Stupid me, I knew better. I choked on my sandwich while watching YouTube videos! (or How I wasted a perfectly good chicken sandwich!)</center>
# 
<center>![pretty-stinky.jpg](https://cdn.steemitimages.com/DQmQDo3mMxt9nwrcjXVBSUBmtAg5oqMnkaFVvYinJ7TqYnc/pretty-stinky.jpg)</center><center>[Source](http://scribblescoop.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/05/pretty-stinky.jpg)</center>
# 
# <center>***IJCH - Inside JaiChai's Head (Meaning: My Warped, Personal Opinions and Musings)***</center>
##### 
# 
<center>![](https://fm.cnbc.com/applications/cnbc.com/resources/img/editorial/2017/10/20/104786213-GettyImages-675938062.530x298.jpg?v=1508511748)</center><center>[Source](https://fm.cnbc.com/applications/cnbc.com/resources/img/editorial/2017/10/20/104786213-GettyImages-675938062.530x298.jpg?v=1508511748)</center>
# 
***From the Author:***

***Salutations.***

***I am JaiChai.***

***And if I haven't had the pleasure of meeting you before, I'm delighted to make your acquaintance now.***
# 
<center>![](https://hips.hearstapps.com/hmg-prod.s3.amazonaws.com/images/articles/2016/06/handshake-1488909729.jpg?resize=768:*)</center><center>[Source](https://hips.hearstapps.com/hmg-prod.s3.amazonaws.com/images/articles/2016/06/handshake-1488909729.jpg?resize=768:*)</center>
# 

***I invite you to interact with everyone, learn, and have as much fun as possible!***

***For my returning online friends, "It's always great to see you again!"***
# 
# <center>Note to Self: Eating while viewing YouTube videos can be hazardous to your health!</center>
# 
<center>![](http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-P6jD0HhXXGU/T1agWAtAMNI/AAAAAAAABSE/vQotTOIqAio/s1600/017.JPG)</center><center>[Source](http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-P6jD0HhXXGU/T1agWAtAMNI/AAAAAAAABSE/vQotTOIqAio/s1600/017.JPG)</center>
# 
Ignoring the widely held belief in the myth of  Mama Cass's choking death (she actually died of a heart attack),
# 
<center>![](https://theredshtick.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/Mama-Cass-Ham-Sandwich.png)</center><center>[Source](https://theredshtick.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/Mama-Cass-Ham-Sandwich.png)</center>
# 
and contrary to recommendations from Clinical Dietitians, Emergency Health Professionals and of course, Ralph Nader, 
# 
<center>![](https://media.reason.com/mc/afisher/2016_08/nader_.jpg?h=225&w=300)</center><center>[Source](https://media.reason.com/mc/afisher/2016_08/nader_.jpg?h=225&w=300)</center>
# 
I brazenly cheat death and eat - yes, even 5-inch, chicken sandwiches with lots of lettuce, tomatos (Oops, sorry. I meant "tomatoes". Damn you, Dan Quayle!), cheese, grilled onions, and oodles of artery clogging mayo while watching TV or online video content.
# 
<center>![](https://cdn.newsapi.com.au/image/v1/8cb848e7920b5f7a9642853d44925c84)</center><center>[Source](https://cdn.newsapi.com.au/image/v1/8cb848e7920b5f7a9642853d44925c84)</center>
# 
But the odds finally caught up with me and I found myself choking on my sandwich while watching the heretofore (Who the Hell uses the word "heretofore" anymore!? I guess only me, stupid me, no?) mentioned YouTube videos.
# 
<center>![](https://northdominion.files.wordpress.com/2018/04/img_7895.jpg?w=1100)</center><center>[Source](https://northdominion.files.wordpress.com/2018/04/img_7895.jpg?w=1100)</center>
# 
No worries.

I quickly self-administered the Heimlich Maneuver and dislodged the offending mix of chicken, lettuce, and cheese.

How did I do that, you say?

Unbeknownst to the general public, YOU CAN self-administer the Heimlich Maneuver.
# 
<center>![](https://ufhealth.org/sites/default/files/graphics/images/en/23222.jpg)</center><center>[Source](https://ufhealth.org/sites/default/files/graphics/images/en/23222.jpg)</center>
# 
See this video:
## <center>"How to Give Yourself the Heimlich Maneuver | First Aid Training"</center>
# 
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FEr9jjZ6fi8
# 
Damnit!  I wasted a perfectly good chicken sandwich!

In my haste to clear my trachea, I carelessly stood up, bumped the table, and spilled my Starbuck's - a double half caff with cinnamon and a shot of Rhum that I had to take out a second mortgage to afford - over my sandwich!
# 
<center>![](https://i.pinimg.com/736x/58/fd/6e/58fd6e87f9f76e624bb3a0584e769044--cool-inventions-hot-coffee.jpg)</center><center>[Source](https://i.pinimg.com/736x/58/fd/6e/58fd6e87f9f76e624bb3a0584e769044--cool-inventions-hot-coffee.jpg)</center>
# 
The end result was a Rhum soaked chicken sandwich sponge!

