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>Who wants to control you, is emotional blackmail.

You often feel guilty. You don't really know if you did something wrong. But you feel like you failed. And that already has you trapped in guilt. 

Before feeling feelings of guilt, it is necessary to check if we really committed a bad act or if we are really being manipulated, so that we feel that way. To think that many times everything points to you and it's up to you to take on the emotional blackmail, but it's like that. Especially when that emotional blackmail is heard or spoken like "I didn't expect that from you" do you recognize this controlling phrase that manipulates you emotionally? With what I would have done for you? Haha 🤔 and you fall, you end up surrendering to the guilt that makes you feel really bad 🙈, with thoughts like: swallow me dirt, make me disappear 🫥.

I always tell myself that when they try to control me in this way and the guilt makes me back down, I mean, take two steps back and ask myself something basic... it will be that... Did I make a mistake? Or, did I just decide not to give in?.

Without a doubt, the fault is NOT always yours, nor is it the cow's fault. Sometimes they inject it drop by drop intravenously, until they make you kneel for things that you didn't even do wrong. You have to understand that if you feel free, it makes you feel guilty, there is something that is not working well with your self-esteem.

That's why it's essential to have self-esteem to set limits and to the first one of someone who tries to manipulate, and make us feel guilty telling them "this thing you're doing to me, doesn't go with me". Red flags should always be on alert when irony, sarcasm, hurtful or humiliating words come into our lives in a low tone. Making yourself feel guilty for something you haven't done is control disguised as good intentions. 

There are violent manipulators who know how to harm very "subtly" with puns, including family members, and people with a lack of character who let themselves be fucked to make you feel guilty. I hate mal bad taste jokes. It's demeaning. I don't know let anyone do that. It demands respect first of all. It is better to put on the brakes immediately or practical jokes will escalate to worse situations. 

I invite you to strengthen your self-esteem, do not allow yourself to be ridiculed in public, mocked or disrespected for your discomfort. Forget about that. Keep your boundaries clear! Pay attention to the signs. Don't put up with "or let it pass." 

Talk about it and express for yourself, what is intolerable. Especially because it could become an emotional problem with very dangerous consequences. This is the best vaccine against emotional blackmail, bad people masquerading as laughter, aggression. 

We cannot disguise "good humor", which is clearly manipulation, passive violence, control to make us feel guilty. Walking away from what hurts you is an act of self-love. No one with self-esteem stays where it hurts to be him or herself.

Janitze 💐

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Separator made with [Canva]( https://www.canva.com/) by @janitzearratia 
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Any images in this post are taken with my iPhone 12, the Infinix pro-note 30 or with the camera eighties Rolleiflex 2.8 f, and edited by me with [Canva]( https://www.canva.com/)  

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Translation with |[DeepL](www.DeepL.com/Translator (English Version))

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