Welcome to my "Fast and Furious Festival" post, based on the "Day 4" prompt. The #fastandfurious Festival is a 20-day event in The Ink Well community. Anyone is welcome to jump in at any point. The goals of the festival are to help writers build and exercise their skills, and (just as importantly) engage with other participating writers, by commenting and providing feedback on their posts. We are exploring dialog, character development, scene building and other important elements of fiction. You can read the festival rules and sign up [here](https://peakd.com/hive-170798/@theinkwell/fastandfurious-or-the-ink-well-fast-and-furious-festival-launch-hbi-giveaway-for-comments). And you can check out any of the festival posts in @theinkwell to participate in the prompts and engage with other participants. Now, on to the task for [Day 4](https://peakd.com/hive-170798/@theinkwell/fastandfurious-or-the-ink-well-fast-and-furious-festival-day-four), which is about the story arc. For this task, we are to select elements from four lists and use them to construct a short story. I made these selections: A. My main character is: *A bartender*. B. My main character's problem is: *He is disturbed by something seen by moonlight*. C. My main character is living with, encountering or at odds with: *His best friend*. D. And the thing keeping him from resolving his issue is: *A fear of ghosts*. Let's see what these elements inspired. I welcome your comments! ## Closing Time ![man1253004_1280.jpg](https://files.peakd.com/file/peakd-hive/jayna/qtZfpJqi-man-1253004_1280.jpg) <sub>Image source: [Pixabay](https://pixabay.com/photos/man-portrait-darkness-dark-profile-1253004/)</sub> Marty prepared to lock up the tavern just a bit past 2 in the morning. He had turned off the music to clear his head of the noise of patrons shouting over its drumming beat. He hated this time of night, when the place smelled of old beer and seemed a hollow shell of wasted dreams. He’d done all the usual things to wrap up and clear out, which always started with turning up the lights and letting the stragglers know the time had come for them to go home. A couple whose lips were locked together had to be broken up. One fellow was falling off of his barstool and needed a taxi summoned. Another demanded one last scotch long after last call, and when he got surly, Marty had the bouncer toss him out. Now he was the last one there to finish up. He turned down the lights, wiped down the bar and put the last glass back in its place. *Time to go.* A prickle on the back of his neck made him shudder. It was something he had felt before − the sensation that he was not alone in this place, even though of course the bouncer had checked the bathrooms, stock room and closets before exiting for the night. There it was again. The tingling of movement. Air on his face and his neck. Like the breath of a lost soul. He froze. “Hello?” The dim lighting made it hard to see all the dark corners of the tavern. He was afraid to move and the light switches were across the room. He looked toward the windows, where thin moonlight fell in through oak branches outside. Just then, he saw a shadow pass through the pale beams of light. Petrified, he backed further away, into the bar. “Who are you? What do you want?” No sound came. Without looking away from the space where he had seen the shadow, he pulled his cell phone from his pocket and told Siri to call his room mate, Tom. Tom answered, his voice full of sleep. “Marty, what the hell? You know what time it is?” “Dude. Hey. Can you come get me? Down at the bar? Something freaky is going on here.” “Seriously? No. If you’re in trouble, call the cops.” He hung up. Marty suddenly wished very dearly that he had tried to straighten things out with Tom. It hadn’t been going well. Differences of opinion since they'd found a flat together had stacked up to drive a wedge between them. They seemed to disagree on everything from the thermostat's setting to how much to feed the cat. And now here he was. Alone. No one to call upon. And *something* was between him and the door. He heard footsteps, slowly creaking across the floor. But he could see nothing. Where was it? Where had the shadow gone? Was it coming for him? He was now at the far end of the bar, no place to go. At that moment, he remembered the words of his ex-girlfriend, Lily, the night she broke up with him. “Your problem is you don’t believe in yourself, Marty. You are broken, and I can’t fix you.” She was right, he knew. Why this thought? Why now? He listened for the sound. It seemed to have stopped. Like the thing stalking him was watching, waiting for him to make a move. The last thing Lily had told him just before she walked out the door came back to him now. “To quote a philosophical bear, ‘You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think.’ I hope someday you’ll believe that.” Another tenuous creak. The feeling of air on his neck, on his face. That was when he screamed. Not from fear, but from resolve. It was a rebel yell. A call to arms. His own battle cry from within. He grabbed the key, and took five long strides to the end of the bar, and five more to the door. He pulled it open and stepped outside. Then he shouted, “You’re nothing! You’re just air, and fear itself. Nothing more!” He closed and locked the door, as if shutting a chapter of a terrible novel. “What’s the deal, pal?” Marty turned to the source of the voice, thinking it was a police officer checking up on the disturbance. But it was Tom, idling in his pickup. “Oh Tom," Marty said, calming the beating of his heart. "Thanks for coming down.” Tom’s hair was a mess, and he looked like he was half asleep, but he smiled. “Come on, hop in. Sounded like you got the upper hand.” “Yeah,” Marty said, as he climbed into the cab and chucked Tom lightly on the shoulder. “Yeah, I think I did.” ------------------------------------------------ Thanks for reading my short story! https://files.peakd.com/file/peakd-hive/zord189/Njx6CoFS-jayna.gif <h2>Join Hive at Hive.io</h2> Hive is a social blockchain where you can join communities, blog about your favorite topics, curate content and earn cryptocurrency. <b>Get started</b> Sign up an account by clicking this referral link: [HiveOnboard](https://hiveonboard.com?ref=jayna). Or start at Actifit.io! Simply click this [referral link](https://actifit.io/signup?referrer=jayna) to get started. Earn tokens by getting active every day and sharing your results. <center> ![PHC.png](https://files.peakd.com/file/peakd-hive/jayna/vHLU4StA-PHC.png)</center> <center>![The Ink well Logosm.png](https://files.peakd.com/file/peakd-hive/jayna/WG5djSFi-The20Ink20well20Logo-sm.png)</center> <center>![honey44501_640small.png](https://files.peakd.com/file/peakd-hive/jayna/b0gpbisI-honey-44501_640-small.png)</center> <center><b>#backtothehive</b> is an initiative I've started to encourage long-time members to return with fresh energy!