Shit! It's a 20 minute walk to the sandwich shop!

(Heavy Sigh)

Oh well, at least my dogs got a good buzz...
# 
<center>![](http://petslady.com/sites/default/files/inline-images/SKOL-dog.img_assist_custom.jpg)</center><center>[Source](http://petslady.com/sites/default/files/inline-images/SKOL-dog.img_assist_custom.jpg)</center>
# 
And just about the only thing funnier is when they're in my bedroom while I'm inhaling my vaporized medication from "Da Glaucoma Doctor, Mon"!
# 
<center>![](https://qph.fs.quoracdn.net/main-qimg-60f740a402c17ca7bc3421d4e28c47e2-c)</center><center>[Source](https://qph.fs.quoracdn.net/main-qimg-60f740a402c17ca7bc3421d4e28c47e2-c)</center>
#  
# <center>Parting Shot</center>
# 
Maybe I should switch to double grilled cheese hamburgers?
# 
<center>![](https://res.cloudinary.com/complex/image/upload/c_fill,g_faces,w_1100/fl_lossy,pg_1,q_auto/botgy2cn3xgewv2fwguf.jpg)</center><center>[Source](https://res.cloudinary.com/complex/image/upload/c_fill,g_faces,w_1100/fl_lossy,pg_1,q_auto/botgy2cn3xgewv2fwguf.jpg)</center>
# 
# 
## <center>**By JaiChai**</center>
##### 
## <center>**Mighty Kind of You for stopping by.**</center>
# 
## <center>**Truly hope to see you again!**</center>
##### 
<center>![](https://steemitimages.com/DQmZ653us9mMijDZsN7zev3M8MzGhByinRhidv3eGspiXmA/600800.jpg) </center><center>[Source](https://steemitimages.com/DQmZ653us9mMijDZsN7zev3M8MzGhByinRhidv3eGspiXmA/600800.jpg)</center>
##### 
# 
About the Author

Believing that school was too boring, he dropped out of High School early; only to earn an AA, BS and MBA in less than 4 years much later in life – while working full-time as a Navy/Marine Corps Medic.

In spite of a fear of heights and deep water, he performed high altitude, free-fall parachute jumps and hazardous diving ops in deep, open ocean water.
# 
<center>![AM490.jpg](https://cdn.steemitimages.com/DQmXE1WLuW3iSgbiphtXeitgMddczppoHUiuVzE5gCTctik/AM490.jpg)</center>
# 
After 24 years of active duty, he retired in Asia.

Since then, he's been a full-time, single papa and actively pursuing his varied passions (Writing, Disruptive Technology, Computer Science and Cryptocurrency - plus more hobbies too boring or bizarre for most folk).

He lives on an island paradise with his teenage daughter, longtime girlfriend and three dogs.
#####
# 
<center>![busy animated gif.gif](https://steemitimages.com/DQmaVUbk57UVi1ATCPmVby7hKz8wnJzUTDceLgK4aEHGKoy/busy%20animated%20gif.gif)</center><center>[Source](https://res.cloudinary.com/hpiynhbhq/image/upload/v1512270487/ezypkgg38xw07myyssgj.gif)</center>
<center> ***(More articles by JaiChai can be found on the Busy.org website. [Use this link to visit Busy.org](https://busy.org/i/@jaichai). Better yet, come join the Busy.org community!)***</center>
##### 
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##### 
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##### 
<center>*"My mind was a terrible thing to waste..." - JaiChai*</center>
#####
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vote details (335)
@binoy2018 · 
wow awesome sir..
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@jaichai · 
Thanks. I'm glad you liked it.

Namaste, JaiChai
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@binoy2018 · 
thank you sir..
👍  
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vote details (1)
@corpsvalues · 
Stop trying to have fun and eat at the same time! Eating should be a somber affair! I'm sorry for the loss of your sandwich (and that you are ok too =p )
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@jaichai · 
If you don't get any jazz out of it, what's the point of doing it?

Thanks for visiting, my friend.

Namste, Jaichai
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@originalathena · 
Boy o boy you do write some very eye Catching titles and interesting stories.🤔 with this being said.now I have to follow.because I wanna know.where does your rabbit hole go.thanks for sharing 🙏🏽  Namaste 

Athena
👍  ,
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vote details (2)
@jaichai · 
Thanks a lot for visiting and commenting.

Namaste, JaiChai
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beneficiaries[]
max_accepted_payout1,000,000.000 HBD
percent_hbd10,000
post_id64,820,315
net_rshares0
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