After a precise analysis of different types of behaviors I see when people want their ex back, I was able to note the most common but also some new things to avoid doing when you are trying to get your ex back.

First of all, I noticed that a great number of us have the tendency to let our ex-significant others take control of the situations at hand. By this I mean we settle for listening and reacting. Being passive is never the solution, especially if you want to get your ex boyfriend or get your ex girlfriend back. Being in love with them doesn’t mean that you have to be submissive and let them make all the decisions. You have to be active if you want to make a good impression on your ex. Therefore, tip number one to avoid when trying to get back with an ex is to be overly passive and hand your ex complete control over the situation.

The reason this tends to happen because we do not value or respects ourselves or our opinions. Because our ex’s are the ones who likely pulled the trigger on the breakup, we now feel like we aren’t worthy to make decisions and implement appropriate action. Therefore, the faster way to kick this tip into gear is by valuing and respecting yourself. If you need tips on how to achieve this, we can help! In our one-on-one coaching sessions, we will create action items for you to focus on geared toward getting your self esteem back in a healthy and stable range. This works wonders, believe me!

One of the things you should never do when you’re trying to get back together that probably struck me the most is when people allow themselves to revel in their sadness. This notion might sound a little confusing so allow me to explain; giving yourself the right to suffer means that you’re doing things that are holding you back from becoming happy again. For example, constantly thinking about your ex and revisiting every single memory, or taking the time to look at their Facebook, Snapchat or Instagram profile (you may even be Googling their name!), crying over songs that you both liked, are all actions that will hold you back from rebuilding yourself. You have the power to put an end to these actions!

How can you let a situation like this continue without doing something to get back on top? My role as a relationship expert is to provide you with solutions through my coaching sessions.
After each case study, there has been another thing that spearheads the things that you should never do when trying to get back together with your ex.

Being needy when you’re trying to get back together with your ex is one of the things you should never do when you’re trying to get back together. It could actually be the biggest one because we’ve seen this one the most in the thousands of people we’ve coached in the last 7 years.

In other words, being needy is demanding to get back together; asking, or even begging your ex girlfriend to come back without actually having changed or improved anything. When you act like this, you want to play with your ex’s emotions instead of working on a real action plan with efficient techniques and real, long-term improvements. Being needy for a few weeks isn’t going to help anything because you didn’t make the necessary changes.

Why should you get on your knees and hope that your ex will take you back? If they do come back it won’t be because of love; it’ll be to clear their conscience and I can promise you that sooner or later they’ll leave again when they realize that they’re still not satisfied. So this is something to steer clear of!

You have to prepare your future with your ex and in order to do this it’s imperative to start with a solid and sincere foundation that will hold up against future disagreements or fights. You shouldn’t demand their return; you should make it happen naturally. You can convince them to come back to you thanks to the actions you’ll use and tangible improvements in your attitude.