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How to avoid isolation after moving to another country by jerboa

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· @jerboa · (edited)
$136.89
How to avoid isolation after moving to another country
https://steemitimages.com/DQmYau1YmE1khDT2D4EGrpq6dTnYP6VdMaV21FAvBcST6Qx/How%20to%20avoid%20isolation%20after%20moving%20to%20another%20country.jpg

My story as an immigrant started two years ago when I fled from Ukraine to the United Kingdom. Despite people saying that it’s going to be hard and challenging, I enjoyed every step of it. I’ve been told stories by strangers about people who didn’t fit, couldn’t find a job or a partner. At some point, it seemed that nobody is truly happy abroad. 

Was moving a challenge? Definitely. Was it a hard one? I wouldn’t say so. As I’ve started to talk to more and more immigrants during these two years, I figured out that I missed a particular sort of a struggle that apparently everyone I know from Ukraine has experienced. It was the lack of quality communication. 

Language barrier had a place in my case, but meeting new people was never a problem. Within the first two months, I met more than 60 people and started shaping my surroundings. I wasn’t great at networking, so it wasn't for my personality advantage. I also realised that most of my friends abroad were surrounded by people who spoke their first language. I didn’t pay attention at first, but the more people started mentioning their circle, the more I was puzzled because it was so different to mine.

So what leads to isolation in immigration? When it comes to moving to another country, it requires stepping out of the comfort zone. If we look at Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, we will see that ‘Belonging’ would be the third stage right after ‘Safety’ and ‘Physiological’ needs. By Maslow, if an individual wants to take the next step, he needs to satisfy the previous one, in our case ‘Safety’.

Leaving the apartment and exposing yourself to the world means letting go the security blanket. As Keith Ferrazzi said: ‘Every conversation you have is an invitation to risk revealing the real you’, but being fearless won’t solve the whole problem. Some of my acquaintances have fantastic communication skills, but most of them are unsatisfied with their surroundings. They lack people they like.

And then I realised that a cornerstone of my success was a community based on mutual interest. The same day I moved to London I went out to meet people who enjoy dancing as much as I do. Because of a very specific interest, talking to everyone was very engaging. There was no place awkward silence because both sides had common ground and enjoyed exchanging experiences. Undoubtedly, people encounter different mentalities and social norms across the globe, but mutual interest always holds a value.

 If you are looking to improving your networking skills you can follow the links below to find videos and books that I find very useful:

<p><a href="https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/84699.Never_Eat_Alone?from_search=true">'Never Eat Alone'</a> by Keith Ferrazzi</p>
<p><a href="https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/262731.The_Definitive_Book_of_Body_Language?from_search=true">'The Definitive Book of Body Language'</a> by Allan Pease and Barbara Pease</p>
<p><a href="https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/4865.How_to_Win_Friends_and_Influence_People?ac=1&amp;from_search=true">'How to Win Friends and Influence People'</a> by Dale Carnegie</p>

<iframe width="560" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/R1vskiVDwl4?rel=0" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

<p><iframe width="560" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/ZZZ7k8cMA-4?rel=0" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe></p>
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@abdel-ali ·
Nice Post Mate
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@aldentan ·
I don’t feel alone on holiday cause of Tinder :p
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@jerboa ·
Dating/building a circle of reliable people might overlap, but to me it's a different experience
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@aldentan ·
True true. I am just saying haha.
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@beautifulbullies ·
$0.02
awww what an amazing journey! Welcome to the UK! I have lots of friends that have moved here from other countries and I love to learn about their cultures and even get them to teach me a little of their language too! For example I can ask my polish friends if they would like a coffee in polish lol 
Your written English is fantastic, so I can only imagine that your spoken English is the same.  Well done for taking a leap of faith, I have the up most respect for you :D
👍  
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@jerboa ·
Thank you for your kind words @beautifulbullies. The UK is a very diverse and amazing place to live, I love it! Thumbs up for Polish skills :D
👍  
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@beautifulbullies ·
Thank you! Actually now I think about it, I had a Ukranian maths teacher at school! He used to do Ukrainian dancing in his spare time and put he on a show for us once, it was amazing!
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@bitgeek ·
comment
Congratulations @jerboa, this post is the second most rewarded post (based on pending payouts) in the last 12 hours written by a User account holder (accounts that hold between 0.1 and 1.0 Mega Vests). The total number of posts by User account holders during this period was 1081 and the total pending payments to posts in this category was $2112.82. To see the full list of highest paid posts across all accounts categories, [click here](www.steemit.com/steemit/@bitgeek/payout-stats-report-for-28th-september-2017--part-ii). 

If you do not wish to receive these messages in future, please reply stop to this comment.
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@boontjie ·
$0.07
This is quite inspiring.  I can only imagine the courage it must have taken to leave your home with your friends and family.  I am glad you could easily make friends.  It makes adapting to your new country less stressful
👍  
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@countryfree ·
I guess it depends on who you are, I've never felt isolated even in crazy places. I'm European but even in China where the people are a different race, I'm feeling all right.

I know that a long time ago, I was in a foreign country, but I met other travelers from my native land, and I suddenly found myself surrounded by fellow countrymen, and I didn't like it. If you choose to travel, or immigrate, leaving your country and your friends is very often a motivation.

Nowadays, I'm feeling isolated when I'm going back to my native country, because of the people I see don't have all the experiences I've been through.
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@dashingtraveller ·
Amazing life story! 

