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What have I learned about myself over three years? by jibspark

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blog · @jibspark ·
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What have I learned about myself over three years?
# I am slowly reincarnating as myself... just better

![vince-fleming-507013-unsplash.jpg](https://gateway.ipfs.io/ipfs/QmcSUXCGFRSkEDFyodve5AxSoAFY5NYetMM5csz99Nybmx)

> [Photo](https://unsplash.com/photos/Vmr8bGURExo) courtesy of Vince Fleming

If I told you to look in the mirror today, who would you see? In comparison to a 10 years younger "you", you probably wouldn't see the same person looking back at you right now. It is terribly fascinating as to how people change over the years and if I think about it myself, I have changed a lot. I am going to give you a perspective as to just 3 years of my life and how I've changed after this time.

### Let's start! Here are the things which I've discovered about myself:
#### Mental illnesses really are a thing...
![depression-brain-schwartz_bjayua.jpg](https://gateway.ipfs.io/ipfs/QmeYr98apx7c4xLHtnAhjxyWAU48oDkUb5a9uy5aqhLXyB)
> [Source](https://www.thedailybeast.com/depression-is-linked-to-hyperconnectivity-of-brain-regions-a-new-study-shows)

and they're quite a pain in the ass. Not being able to wake up in the morning because you're so damn tired (although you've slept quite some time) or just thinking of pessimistic thoughts throughout the whole day because your mood is bad? Yeah, that really makes my mind tingle as well. And yes, I have acquired depression - that sounds like an achievement, doesn't it? Well, it really doesn't feel like it, I hate it, I want to get rid of it and I hope I will!

#### I finally know what I want to do with my life...
... sort of. A few years ago I felt as if I have everything laid out in my life - what I want to do, who I want to become and how do I achieve everything. Those few years flew by and now I have a whole different view on life. I now know I want to study literature and languages instead of science and doctor-y stuff. Why? Because I just felt like I wouldn't fit in the doctors' department because of my shaky, cold hands and my mind, which is always all over the place. 

#### I really love music...
<center>![received_1805068663104028.jpeg](https://gateway.ipfs.io/ipfs/QmZ2V6HgvkBgVcUiiDHKRdJQ5yQZsj3NdAwy6dUBa7CiJ4)</center>
... like really-really love it. I knew I liked music when I started playing instruments, but now I feel like playing musical instruments, singing and listening to music as well have become something that I want to do my whole life. I would love to learn new instruments as well (I am in the process of that currently) and probably want to participate in different orchestras and choirs.

#### I f*cking l o v e Excel (?)
I really can't explain it, but I have never would've thought of myself as an analytic type of person. And here I am, trying to create new Excel sheets every day to make my life much more easier. You know, work company lists, maybe even incoming and outgoing money... And the way that I try to automate everything is really fun in my opinion!

#### I love working!

<center>![aie logo.jpg](https://gateway.ipfs.io/ipfs/QmfBNwbB2DJuu4q3k99pZ39QstsBK7Ze5xQvw8ySEBAsRs)</center>
> Source: AIESEC in Estonia Facebook page

I am now a part of AIESEC in Estonia (thanks to @axynos, you persuasive motherf*cker) and I really like it! I like participating in different events and trainings, I like meeting new people and having a chat with them about which problems are going on in the world and how to fix them. I have not yet found a job, which I would love doing my entire life, but I will be looking!

#### And to top it off, for all of you who think love doesn't exist...
... it really does. I thought it didn't, but it definitely does.

# How has your life changed over the years? Where do you see yourself in five years? Leave a comment down below!
👍  , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , and 24 others
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@adazone · 
Hello @jibspark, at the beginning I would like to thank you. Because I know that it is not so easy to open yourself, look inside yourself and share what you found with someone else. I am also after a difficult times in my life, among others it is depression, and I hope that I am starting to get out of it, though it is not easy, and sometimes I feel like I'm falling apart...
After reading your post I feel a bit like after talking to a good friend, we have similar interests and thoughts. I also love music, and around it I want to build my future. Recently I discovered that I dream about a calmer, slower life, I am amazed by world, nature, art, photography, literature.. I have the impression that in the course of the last years I have lost many of this fascinating things, although I certainly have many nice memories from that period. 
What will happen in five years? I am not planning so far, but I hope that I will find myself and work out a life in which I will feel good and fulfilled. 
I wish you that too! I'll keep my fingers crossed for you! Go on! 🌷
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@jibspark · 
I hope you reach your goals! It was a very nice experience reading your comment and I feel the same way as well - I dream about the same things you do, but the key word here, in my opinion, is dreaming about them. One day you have to come out of your daydream and start achieving - and that is the way to fulfil your goals! Thank you very much for your comment!
👍  
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@adazone · 
Thank you too, and I also wish U all the best! 🔝🆙😊
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vote details (3)
@anikaa · (edited)
$0.82
That least you came to know your yourself and desires 😃👌🏻 
Life changes everyday, every second as life is unpredictable anything can happen at any time.
👍  ,
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@jibspark · 
I agree with you! Everything is unpredictable, but you can sometimes place your bets on something in order to make it more probable. At least that's how I like to think... Thank you for your comment though! :)
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@axynos ·
$0.12
> How has your life changed over the years?

A little over a year ago, my worldview and plans for the future turned to the polar opposite of what I thought I would be doing. So here I am, persuading people to go abroad and trying to educate them.

> Where do I see myself in 5 years?

Somewhere in this universe. What will I be doing? No clue. Where will I be exactly? No clue. Life is an adventure and I'm here to enjoy the ride.
👍  ,
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@jibspark · 
I hope you enjoy your ride as you intend to! Educating people leads to knowledge, which should always be efficiently growing in the world! Thank you for your comment!
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@foxkoit · 
it's interesting to read :) good post :)
👍  
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@jibspark ·
$0.03
Thanks a lot!
👍  
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@foxkoit · 
I try come soon back :)
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