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---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
permlink | closing-time-a-flash-fiction-short-story-for-the-fast-and-furious-festival-day-4 | ||||||
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This is just perfect. From four bare pivot points you construct a credible story line. Not only that, you set a scene, a mood and create likable characters. Well done!
author | agmoore |
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Thank you so much, @agmoore! I truly appreciate the kind words!
author | jayna |
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I had much fun reading this piece, if I had read it earlier before writing mine, I would have change some tones. I have never seen a ghost but it present is always felt which make one's head swell from the cold breeze. Just like Marty, the best way to overcome it is through anger and self discovery. I don't know if a motivational quote from a beer bottle can work maybe except when drunk. Hahaha
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Thank you so much for your thoughtful comment, @dwixer. I agree - the best way to deal with that feeling of dread, and that you are being overpowered by your own fears is by anger (or other affirming emotion) and self discovery. Believing you can overcome whatever you are facing can go a long way to helping you to do so! The quote, by the way, is from a bear, not a beer. Ha ha! It is a famous quote of Winnie the Pooh. ![PoohBear.jpg](https://files.peakd.com/file/peakd-hive/jayna/HwfmgaHW-PoohBear.jpg)
author | jayna |
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Hahaha. I thought it was a beer. That's for the clarity
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Nice! I enjoyed the read. And that quote reminded me of 'Winnie the Pooh' movie I watched with my daughter. LOL! It's tough when adults couldn't get over their fear of ghosts. :D ![untitled.gif](https://media.tenor.com/images/94939928b50c43ccf4d54e430bacc988/tenor.gif)
author | iamraincrystal |
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Thank you, @iamraincrystal! You're exactly right. That is the source of the quote. I think we all need to hear it from time to time to help us feel brave! Thanks very much for reading my story!
author | jayna |
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Hi @jayna Love your protagonist character as the bartender. The usual last minute dealings such as unlocking lips and calling taxis. What fun. All 4 of the elements of the story were satisfied. I think the ex-girlfriend could also have substituted for the best friend as the person with whom Marty could have been at odds with. This would be only if they parted on unpleasant terms and it still bothered him. However, Marty is dealing with his fear in different way at once, as we all sometimes to. From fear, to anger, then rationalization. Nice job of combining all the elements.
author | justclickindiva |
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Thanks so much for your comments, @justclickindiva! You're right, there are essentially two antagonists - one current and one in the past whose parting words linger and he has yet (until this moment) to determine what to do with them. I thought of a reconciliation with said ex-girlfriend but it seemed way too cute so I tossed the idea out. Instead I chose to go with the option that felt more real to me, which was that the past informed the present, helping him to heal the friend relationship and face the future. And maybe even another girl... That will be the sequel. Ha ha.
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Yes, I see your point. Devil's advocate here...maybe not reconcile, just self realization her assessment of him was true and a "thank you" for helping to enlighten after the ordeal is over. But still keeping the current. Killing 2 birds... What a powerful night that would have solved 2 issues at once, lol.
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I read, holding my breath. I wonder if it was really something lurking in the dark, and not just his imagination. And if it was really, real - did he scare it? Will he see it the next day? I screamed with Marty!haha And Tom - yay Tom!! Some friends are for keeps :D
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That is a good question. Maybe in the sequel we will find out if it was his imagination or if there is really something lurking in the dark. If I were him, I would make the bouncer stay until it's time to close up. :-) Thanks for reading and commenting, @kaerpediem!
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I shall look out for it then :D
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While I consider myself a man of science, I have an irrational fear of the dark. The protagonist in this story deals with his fear through anger and then courage to confront his imaginary phantoms. I deal with my irrational fear by getting the hell out of there as fast as possible before the bogeyman (or el chupacabra) gets me. :) Great story @jayna
author | litguru |
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Oh gosh, me too, @litguru. I cannot even think about watching scary movies. The suspense and feeling that something is about to get you is too much to bear! El chupacabra... Ack! I know. (But that did actually make me laugh out loud.)
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Hi, @jayna. I loved reading you. It was a quick and entertaining read. You keep the suspense in crescendo (I like suspense and not terror). The description of the scene was spectacular. I could visualize the space. Marty the protagonist is a very strong character. Tom and the ex-girlfriend are very weak characters. I think they were not necessary in the story. Big greeting!
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Wuaoooo what an excellent story, I liked very much, the dialogue between the characters and the internal dialogue of the main character. I laughed at this sentence "He grabbed the key and took five long steps to the end of the bar and five more to the door. " a typical reaction of someone who wants to run but his body prevents him from doing so 🤣 Every time I read one of your publications, I think I have a lot to learn. Thank you for sharing your publication. Note aside: please guide me in placing the portfolio in the profile? How do I do that? @jayna
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Thanks so much, @soyunasantacruz. I'm glad you enjoyed the story! Tell me a bit more about what you mean by the portfolio. If you want to know how I add a footer with some information and images and links, what I do is I place everything in a Google doc. Then I copy the code and add it to the bottom of my post. To create the content, you can put everything into a post which you do not publish. But you can check to make sure that everything looks the way you want, and then copy the code from the post and drop that into a Google document and delete the post draft. Let me know if that helps!
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Good day, thank you 👍 I want to modify my hive profile by placing the portfolio tab. How to do it? @jayna
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