Thank-you for sharing this with us, your writing really tells your story well. I could transport myself into your shoes while reading. I kinda have a similar story with living in another country, and for me the most important thing is to keep yourself busy and go out and try to make friends and talk to people, that can help with the language barrier breaking and also help to open yourself up.
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@denmarkguy ·
$0.07
An inspiring story!

I think-- in many ways-- we find what we look for. If we believe it is going to be hard and lonely, it will be hard and lonely. If we believe it will go well... it goes well. Most of the time.

I'm an expat from Denmark living in the USA... I have lived in many other countries, as well; I'm with you, I never felt like the experience was particularly isolating. But you have to get out there and make yourself be part of the local culture in your new adopted homeland.
👍  
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@jerboa ·
I agree. It might be a matter of perspective.
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@eloquentsam ·
tip!
👍  
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@erikdenoorman ·
Amazing story!

Two years ago I also moved to Bulgaria from the Netherlands, it has been a big step and I learned so many things about myself, life, responsibilities and relationships.

You might be leaving your old relationships behind, they are always welcome to come around and they would be bad friends if you are not welcome anymore whenever you get back.
New relationships can always be made when you move to a new location.

I started going to yoga studios literally the first week I was here and it has definitely been the best decision. The doors that open up through yogis, they are the coolest people :)

---

I hope you keep doing exceptionally well in the GB. Visit some stone circles when you get the chance, their energy is magical.
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@firepower ·
Great job, keep the posts coming. Really enjoyed reading this, thank you for sharing :)
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@gailbelga ·
I am glad you have overcome. I wish to transfer from my city to another city for my boyfriend. Upon reading your work, I realized that I can also overcome my fear of moving. Keep it up deae
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@gniksivart ·
I dont know what never eating alone is about but I have noticed I am much happier at my job when I eat with co workers at work and sometimes outside. Glad youve found the transition the be a success.
👍  
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vote details (1)
@jerboa ·
Hahah, it's about expanding your contact list but yes, sharing a meal in a good company can be rewarding indeed :)
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@henryba ·
Wow.
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@iskandar05 ·
Nice pics..
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@julybrave ·
Good Write! Good Life
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@kamleshsingh ·
Written very well,  Inspirational !
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@jerboa ·
Thank you @kamleshsingh!
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@katrinalewis ·
Good post!
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@kayclarity ·
Wow - you were doing so well! Where did you go??
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@leo-tmp ·
Very nice story and very inspiring.
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@loannethor ·
Good luck with making friends and intergrating, you have to constantly work at getting out of your comfort zone and keep making friends.  It’s not easy but persistent helps.
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@lykkejay ·
I was definetly in your spot when I moved to the United States back in 2009. It was very hard to adapt to the new culture and to live in a totally new environment. Fortunate enough, I joined college after few months and started meeting new people immediately. @jerboa Thank You for sharing your story.
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@makkizakki ·
In life you lose the friends you needed losing and always find others on your way.

Look! 
Beauty surrounds us all. 
Why stay in prison. 
When the door of life is so wide open.
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@mialinnea ·
You are so very right! Going out, talking to people and meeting locals is the key to avoiding isolation when you're moving to a new place. It is really typical that people end up hanging with others from their own country, and it's understandable since they feel a connection to them. But that way you will never really be a part of the local culture and actually feel like you belong. 

Great tip on going dancing, or doing another activity that you love and can do even without sharing a language. I recently found a app called meetup, where you can find groups of people sharing interests and organizing events. It seems really great but I'm not sure that it exists outside of the US.

About one month ago I moved from Finland to California so I am dealing with trying to fit in at the moment. I have a bit of a shy personality, but I still try to interact as much as possible with other people and I am already beginning to have a network of really nice people around me and I am getting to know more people every day!

Great post @jerboa :)
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@jerboa ·
Thank you @mialinnea! I will check out the app :)
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@nikita.onopko ·
Thanks for that sharing!
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@rehmanosama ·
Living in an entirely new place is a sweet challenge. I found that you get to discover yourself more in depth. You have the sense of freedom and you are in total charge. Make the best of it, explore, have conversations, meet people and you just might meet yourself.!
👍  
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vote details (1)
@rsakib17 ·
Your story is inspiring. You got along the stranger quickly. I think you are too friendly.  Those videos were useful. Hope you have a great life in UK @jerboa
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@jerboa ·
Thank you @rsakib17! I'm glad you liked it.
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@sallykwitt ·
$0.07
Great post.  I loved your story.  I have moved many times in my life to different parts of the US, and had similar experiences.  I love meeting new people so much, but it is hard not to have a history with people at first.  Getting together with people who have shared interests is the way to build relationships fairly quickly.  Good post, good for you!  Upvoted, resteemed and followed you @jerboa
👍  
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vote details (1)
@sandalphon ·
After living out of my homeland for 15 years, I can relate to your story. Depending on which country you go to, the challenges as well as the opportunities are somewhat different. I have lived in 4 continents and I could never imagine a more adventurous life had I stayed home.
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@splendorhub ·
Great story! and so happy for you. My parents immigrated to America from another country and similar to your story they had their struggle but made the most of the journey. Changes over all no matter how small can be struggle. Your story is definitely inspiring. Thank you for sharing. Best wishes..your friend @splendorhub
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@jerboa ·
Thank you @splendorhub!
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@steemitboard ·
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@thegoliath ·
I am glad you were able to successfully work on your life in a new country without too much difficulty. Wouldn't know what it is like myself, but understand the importance of just meeting people with similar interests to make better friends, ones you like to have.

It will definitely make your life there a lot easier to grow and become a good life for you. :)
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@tipu ·
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